birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 4hCall me when they discover a drug that feels better than rubbing your eyes. 001
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 31/08/2026The spring of anxiety and the sheet of apathy. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 01/08/2026Something like 30% of women will have some sort of pelvic floor dysfunction in their life and no one has thought of promoting masturbation as a form of lifelong care?!? 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 20/07/2026I can’t wait to only be component atoms again 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 15/07/2026One day I looked down and had adult nipples. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 05/07/2026One of the perks of modern times is when I forget my wallet at home I don’t have to go home to grab it - I can pay with my phone which is virtually attached to my person at all times. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 03/07/2026Forever and always anti-stand-to-pee. The splatter zone means people are walking around with piss all over their pants. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 22/06/2026Y2K fashion is back - where’s the matching ribbed tank tops and undies?? Unmatched in the way they make you feel cute at home in your room. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 15/06/2026Why is it that in the venn diagram of shoes that look nice and shoes that are good for your feet the circles don’t touch? 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 15/06/2026Afraid of the future like it’s gonna hurt. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 14/06/2026Watching Wayward while reading The Body Keeps the Score especially highlights the fuckery. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 07/05/2026Physical deformities as metaphors: a small mouth as a reminder not to hunger, not to bite off much, so pure joy looks wrong. A rib cage that folds in on itself, a reminder to shrink, stay small and prevent all other growth. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 28/04/2026Bulbous bald beer bellied bros and their petite wives. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 10/04/2026Babies are as cute as you’d expect a seeping lump of delicate flesh would be. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 26/03/2026I loathe the fact that alcohol makes me feel good at all. I understand my family’s penchant for it more and more the older I get and it makes me mad. I refuse to use it as a crutch as they have … but it’s right there and so easy. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 20/03/2026I really do hate that the numbness™ is the only thing that allows me to feel the real feelings. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 18/03/2026I know the transition to spring makes everyone a little dodgy - but why is my lil reptile brain obsessed with the idea of sabotaging my best and longest relationship just to ride some randoms?! Logically, I don’t want to. But it’s like a dog gnawing on a bone it will choke and die on. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 05/03/2026Hills I am willing to die on: sweatpants are a sign of existential defeat and I will not own a pair, a manual toothbrush is as good as an electric - if used properly, additive dieting > subtractive dieting. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 04/03/2026Born to dilly-dally, forced to hurry-scurry. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 03/03/2026To pay attention, this is our endless and proper work. - MO 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 24/02/2026Bless the folks that plow my parking lot. Feller saw me digging my car out at 6:15AM and came along and did one big swipe right in front of my car to clear the terrible compacted icy bit at the end. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 18/02/2026“Physical self awareness is the frist step in releasing the tyranny of the past.” 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 04/02/2026Why is the most restful and restorative sleep the 9 minutes of a snoozed alarm? 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 02/02/2026Maybe one day when I get even older I’ll get a lil godly believing in a Mary Oliver/The Color Purple kinda way 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 23/01/2026I hope as I die I get to watch a highlight reel of all the times I slipped and fell or walked into street signs. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 22/01/2026Boxer briefs are the superior underwear. For everyone; no matter the downstairs situation. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 10/01/2026There is one person from high school that I have an undeterred curiosity about who is untraceable. They barely existed on social media in HS back in its hay day (which is deleted now) and I don’t have any mutuals I can ask either. The need to know is unshakeable and haunts my curious ass. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 08/01/2026Important to understand about me: I don’t have bad intentions, I’m just an idiot. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 06/01/2026That post vacation/week off clarity stings. Back to waking up at 5:30AM and my very first waking thought is “no wonder you’re miserable all the time, this is awful. You don’t like any part of your job. You don’t even have a good work friend to soften the suffering.” 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 03/01/2026Why do ladies bathing suit bottoms exclusively come in 2 styles: contain meemaw’s pot of boiled squash or just enough to cover a singular lip and maybe a butthole if you’re lucky. 100
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 01/01/2026“Stop doom scrolling, start tree hoping.” 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 10/12/2025Hey autocorrect, “were” is a valid, common word. We are not always in need of your correction. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 06/12/2025The amount of people who do not brush their teeth daily astounds me. Take better care of that non-renewable resource, dinuses. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 03/12/2025There is a hole in the market for realistic living arrangements for the times: apartments in cities designed for adult roommates - bedrooms don’t share walls and separate bathroom per bedroom. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 02/12/2025Why do men always have the TV at yelling level of volume? 000
Reposted by @birchface.bsky.socialMerriam-Webster @merriam-webster.com · 19/11/2025Autocorrect has become our worst enema. 329124522470
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 14/11/2025Can we make reflective clothing really cool? I feel like that is a small shift that would be surprisingly helpful to humanity. Too many pedestrians dress like ninjas and are hard to see when it is dark or foggy or rainy. 000
birchface.bsky.social @birchface.bsky.social · 13/11/202590% of times when AI is used is literally just a waste of time and water that nobody asked for. 000
