iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 3h

Hey, it's my wife and my anniversary too! Happy anniversary, anniversary twin!

damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 3h

On the chicken-or-egg question of whether being a more instinctively violent person makes you more likely to play football or whether playing football make you more likely to be violent, the answer appears to be yes.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 4h

It might do a full out stutter step after eating this. It's quite the artery clogger!

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 4h

Side-note: A quick Google of "why does German chocolate cake have coconut in it?" just revealed that German Chocolate Cake was actually invented in Texas. Everything we know is a lie!

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 5h

But wait: There's cake! This lunch should come with a pillow.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 5h

I don't usually share the work cafeteria lunch but today they have an Octoberfest themed "Schnitzel Bowl" as an option and it has to weigh like 10 pounds. (It is very good though.)

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 6h

There's an insane number of shows with "Yellowstone" in the title of which I have watched not a single second.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 19h

Yeah, but it could have been so much worse considering.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 19h

Friend's bachelor party. Started off at a Fogo de Chao, walked all the way across NYC, got into a strip club and it all immediately wanted out. Honestly, it was a pretty nice shitter. They had mints.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 19h

I wonder to what extent the producers for Survivor prioritize filling a certain number of slots with people so unusually annoying they are guaranteed to drive everyone around them crazy and creating tribes with obvious built-in personality conflicts.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 20h

...7500 people and one bathroom?!?!?

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 21h

Hopefully you all don't hit any similar issues! I've still got to figure out some kind of long term solution, but at least the immediate problem has been worked around.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 21h

Thank you. It hit me mid-last week how incredibly stressed and wound up I was that my friend wasn't going to be able to get in because I couldn't transfer her the tickets and that this month of calls had done nothing to rectify the problem. I am honestly so relieved right now that she got in.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 21h

Thank God it worked because I spent a month of stress, anger, and frustration dealing with Ticketmaster and they gave not a single shit that they instituted a block on transfers on my account for no reason and have set up no procedure for removing it. Anyway, fuck those guys to hell.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 21h

This weekend I logged into the Ticketmaster app using my credentials on my wife's phone so she could pull up the Olivia Rodrigo tickets. And tonight, my friend logged into the app using my credentials on her phone. It was the only solution we came up with short of her taking my phone to Richmond.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 21h

A month later, I still cannot transfer tickets. No one has contacted me. No ticket raised to higher authorities has been answered or handled. No one will give me a number for actual support. They have no way to transfer you to someone. You just have to wait. I'm still waiting.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 21h

I am told I should try changing my phone number. That the block *may* be attached to my cell number. Their solution for their problem is for me to change the only phone number I have - and that I have had for 25 years, the number my friends, family, and work folks have - because that *might* work.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 21h

No one ever contacts me. When I get through again the ticket is still open and they can do nothing else. When I get through again the ticket is closed and nothing has been done. I will be contacted in 3-5 business days. 2 weeks later, again, still nothing.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 21h

I am eventually told that for some reason a block has been placed on my account's ability to transfer tickets - that my attempt to buy my daughter Gracie Abrams tickets triggered something - and that only a third party can lift it. I will be contacted back in 3-5 business days.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 21h

Over 4 weeks, I talk to 7 different people, open 3 different "tickets" to get the issue addressed, get walked through the same stupid troubleshooting routine that doesn't work, and spend, I shit you not, a total of 8 hours on the phone with them.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 21h

A few weeks ago, though, I tried to transfer a Mike D ticket. No dice. Then an Angine de Poitrine ticket. Nope. I have 2 tickets for Olivia Rodgrigo for my wife and daughter. Try to transfer to my wife... won't let me. With 4 weeks to go until Phish I contact Ticketmaster.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 21h

I got four 2-day passes. They cost like $1200 total. No worries - she sent me the money. For several weeks, I try to transfer her the tickets. I receive an error every time. I assume there is a lockdown on transfer for the time being.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 21h

A friend really wanted to go to the Phish concert happening tonight in Richmond. It's a small venue, it's in driving distance, and she's become a massive fan and is really feeling it. So she put in for mail order and a bunch of us put in too to help maximize the chances. Only I hit for tickets.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 21h

You may remember about a month back I had a major issue with Stubhub. Well strap in boys and girls. It's time to talk about Even Worse Stubhub., a.k.a. Ticketmaster.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

There was singing and performances and memories and some really lovely speeches and a lot of just talking and checking in with each other. I hope no one has to do that for me any time soon, but I also hope when my time comes people will want to. R.I.P. Talia. You planted a lot of love in the world.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Caught up with lots of folks I hadn't seen in ages there and it was so nice, but obviously sad and bittersweet that it took something like her passing to bring us all together again. It's amazing how you can see some people for the first time in 30 years and just pick right back up.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Been in a contemplative mood this week. Went to a celebration of life this weekend for a theater friend who passed away anout a year ago after a long struggle with cancer. She was my age and a lovely and talented person.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

[Insert Jonah Hill excited screaming meme here]

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

"We are holding a lot of people who you failed to live and take care of." That's a hell of a line.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Wish I was there for it! But I am having a good weekend anyway, so thanks!

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

It's still weird hearing them sing "God Save the *King.*"

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Saw Josh Johnson's Comedy Band Camp tonight and damn what a fun time. Music, dance, a drum off, and some great stand-up comedy. Josh is calm, confident, and conversational, but he added in some surprisingly fun physical humor. Started strong, cruised a bit in the middle, ended strong. Much fun.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

I went with Trapper in my reskeet, but I'd be amiss if I didn't call out one of my favorite KITH bits: the gliding opening camera of Brain Candy passing through the "I don't speak German" psychoanalyst and landing on the incredible first Danzig-inspired Grivo scene. They may not love it, but I do.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

I've heard this song by sombr a couple times now and I like it but it's kind of wild we've already entered the "Gen Z mines the classic sound of Keane and old Coldplay" era. youtu.be/ofywN3NgGqY?...

youtu.be

sombr - My Body Isn't Ready (official video)

YouTube video by sombr

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Another excellent production from Signature Theatre. Does it hold up to the fantastic Jonathan Goff Broadway Merrily? No. But it hits more than enough moments and heights to be a worthwhile addition to any theatergoers collection of Merrily We Roll Alongs.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Just seeing some "I am not excited about these shows" type posts and hearing the same from some folks I know who are hitting some of them. I am also seeing some "I am so jacked for these!" posts, so there's some YMMV here, but I do know people skipping out of pure Phish & phinance phatigue.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

One of my favorite things about Phish fans is that we can simultaneously believe that it was better back when Phish used to play a hundred shows a year and also believe that Phish is playing too many shows.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Every organization thinks *you* are supposed to be infinitely flexible and available to cater to the dates they set and any last minute change in scheduling they decide to make but *they* are incapable of accommodating anybody else's conflicts or taking other known schedules into consideration.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

I think it's terrible that the Republican Party continues to support the death penalty, but also terrible that they believe in a life penalty and think it's fine to torture, imprison, or otherwise penalize harmless, normal people just for being different from them or living their lives differently.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

I know the Spree! A band so big they could hide a St. Vincent in them virtually unnoticed for years!

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Man, Dave Matthews Band *and* these guys? That's at least 30 people total on stage.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

This was an era when bands as communes/collectives was like just a thing. Like... every other band had 15 people in it. Arcade Fire, Polyphonic Spree, these guys. LCD Soundsystem had either 15 people or 1 person and no one's sure even now.

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damn i wish i was your lawyer @bermanmatt.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

I'm confused by everything in this article. People don't remember this song or this band or this style? Who are these "people"? Sure, it's cringingly earnest, but so what? Weren't these guys kinda just Rusted Root Pt. 2? Beats the hell out of that Hey There Delilah song. www.vice.com/en/article/m...

vice.com

An Obituary for Edward Sharpe, the Magnetic Zeros, and Earnestness

As its latest menacing wave of virality peters out, we celebrate the most cringe artifact from the most cringe period in human history.

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