Reposted by Kenneth Freeman
We really do need a wet winter for southern England… some reservoirs are now below 20% of capacity
Severe drought declared: www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
bbc.co.uk
Severe drought declared in parts of southern England
Reservoir levels continue to drop after a hot summer and less September rain than normal.
![1 ‘There follows a public safety message from the Ministry of Taps.’
2 [Show a moustachioed man in a white coat, standing next to a sink with two taps.]
Hello.
3 Here are two beautiful, British taps.
4 Don’t they make you proud? Cold and hot, divided in modesty, as God intends!
5 But in recent years, more and more Britons are using ‘mixer taps’ - a highly addictive form of foreign tap.
6 The great British tradition of washing one’s hands via a weird sort of hot-to-cold dance is under threat. [Show someone doing this dance]
7 The 'mixer' is a gateway tap.
One minute you're dabbling with a dual faucet.
Next thing you know, you're 'dancing with the fisherman's hose'.
[Show one of those big bendy fishmonger’s hoses that people have these days]
8 See here the brain of a healthy, two-tap using Briton:
[Show diagram of a brain with two thirds of it devoted to ‘WASHING HANDS’]
9. And this... is the brain of a ‘mixhead’:
[Show same brain diagram, but the Washing Hands section is replaced with ‘FOREIGN THOUGHTS’]
Remember: Mixing can lead to foreignness and fishmongery.
BRITONS: DON’T MIX YOUR TAPS
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreieture4qdimgth6xwflmcjqmeilo22xxl67afmzom4e3wfrtw6ci4)
![[We see a close up of a young white male, tanned, white teeth, coiffed hair clearly an influencer on social media. It is an image such as you see when social media posts are shown on the news. In the corner of the screen is named a location: DUBAI. He is staring slightly off-camera for several silent panels of the comic strip. His eyes move slightly. He is having a thought.]
From off-screen a newsreader’s commentary comes:
NEWSREADER:
Extraordinary images here
of an expat in Dubai
[The influencer’s eybrows raise slightly]
…Having their first ever geopolitical thought.
[CUT TO a BBC news scene. The BBC newsreader CLIVE MYRIE is talking to an interviewee next to the screen showing the social media influencer’s face. The interviewee’s name is David Jones].
CLIVE MYRIE:
To explain the significance of this moment we’re joined by David Jones, our Expat Thoughts correspondent
DAVID JONES:
Clive, this is momentous
It was caught on film at the end of an Instagram post titled: ‘Dubai Is Brilliant’.
[Pointing at the screen, the influencer’s expression still the same]
You can clearly see in the eyebrows here, the dawning realisation that there *might* be something in the world beyond his dickhead self.
It marks a *huge* departure from all the Dubai Expat’s previous thoughts.
CLIVE MYRIE:
Which are…?
DAVID JONES:
You've Got To Get Yourself Out Here Mate, Everything Is So Clean, I Don't Have To Pay Taxes,
I Am Incurious As To Why I Do Not Have To Pay Taxes, and Spa.
CLIVE MYRIE:
And might we see an expansion of these new Thoughts in coming days?
DAVID JONES:
I think we can expect to see:
“I Deserve To Be Airlifted By A Country I Pay No Tax To”
CLIVE MYRIE:
Mmm.
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreibu6vuc7ofetq5hla3gfcknocotbfl3yk2ajczk6qfd2hnjxrav6q)
