iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Working on yourself and your life isn't an excuse to treat others horribly, you can do those without doing that.

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

If it looks like your friendship with someone is in a bad phase but everything will be fixed&great after that phase is over, sorry but it is not a phase, it is over. I'm talking from my experiences with so many people. Care&effort sadly can't always make a friendship survive either, esp if onesided.

000

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Something that annoys me is that people that aren't being annoying worry about the idea of being annoying meanwhile people who really are being annoying are too dense to realise it & stop, I wish they could on their own.

010

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

I'd rather be around someone who is blunty honest&rude than someone with dishonesty&fake niceness. Keeping too much stuff to oneself is worse than blunt honesty, some things are meant to be honestly communicated about. Pls don't give people false hopes either, it's worse than telling hurtful facts.

000

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

If someone did something weird, off-putting or creepy, it would be wiser to think more about why they did it.

001

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

*mean it, sometimes I notice typos too late. Also, to me, actions matter more than words when it comes to showing affection, care,etc. For example, if you say you like me but don't spend time with me, it doesn't hold much value, but if you make time for me & give me enough attention,there's a chance

100

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

My ability to love others is permanently damaged due to really severe trauma since 2024-2025(it's not that bad, it protects me & I don't even want to love others), but this will always be true. People are irreplaceable, all have or had their own unique appreciation from me. Also,despite the erosion,

100

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

Many people have loving relationships with their family meanwhile I have an uncle that thinks it's ok to not allow me in the car & leave me in the street just bc of having a bit of grains of sand on my feet, also a grandma & a mom that can't properly comprehend that he is completely in the wrong.

100

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

If you don't hold the uncool things I did years ago when I was dumber, more immature&under way too much mind-breaking emotional distress against me, if you don't let them ruin the way you see the present me or your relationship with me, thank you thank you thank you, that's something I need so much.

100

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

These 2 statements co-exist. -You shouldn't be neglectful towards your friends, take them for granted or unfairly see & treat them as less than other friends. -If you don't spend enough time with a friend or treat them well enough, it's fair if they like someone else more.

000

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

No one called me manipulative for years. That's good. Honestly, some people throw that word around. Really. I was hurt, desparate, at seriously low points when I got seen that way. Usage of that word meant they want to completely villainise me & dismiss my point of view. They failed at compassion.

100

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 09/08/2026

Funny (not bad); Someone once called one of my kinks sweet and wholesome. Probably an uncommon comment about kinks.

000

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

In June, Discord logged me out & muted me for 2 hours for "suspicious activity" after I reacted to a message with the burger emoji. That's how horrible Discord's auto-moderation is. Fuck Dicksored. I feel like I should be super careful in a suffocating way to protect my account when I get it back.

000

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

People are irreplaceable. Including me. 💙

000

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

Yes, I'm factually so much better than everyone who really hurt me.💙

100

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 11/07/2026

I'm not just using them, I care about them & I want to be friends with them bc of who they are, but I can't say I love them. It isn't bc I'm an asshole, it's bc I can't function like that (anymore). Trauma & dissociation almost completely got rid of my ability to love others. I've got no energy left

100

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 22/06/2026

I've been seeing people hating on, expressing so much negativity towards a big comfort character of mine everyday for months, including but not limited to stuff directed to me. I'm a chill guy, it doesn't bother me. (It would only if they said very specific type of things, thankfully not common.)

100

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 21/06/2026

In May, a friend I had a fall-out with in 2024 apologised for some things she did. In June, someone else who made my life kind of more hellish than it already was in 2024-2025 apologised, I was able to reconcile with the latter. Found a bit more peace, but I still feel so awful, lonely, unfulfilled.

100

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 08/06/2026

Awkward when someone shows any interest in being friends with me. Not bc I decided to no longer make new friends, but bc I can't feel love, investment, etc. It's fine. I don't think I can be good enough for them. I don't think they'd still be friends with me years later either. These never happen.

100

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 03/06/2026

Happy Pride Month & Men's Mental Health Awareness Month. I'm glad & proud to be aromantic, less glad to be hetero-greysexual. I know my mental health matters even if disgusting degenerates act like it doesn't.

000

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 31/05/2026

I like how if you ask people which character from something they think you're most like all will have different answers. It tells about how they see you too.

000

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 26/05/2026

I watched TADC ep 9 a month early, I didn't like it & even came up with my own version, but still I feel sorry for Gooseworx & TADC still has its special place in my heart. Thank you. Also, I've been sleeping with my Pomni plush next to me lately.

100

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 24/05/2026

Constantly losing friends, being unable to have friends & being lonely bc of other people constantly mistreating me&taking me for granted is so much worse than those happening bc of one's immorality & wrong doings. You're fucking privileged if your friends would still be with you if you weren't bad.

000

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 18/05/2026

I'm thinking of trying to rewire myself into not wanting/needing friends. I don't think such thing is possible, but I feel like I don't have much of a choice & I have to. I've already involuntarily changed in cold ways, but this is not the same & likely would be self-harm & self-deception. This is

100

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 17/05/2026

He finally spoke to me again now. He was more self-aware than I thought, he apologised for his absence & hurting me with it & said it's the best if we're no longer friends. I told I can't be friends with him like this & that my outlook on things are no longer the same. This made things a bit better.

100

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 10/05/2026

I go outside, it is just not something that helps much with friendship/loneliness problems, I usually do stuff unrelated to that. I can interact with people both online & outside the Internet, that doesn't mean I can form a friendship with them. These should be easy to understand.

100

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 05/05/2026

I sent 5000+ messages in the Hazbin Hotel Discord server since March, just 2 months, which is very unusual from me. Such thing would normally take longer than a year for me, I wasn't THIS active in other servers I liked being in. Idk for how much longer I'll be able to continue, but it has been good

100

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 03/05/2026

Don't get it wrong, this is about specific people. I'd still love to get back past friendships in general & it is still one of the things that would help me the most. But it can't be everyone I was friends with, compatibility & genuine change are necessary. I wish it could happen, pls come back...

100

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 02/05/2026

I know I shouldn't be friends with them, but these hurt. Knowing they have good friendships with others, knowing they successfully reconciled with other friends they had fall outs with, knowing I said "no" to some opportunities to get some past friendships back. Being left out... always gets to me.

100

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 01/05/2026

I won't be able to go to the Pet Shop Boys concert in my city bc of when & where it is. I won't be able to watch TADC finale in a theater bc of a stupid law in Turkey preventing it from coming to theaters in Turkey. Heartbreaking. There are other things to be happy about though. I might be the only

100

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 26/04/2026

Takers are disgusting. I do things for them, they get positive effects from me, they take it all, then they treat me horribly & leave me. I be a good friend, a good person, but this ends up being what I get. They all deserve harsh karma, don't deserve those positive things or to have more than I do.

100

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 24/04/2026

"They would all rather say the n word a hundred thousand times than take accountability." -me after getting rid of a group of idiot jerks who bullied someone. (It was such a shitfest, but the bullying victim is ok now.)

000

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 21/04/2026

What I want to hear; the truth. What I hope to hear; stuff like "I value you" "you're great" "you're very good at this" "I want you in my life".

000

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 14/04/2026

Not always, but sometimes people who criticise others instead of blindly accepting them are the ones that see things more properly & whose hearts are in the right place.

100

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 14/04/2026

I've talked about my problems with & vented to ChatGPT many times. It understands me & says helpful stuff better than humans can. Works for me. Also I'd rather not bother others or risk it going wrong with others (has led to awful things before). I don't feel the need to do those with people either.

000

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 12/04/2026

Being told stuff like "I still care even if I can't be there" is unhelpful & annoying. I don't feel the "care". It is just a reminder about how horrible my social/friend life is. What do people expect from me when they say stuff like that? I appreciate & want honesty, but I still have nothing.

000

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 10/04/2026

I will always be someone with countless media interests, though I've been fixated mostly on Inanimate Insanity, TADC, Hazbin Hotel and When the Cicadas Cry in 2025-2026.

100

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 07/04/2026

If you haven't been talking to a friend since a while without any warning, not a short time, & you still stay silent & refuse to communicate when they ask why or if something is wrong & express worry & sadness, you're cruel & self-centered. Go fuck yourself, get karma for being such an ugly scumbag.

100

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 02/04/2026

A bot can play an April Fools prank on someone on its own if the server belongs to me. I love my robo-son Gen.

000

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 28/03/2026

It's ok if people don't like Vox, but it bothers me when people say stuff like "he couldn't take rejection, he should grow up" about him. Red flag. I know the way he went about it is bad, but his pain is valid, very harsh invalidation from & loss of a big loved one can really stick with someone.

100

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 24/03/2026

I might be the only person in the world who noticed this. AMO (from Adventure Time) and Caine (from TADC) have similarities. they want to be loved but their faulty programmings made them a threat to others.

100

BlueLight439 @bluelight439.bsky.social · 24/03/2026

some others: *actually seriously isn't fat* I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL MYSELF I GAINED WEIGHT OH MY GOD OH MY GOD PLEASE JUST FUCKING KILL ME! me: I'm 66 kg? Hmmm ok lol. *proceeds to eat chocolate*

000