birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Call me when they discover a drug that feels better than rubbing your eyes. 001
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 31/08/2026The spring of anxiety and the sheet of apathy. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 01/08/2026Something like 30% of women will have some sort of pelvic floor dysfunction in their life and no one has thought of promoting masturbation as a form of lifelong care?!? 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 21/07/2026This feels like an article that’s a cross between the Onion and an ad in an 80’s sci-fi movie. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 20/07/2026I can’t wait to only be component atoms again 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 15/07/2026One day I looked down and had adult nipples. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 05/07/2026One of the perks of modern times is when I forget my wallet at home I don’t have to go home to grab it - I can pay with my phone which is virtually attached to my person at all times. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 03/07/2026Forever and always anti-stand-to-pee. The splatter zone means people are walking around with piss all over their pants. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 22/06/2026Y2K fashion is back - where’s the matching ribbed tank tops and undies?? Unmatched in the way they make you feel cute at home in your room. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 19/06/2026Ah, Halifax is always so considerate to its taxpayers and commuters. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 15/06/2026Why is it that in the venn diagram of shoes that look nice and shoes that are good for your feet the circles don’t touch? 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 15/06/2026Afraid of the future like it’s gonna hurt. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 14/06/2026Watching Wayward while reading The Body Keeps the Score especially highlights the fuckery. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 06/06/2026Can you please make this into merch?? It’s perfect for a t-shirt. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 07/05/2026Necessary and maintenance. Too many vowels and similar sounding constants. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 07/05/2026Physical deformities as metaphors: a small mouth as a reminder not to hunger, not to bite off much, so pure joy looks wrong. A rib cage that folds in on itself, a reminder to shrink, stay small and prevent all other growth. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 28/04/2026Bulbous bald beer bellied bros and their petite wives. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 10/04/2026Babies are as cute as you’d expect a seeping lump of delicate flesh would be. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 26/03/2026I thought the trend was gonna be cookie shops. It makes sense to me that part of the Bay is going to be groceries. That’s going to be super great for everyone who works @ mall and for all the apartments proposed to be built around the mall (assuming it makes it long enough to see the buildings open) 030
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 26/03/2026I loathe the fact that alcohol makes me feel good at all. I understand my family’s penchant for it more and more the older I get and it makes me mad. I refuse to use it as a crutch as they have … but it’s right there and so easy. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 20/03/2026I really do hate that the numbness™ is the only thing that allows me to feel the real feelings. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 18/03/2026I know the transition to spring makes everyone a little dodgy - but why is my lil reptile brain obsessed with the idea of sabotaging my best and longest relationship just to ride some randoms?! Logically, I don’t want to. But it’s like a dog gnawing on a bone it will choke and die on. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 05/03/2026Hills I am willing to die on: sweatpants are a sign of existential defeat and I will not own a pair, a manual toothbrush is as good as an electric - if used properly, additive dieting > subtractive dieting. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 04/03/2026Born to dilly-dally, forced to hurry-scurry. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 03/03/2026To pay attention, this is our endless and proper work. - MO 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 26/02/2026It would be nice if whatever replaces to offer the same two walls for street art use. It’s always been such a cool spot. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 24/02/2026Bless the folks that plow my parking lot. Feller saw me digging my car out at 6:15AM and came along and did one big swipe right in front of my car to clear the terrible compacted icy bit at the end. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 18/02/2026“Physical self awareness is the frist step in releasing the tyranny of the past.” 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 04/02/2026Why is the most restful and restorative sleep the 9 minutes of a snoozed alarm? 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 02/02/2026Maybe one day when I get even older I’ll get a lil godly believing in a Mary Oliver/The Color Purple kinda way 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 23/01/2026I hope as I die I get to watch a highlight reel of all the times I slipped and fell or walked into street signs. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 22/01/2026Boxer briefs are the superior underwear. For everyone; no matter the downstairs situation. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 10/01/2026There is one person from high school that I have an undeterred curiosity about who is untraceable. They barely existed on social media in HS back in its hay day (which is deleted now) and I don’t have any mutuals I can ask either. The need to know is unshakeable and haunts my curious ass. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 08/01/2026Important to understand about me: I don’t have bad intentions, I’m just an idiot. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 06/01/2026That post vacation/week off clarity stings. Back to waking up at 5:30AM and my very first waking thought is “no wonder you’re miserable all the time, this is awful. You don’t like any part of your job. You don’t even have a good work friend to soften the suffering.” 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 04/01/2026Prime example. This would be obscene on a smooth Barbie crotch never mind soft human clam bits. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 03/01/2026Why do ladies bathing suit bottoms exclusively come in 2 styles: contain meemaw’s pot of boiled squash or just enough to cover a singular lip and maybe a butthole if you’re lucky. 100
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 01/01/2026“Stop doom scrolling, start tree hoping.” 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 10/12/2025Hey autocorrect, “were” is a valid, common word. We are not always in need of your correction. 000
