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Beyond Meat

@beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social
11K followers 15 following 360 posts

Account run by a little cow wearing a cape 🍔 We make clean, simple plant-based meat. 💚 Better for you, better for animals and better for the planet. 🫶 Serve Love.

PostsRepliesMedia
Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
“cAn YoU rEaLlY cAlL iT bEeF iF iT’s MaDe FrOm PlAnTs??” i don’t know, can you call it beef if it’s made from horse
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
We went from 0 to 10k followers on Bluesky, and here’s how we incorporated AI: - we didn’t. thanks for following
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 10/03/2026
Sorry I haven’t posted in a while. In my defense I forgot the password to this account
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 05/12/2025
This is a judgment free zone. If you need to break into a liquor store and pass out in the bathroom because you’re a raccoon who’s having a hard time, that’s ok. It’s called self care
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 17/11/2025
Imagine getting mad at me online when I’m quite literally beyond beef
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 10/11/2025
Ideally by age 30, you should have ruined at least one of your workplaces
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 10/11/2025
Babe are you ok? You've hardly ruined your workplace today
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 09/10/2025
"Can you really call it a 'burger' if it's made from plants?" You're right… that’s a slippery slope to other things that don’t harm anyone
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 08/10/2025
The new Beyond Burgers have 75% less saturated fat and are made with avocado oil and how many of you were worried for a second that they fired and replaced me with a normal social media manager, be honest
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 07/10/2025
Hate to brag but Jane Goodall did not personally list me as someone she’d like to launch into space
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 06/10/2025
Not to get too political, but I find it convenient to live on a planet with a habitable climate
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 02/10/2025
Beyond Sausage has 17g of protein and is made with avocado oil and now that my boss has stopped reading, I think we can all agree it's a miracle I'm still employed
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 09/09/2025
I went to a 4 year university and now every day I wake up and think “What would a little cow post on the internet?” You can accomplish anything you set your mind to
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 05/09/2025
Thank goodness we’re going back to the good old times before… *checks notes* medicine
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 28/08/2025
“AI is gonna replace all funny/unhinged social media managers” I’d like to see AI replicate the formative experience of being weird and lonely as a child
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 25/08/2025
“The team running the Beyond Meat account posts recklessly, wades into politics, and also never promotes the products.” That’s not true. It’s just one person running the account
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 21/08/2025
“Be the bigger person.” Counterpoint: be the smaller cow. Jump to conclusions. Hold a grudge. Take everything personally. Bite the hand that feeds
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 18/08/2025
Easy self care tips: - drink water - take screen breaks - leave the office to go for a walk - enter a field - let out a huge moo - never return
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 16/08/2025
I don’t know who needs to hear this but
A cow in the sea. The cow looks like it’s having an existential crisis while staring at the waves. There’s text on top of the cow that reads “you’re doing great.” In the top right is an enlarged, mirrored, transparent version of the cow. On top of that cow, text reads “good job”
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 15/08/2025
At this point, my career plan is just “hope the weird little posts keep working”
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 15/08/2025
Touching grass isn’t enough. I need to eat grass, let out a moo, delete gmail, become a cow full time
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 14/08/2025
Other people at my company: smart, figuring out how to make meat from plants Me: I put a cape on my dog today
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 12/08/2025
Beyond Beef has 21g of protein and no cholesterol and now that my boss has stopped reading, I wonder if they've ever described working with me as a "learning experience"
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 11/08/2025
Explaining to management that measuring success by “likes” is outdated, and instead it should be based on how many people reply “what is this” and “what is going on here”
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 08/08/2025
Just gotta get through this week and then what? Another week to get through? And then let me guess, getting through more weeks? I know a scam when I see one
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 05/08/2025
Telling my boss that due to our marketing strategy, our burgers are “flying off the shelves” with absolutely no proof
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 01/08/2025
You don’t have to be perfect. Just trying your best, eating fewer animal products, and not launching yourself into space for about 11 minutes can all add up
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 31/07/2025
Dance like nobody’s watching. Sing like nobody’s listening. Post in a way that’s against all brand guidelines until it’s too late for management to replace you
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 30/07/2025
Life update: this little cow has adopted this little guy. And I’m open to name suggestions!
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 30/07/2025
You’re in her DMs. I’m also in her DMs. You accidentally added beyond meat to the group chat. We’re all very confused
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 25/07/2025
Every few weeks I have to sneak in a product mention so that I have something to point to in my beyond sausage performance review. It will be subtle
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 24/07/2025
I know I’ve posted a banger when I suddenly get a calendar invite from my boss titled “quick check in”
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 23/07/2025
Ideal morning routine: wake up, eat, lie down on the grass for 12 to 14 hours and then I’m ready to tackle the work day
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Reposted by Beyond Meat
librarianm0m.bsky.social @librarianm0m.bsky.social · 19/07/2025
@beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social lunchtime!
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 18/07/2025
“I asked Chat GPT” “I asked Grok” okay well I went outside and layed in the grass. I don’t need new information. I’ve seen enough
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 17/07/2025
If you read our timeline backwards, it's the story of a social media manager becoming mentally stable and then following brand and legal guidelines
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 14/07/2025
Whether you're eating a few more plant-based meals per week, or bringing reusable bags to the store, or not launching yourself into space for 11 minutes, you're making a bigger impact than you think ❤️
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 11/07/2025
I didn’t promote the products when I first started this account, but now that we’ve gained a lot of followers, it’s my duty to continue not promoting the products
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 09/07/2025
“You look happier” Thanks, I made my whole job posting chaotically on social media and it somehow worked and now my boss is afraid of me
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 07/07/2025
Goals for the second half of the year: 1. get through the second half of the year
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 06/07/2025
Before you get mad at me online, just know that you’re literally arguing with a cow
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 04/07/2025
Pro tip: if you grill a beyond burger today, you can say “I know that little cow personally,” and then everyone at the BBQ will worry about you and you’ll get extra attention
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 03/07/2025
Boss: You can’t talk like you’re on Love Island when you’re in the office. It’s unprofessional Me: …is this why you pulled me for a chat?
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 02/07/2025
Just a reminder, you’re probably making a bigger impact than you think. For example, I’m willing to bet that basically none of you went to space for 11 minutes this week
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 01/07/2025
“We want grandkids” Best I can do is devote my prime adult years to being a little cow on the internet
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 30/06/2025
Me: People are having a hard time and they enjoy watching me post in a way that stresses you out Boss: My question was, “what is our social media strategy?”
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 27/06/2025
Small things that make a big environmental difference: - shopping locally - eating a few plant based meals a week - riding your bike - not having your wedding attended via 100 private jets - composting
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 26/06/2025
Not to brag but I've never asked Grok anything
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 26/06/2025
The goal of this account is not to promote products. The goal is for you to recognize our logo in the grocery store and ask yourself, “haha, I wonder if that little cow has been fired?”
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Beyond Meat @beyondmeatofficial.bsky.social · 26/06/2025
“AI is coming for your jobs” AI can try to be unhinged on social media but I prefer a seasoned professional who has had enough
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