iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

me.and my boyfriend DO argue he tell me to shut up and I say no fuck u

110

I can feel the anger, sadness, insecurity, everything, slowly turning back into that dejected numbing acceptance that this is all ill ever be and all ill ever feel and it makes me wanna drive my car over the edge of a bridge

000

like how many times will I scream and fucking cry for someone to give a shit before I learn im only hurting myself worse

100

like what's the point in even trying ill never be allowed to be happy for more than a day at a time before im reminded of everything that's wrong with me and how little I matter to anyone and as much as I'd like to pretend it doesn't hurt, it makes me fucking vomit every time im reminded

100

I feel like I'm being fucking punched and stabbed constantly it's like I'm only allowed to be happy for a certain amount of time before I have to be punished again

000

i think the last 2 days have rly convinced to me just kill myself like wow

300

my pillow case came off my pillow:(

000

I'm genuinely considering getting myself admitted to a psych ward. I can't keep trying to k word myself every time smthn mildly upsetting happens

100

I should've learned my lesson with my last friend group to just keep my mouth shut

100

i genuinely don't know how much more of it I can take. it's no one's fault but my own i can't control this but it's so overwhelming and fucking painful dude just bc I for some reason can't just fucking fix myself lmao??

100

connor @billlyloomis.bsky.social · 14/12/2024

I will never be happy i don't know why I can't just accept that. I'll think I'm finally starting to get better then get reminded there's no getting better for me. I just get my impossible hopes up then get mad at others and push everyone away when I'm let down despite it being my own fault

100

bitches love my mustache this time I'm

connor @billlyloomis.bsky.social · 14/12/2024

something something. somethingsomethingsomething. yk

210

connor @billlyloomis.bsky.social · 13/12/2024

i like drawing gore a normal amount

connor @billlyloomis.bsky.social · 06/12/2024

getting genuinely emotional that I won't be able to buy this

connor @billlyloomis.bsky.social · 03/12/2024

just got turned on watching someone get stabbed it's actually so over for me

030

connor @billlyloomis.bsky.social · 02/12/2024

yeah i think I've taken about all I can handle in one day

000

connor @billlyloomis.bsky.social · 02/12/2024

- guy who will never learn

100

connor @billlyloomis.bsky.social · 01/12/2024

might fuck around and actually kms

100

connor @billlyloomis.bsky.social · 27/11/2024

thank u reddit wrapped for not exposing all the porn I watched that was very kind of you

020

connor @billlyloomis.bsky.social · 27/11/2024

just got blasted with Nefarious cravings good afternoon my nsfw account

going insane bc I've read every stuilly fic on ao3 so now I'm just rereading them all </3

030

whatever something something billy loomis face down in a pillow and getting fucked from behind

120

I wish I wasn't so angry and insecure it kinda ruins everything

words aren't enough i need to torture you with my own hands

110

nvm i feel like I'm being tortured

when it's time to sabotage instead of just asking for reassurance bc I can't ask for reassurance every fucking day

like i can't even describe what is making me feel this way anymore. I know it's doubt and fear and insecurity but like??? it's giving me a headache it's so fucking overwhelming

110

waking up and deciding if I am going to be horny or suicidal today

connor @billlyloomis.bsky.social · 24/11/2024

I don't even know what's wrong but I feel so fucking horrible. it's like every little thing feeds into my fear and doubt I don't even know if I'm capable of feeling normal anymore

120

I am going to turn so unbelievably evil

connor @billlyloomis.bsky.social · 24/11/2024

the type of misery that makes ur stomach chest and head hurt maybe I'm actually physically ill

connor @billlyloomis.bsky.social · 24/11/2024

feeling so horrible mentally it's making my stomach hurt