paige @bonerwizard.bsky.social · 30/09/20264yo learned the idiom “now we’re talkin” and suggested instead it be “now we’re poopin” and I agree 1263
paige @bonerwizard.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Not to sound like an old fart but these e-bikes are a problem. A kid darted in front of my car & I was like bro, did u not see me bro? Why aren't u being safe on that bike bro? Do u know u almost triggered a grim sequence of events that would alter the lives and destinies of everyone involved, bro? 2151
paige @bonerwizard.bsky.social · 24/09/2026Wait are Ms. Rachel and Taylor Swift both releasing an album on Friday 151
paige @bonerwizard.bsky.social · 19/09/2026my extremely broken brain was just trying to think of "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" but first it spit out "Indiana Jones and the Goblet of Christ" 1190
paige @bonerwizard.bsky.social · 17/09/2026(Norm Macdonald Weekend Update voice) Officials cited several problems with the proposal, including "Do you know this is Ohio?” 2234
paige @bonerwizard.bsky.social · 15/09/2026I regret ever saying he should have mackled less. I take that back 0221
paige @bonerwizard.bsky.social · 14/09/2026wait a second. no, wait a minute. hold up, hold the phone, hold your horses too. pump the brakes. everybody be quiet right now. all he did was FALL DOWN. 0110
paige @bonerwizard.bsky.social · 14/09/2026every time i hear an ed sheeran song i just imagine high schoolers dancing awkwardly at prom. like "this song perfectly describes our young love, darla. we're 17 and don't know how to fuck good" 2271
paige @bonerwizard.bsky.social · 13/09/2026Had a dream we were in spirit Halloween and someone said “let me show you the Oldboy animatronics” ?????? 0100
paige @bonerwizard.bsky.social · 10/09/2026the baby when he sees me changing the remote batteries and he wants a lick 0210
paige @bonerwizard.bsky.social · 10/09/20264yo is mad we're watching Sesame Street instead of YouTube videos of people going to Halloween stores so he said "I will call this Vomit Street" he's gonna be a great poster one day you guys 0150
paige @bonerwizard.bsky.social · 10/09/2026Honoring Charlie Kirk eve by parking in the Veteran parking spot at Lowe’s 🫡 1371
paige @bonerwizard.bsky.social · 08/09/2026me waking up in bed tangled in my phone charger and CPAP hose 0302
paige @bonerwizard.bsky.social · 07/09/2026kept saying the phrase "soft nights, hard poops" in my dream last night 3110
paige @bonerwizard.bsky.social · 06/09/2026the ghost of christmas yet to come saying "you've only got like 2 days left to change my man. can you be generous for 2 days? surely you can make it 2 days being nice." 0111
paige @bonerwizard.bsky.social · 02/09/2026it's the necktie of the bible belt. it's part of the outfit. 050
paige @bonerwizard.bsky.social · 01/09/202662 degrees and cloudystatic.klipy.comPolice Officer Grand SaluteALT: Police Officer Grand Salute 060
paige @bonerwizard.bsky.social · 29/08/2026Fuckin love little historic downtowns. Love that shit! 3270
Reposted by paigeMike Schuster @mcs212.bsky.social · 28/08/2026There's an episode in the last season where DJ reveals to Kimmy how she died (drunk driver). Even though Kimmy would've known by virtue of being her best friend throughout the series including at the time of her mom's death. The Tanners really buried those memories. 041
paige @bonerwizard.bsky.social · 28/08/2026They really did not talk about the dead mom that much on Full House. 3210
paige @bonerwizard.bsky.social · 28/08/2026I’m going to act like I personally knew the next celebrity that dies 3142
paige @bonerwizard.bsky.social · 28/08/2026I’ve been banned from every pee group on the internet 1121
paige @bonerwizard.bsky.social · 28/08/20264yo is always wanting to go to Lowe’s. Always. We are currently at Lowe’s and he just asked if we could go to Lowe’s once we’re done at Lowe’s. 0110
paige @bonerwizard.bsky.social · 18/08/2026representative nancy mace had mostly a mouth for a face she got a tattoo then went number 2 now beans are all over the place 4324
paige @bonerwizard.bsky.social · 15/08/2026Making 4yo listen to the new Phoebe Bridgers album with me 0693
paige @bonerwizard.bsky.social · 14/08/2026Just learned I’m in a starter pack called “farter pack” and I am honored 0190
paige @bonerwizard.bsky.social · 12/08/2026Preparing to tell my dentist that I haven’t really flossed at all since my last visit but I’ve done a lot of other things I’m really proud of 2302
Reposted by paigeLincoln Michel @thelincoln.bsky.social · 11/08/2026Dance like there's no Flock cameras watching 117029
paige @bonerwizard.bsky.social · 11/08/2026If @scottwampler.bsky.social weren't already dead this would kill him 1241
paige @bonerwizard.bsky.social · 10/08/2026if i had a dollar every time my 4yo tried to explain this scene to his pediatrician i would have 2 dollars 080
