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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx

@bigass.bsky.social
5.5K followers 1.6K following 125 posts

reply guying my way to heaven twitch.tv/xxxcrazymikexxx

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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 09/12/2025
My submission for #JingleGameJam2025 -- If you can't beat them (rods), join them (rods). also youre santa claus fifteengames.itch.io/kris
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 11/11/2025
New blog post! How I used ChatGPT to automate my buzzer, and the perils of doing so... aldenhallak.com/blog/posts/a...
aldenhallak.com
Automating My Buzzer: Learning Hardware with ChatGPT
How I automated my apartment buzzer using ESP32s, ChatGPT, and a willingness to add resistors until things worked.
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 04/08/2025
Made some enemies on the internet with my fish drawing website. Postmortem of some flaws they used to try to ruin it: aldenhallak.com/blog/posts/d...
aldenhallak.com
DrawAFish.com Postmortem — Aug 3, 2025 Incident
A blameful postmortem of how my viral HackerNews project got compromised by legacy passwords, missing auth, and the perils of vibe coding.
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 26/07/2025
Built fish tinder so I could moderate fish really fast
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 25/07/2025
people love my site!!! :))))
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 25/07/2025
Made this cute little website over the past month in my spare time. So many fish have been drawn!!! No idea where they're all coming from. A real field of dreams moment :)
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 26/04/2025
Women hold up half the sky. Other half? Trans and nonbinary folx
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 14/04/2025
Nothing more humiliating than when a motion activated thing doesn't work . Waving multiple times. Thinking Maybe this wave will do it. Nope . Hanging myself in the workplace break room I guess
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 10/02/2025
shane gillis in the bud light commercial as an apology for hunter
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 06/02/2025
lowkey a sneeze feels so good when you don't have a mid coworker in your ears saying bless you
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 03/01/2025
do u think guys that are into pegging think that every guy is into pegging and that they're the only ones open about it
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 21/12/2024
September 10th 2001 Haiku: I Sure Hope Nothing Happens To The Twin Towers Tomorrow Morning
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 18/12/2024
[Three Guys Figuring Out Their Role In Their Choir] (guy with high voice): yeah i think ill be an alto (guy with low voice): bass for me! or maybe a tenor (guy who's about to get a ton of pussy): i'm doing the beatboxing
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 18/12/2024
must feel cool as fuck to be the guy beatboxing in the a capella group
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 16/12/2024
Waterpark
Going on a big slide is very scary especially when the slide has a trap door at the top and so as I climbed the many stairs to reach the top of the 140 foot drop my heart began to pump and my anxiety spiked which was not good because I was already so anxious about everything because my friend had died and a guy I knew shot a CEO and a girl I loved wanted to fuck someone else and I felt the fragility of life very intensely and when I got to the top of the slide I felt like my heart was going to pound out of my chest and when I stood on the trap door I felt like I wanted to claw my way out of the glass contraption until it gave out from under me and the fast water and adrenaline washed away all my worries and I was at the bottom of the slide feeling fine.
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 15/12/2024
Cupcakes
I went to a White Elephant party where the host was a very nice woman who overprepared and had too much food so she insisted I take some with me so I took a plate of homemade cupcakes and went to the next birthday with the intention of saying I made the cupcakes myself. 
On the way to the birthday party I took the train and began to regret the whole endeavor because the lady who gave me the cupcakes neglected to give me nothing but a paper plate and I felt worry as the cupcakes were exposed to the air of new york and the subway. On the way up the subway steps I tripped. I kept my left hand in the air as each individual stair jutted into various parts of my body - thighs knees shins chest etc. The cupcakes stayed on the plate and managed to be transferred safely from my hand to the floor and nobody stepped on them and they remained as undamaged as cupcakes exposed to the underground could be. 

A stranger helped me up and another offered their bag to hold the cupcakes. It was a kind suggestion but I was only 3 minutes away at this point and the cupcakes had already been through the worst so I declined. As I walked up the stairs two drunk women behind me congratulated me and told me that I had a crazy story to tell at the party I was going to and I was confused because I don’t think a story about almost dropping cupcakes could really be that interesting.
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 14/12/2024
Nice Jacket
I was on the subway riding back from my work holiday party wearing a midnight blue blazer and pants with a black turtleneck. I was looking snazzy which I know because a pretty girl at the work party pulled me aside and said she liked my mullet. I had gotten it cut 1 week prior by a man named AJ and I guess he did a good job. She told me her name and I remembered but now I forget. I wanted to ask her to fall in love with me but I didn’t want to get fired so I left.

On the subway back I saw a pretty girl with dark clothes and complexion. Her boots were thick and her neck had a lot of chains and jewelry on it and so did her pants. I looked at her because I thought she was pretty and then she made eye contact and smiled and I looked down. I was preparing to talk to her but was only a few stops away before I had the courage to open my mouth. There was a guy in front of me and he had a nice jacket with painted stars and faces and words and also painted nails. I said “nice jacket” and he said thank you and I asked him where he got it and if he painted the jacket himself and he said he did in high school. I understood this to be a while away as the jacket was old but I realized that I did not know this man's age and high school could have been yesterday. We struck up a conversation about what he did and what I did and I felt the overwhelming urge to tell him about my friend who died yesterday and how I’ve been at the verge of tears this whole time and I missed him dearly and of all the things I should have said but the train hit Morgan which was my stop right after I told him I was a software engineer and so I left with all the words and tears stuck in the back of my throat. 

I considered taking the train in the opposite direction and just riding it back and forth talking to people. I didn’t and went to bed.
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 14/12/2024
Lentil Soup
When I was a kid my dad would make lentil soup every day for me to take to school. I enjoyed the taste of it but my dad was frugal and so the lentil soup was always in a tiny re-used takeout container which was cold and would frequently leak. I hated it when food leaked in my backpack. When I was a kid at the YMCA I had a banana as part of my lunch and it ended up in the bottom of my backpack and it was everywhere and everything I had was covered in banana. The banana was very ripe and mushy and sickly sweet and my papers were ruined and the backpack never recovered. I feared food in my backpack from then on but continued to bring the lentil soup to lunch, wrapped in 10 layers of saran wrap. I am lucky to have had a dad who would pack it for me
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 13/12/2024
pushed some old lady down the stairs and now everyone's really mad at me
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 13/12/2024
Tinder Match
Tinder Match

I was walking home at 3 am and opened my phone and started swiping. I wanted to match with someone and I wanted to meet up with them and I wanted for them to come over. Emily matches with me -- it’s a girl who I think is very pretty. I say “what are you doing at 3am” and she said “sleeping” and I say “come over” and she says “no.”

“But we can talk for a bit” and so we talk for a bit. I ask her what she does for work. She tells me. I ask her some more questions. She tells me about her family and her childhood and I tell her about mine. I ask her about a stuffed bear she has in one of her photos - she’s had it since she was young. She asks me if I had a stuffed animal. “One.” I say. “His name was Dechko and he was a Rabbit.” 

“Was?” she asks. “What happened to him?”

“I loved him to bits.”

“Aww :)” 

…

“I’m heading to sleep now, let’s talk more in the morning.”

“Goodnight Alden :)”

Next morning she unmatched me.
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 13/12/2024
might start posting autofiction to bluesky
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 09/12/2024
guys the shooter and i were instagram mutuals and my phone is blowing up how do i leverage this for clout
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 08/12/2024
when the white boy lowkey has drip
me as a kid
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 06/12/2024
me when i'm outside of a hotel at 6:45 am on a wednesday
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 05/12/2024
why cant gay guys just say "you look nice"
handsome man in the mirror text message: reads "You're looking at the camera like you're gonna drop a load in me"
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 05/12/2024
me (still working on 2023 OKRs) walking to my performance review during layoff season
screenshot of the ceo who got shot a few seconds before it happens
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 05/12/2024
i love when someone's weaker than me at the gym it's like "ok twink"
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 05/12/2024
everyone who has less listen minutes than me is a loser and everyone who has more is a freak
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 05/12/2024
it's so fun when someone has a picture of them at a subway station bc it's like "i've been there!!!"
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 05/12/2024
i used to always say "i'm going to kill myself" like at the drop of a hat. and then i'd say it so often that i'd just be lying in bed and it would be repeating in my head so i don't say it anymore but it feels really good to say like scratching an itch
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 04/12/2024
on instagram liking all the spotify wrapped stories because i love my friends and cherish every thing they choose to share with me
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 04/12/2024
lowkey i was spitting
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 04/12/2024
not going to explicitly say why i was looking this up but you can probably guess
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 04/12/2024
running for president so it makes it illegal to say that you want to kill me
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 02/12/2024
[caveman town hall] Grug (inventor): And that why Grug Invent Wheel. For grain transport Brug (hunter): No need grain. Hunt for food. Grug Bad Inventor Crug (smart): Hunt food no good. Hunt food go away. Grug good inventor Brian (weird nipples): Maybe Grug invent Shirt? like to wear over chest
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 02/12/2024
My DMs are so good now
bot offering to let me join the illuminati
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 02/12/2024
confuses me when i ask someone their religion and they say smth like "half jewish half christian."
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 02/12/2024
i'd pardon my son even if he killed someone.... like that's bestie
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 01/12/2024
who up squirting they cucumber
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Reposted by ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx
ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 01/12/2024
spending lots of time with a millennial which means i now use reaction gifs and bluesky
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Reposted by ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx
ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 29/11/2024
liberal friend (really upset about the election): i cant believe trump won. we have to do something about it leftist friend (smug): i told you this would happen. now's the time to organize the working class centrist friend (anti-trump) (trying to bring back the flash mob): we should do a flash mob
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 01/12/2024
Love making friends on this app!
conversation with a bot
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 01/12/2024
created a bot to follow random people on bluesky and now my feed is total garbage
dead dove do not eat
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 01/12/2024
rabbit rabbit rabbit gang let's get this bread
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 01/12/2024
spending lots of time with a millennial which means i now use reaction gifs and bluesky
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Reposted by ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx
Mr. Before Turning the Gun on Himself (ALEX) @gayhorse420.bsky.social · 15/11/2024
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 30/11/2024
interesting how this guys subconscious kind of deeply understands the classic themes behind zombie movies
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ttv/xxxcrazymikexxx @bigass.bsky.social · 30/11/2024
apparently today was "black friday." what's next, chinese monday? follow me on bluesky for more hilarious content such as that!
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