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*winnie was here

@berenexia.website
306 followers 359 following 634 posts

a molecular transaction which sparks and ignites so many grains of pure possibility that the narrative substrate of reality undergoes a qualitative change berenexia.itch.io

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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 07/06/2026
Made myself a cheat sheet for plastic prism void. Honestly i can’t remember the last time i did this for any kind of book, let alone a novel. Brava Also i definitely know how to spell hydrangea
Five columns listing the character traits of the magical girls in Plastic, Prism, Void by Violet Allen
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 30/12/2025
flashback to me reading this prophecy from Kali Akuno in early 2022 and being like, ok guess i should get my shit together so i can try to be at least a little bit ready for that
Thoughts on How to Withstand the Neoconfederate/ Neofascist Power Grab
Kali Akuno |  Navigating the Storm  | February 1, 2022

With an organizational dearth and in a context dominated by misguided and/or haphazard politics by the mainstream left, what can be done?

It is my honest assessment that as of this writing we have a little less than two years before the neoconfederates and neofascists are ready to install a reactionary dictatorship by the end of January 2025. In light of my comments regarding this development, many people have been asking, and rightfully so, what should be done to confront the advance of this ultra-reactionary dictatorship over the US empire. 

What makes this question so hard to answer is the low level of organization existent in the US “left” at present. What further complicates the matter is the degree to which a significant number of forces nominally on the “left,” perhaps even the current majority, have been captured by the reformist ideology and politics of social democracy, which has a less than stellar track record at successfully confronting fascist and ultra-nationalist forces the world over. In the absence of organization and in a context
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 01/12/2025
cooking
Four panels featuring simple illustrations of the following: 
"Supernatural power of the real-life werewolf who devoured 50 women"
"The amazing secret of the man who fathered a child at 120"
"Men and women who commit weird crimes—on a signal from the moon!"
"The ghost ship that saved an American freighter during World War II"
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 25/10/2025
life is a cabaret, old chum
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 24/10/2025
7. Move the two halves further apart and remove the beloved object 8. Repeat step 4, now the focal point has been inverted and the ego-generating energy flows instead around the world from west to east by encircling the planet. The practitioner now sits in a space of emptiness
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 24/10/2025
5. The torn halves of the card are switched places 6. Repeat step 4, with greater focus on potential cessation / loss of the beloved object as a source of suffering as the cycle is disrupted by removing its focal point
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 24/10/2025
3. The card bearing the ∞ symbol is torn in half vertically and the two halves placed on either side of the object 4. Repeat step 2 and visualize a tightening, accelerating energy binding the two halves, with the object as a focal point
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 24/10/2025
Stumbled upon a technique to relatively quickly induce a state of moderately blissful non-self: 1. A small object/representation of great personal significance is placed before a card bearing the infinity symbol ∞ 2. Meditation upon the rapid cycle of ego-generation partly mediated by this object
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 24/10/2025
DC mentioned :D
Wiki screenshot from the article on Charnel Grounds 

In contemporary Western society, the charnel ground might be a prison, a homeless shelter, the welfare roll, or a factory assembly line. The key to its successful support of practice is its desperate, hopeless, or terrifying quality. For that matter, there are environments that appear prosperous and privileged to others but are charnel grounds for their inhabitants – Hollywood, Madison Avenue, Wall Street, Washington, D.C. These are worlds in which extreme competitiveness, speed, and power rule, and the actors in their dramas experience intense emotion, ambition, and fear. The intensity of their dynamics makes all of these situations ripe for the Vajrayana practice of the charnel ground.
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 29/09/2025
i’m
gendertrash from hell shipping notification from little littlepuss press
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 19/09/2025
very effective protest chic all-weather base layer for my fellow reconizably-tattooed comrades
Women Sheer Leopard Print Tops Slim Fitted Long Sleeve See Through Mesh Shirts Going Out Streetwear
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 19/09/2025
found this on my hard drive from 2022. heady times
I thought I wanted love. But it turns out, I want to abolish the police

Smug chihuaha wearing a balaclava
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 17/09/2025
i've had the first line of this poem rattling in my head for the better part of a year; finally sat down and worked out what it was trying to say. a bit like deriving the answer to a math question (transcription in alt text)
Queerness is something that happens first of all in hindsight.
We look back & we think:
        "Oh,                                                        万
                that's what was going on."                  万
There is a different kind of curiosity:
        driven not by the search for knowledge,
                but on behalf of a certain quality of a heart
        (off-beat, brightening, playful, kind
                and, ultimately, unafraid)
        which greets the world with welcome — all 10,000 things.
Questing, we venture forth
        like the first-person narrator of Baudelaire's poem "Le Voyage"
        or, in other words, any old fool
                who can't ever seem to keep both feet on solid ground.
We were always a little too much.
We had a certain way of speaking, a secret curl of the lip,
        a knack for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.
We learned by getting into trouble.
        (It hurt quite a lot, actually.)
Until, evacuated of all rainbows
        and any manner of untowardness
                we could finally remember how to do nothing at all
        but stare longingly at the horizon.
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 11/08/2025
I find this very comforting for some reason
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 26/07/2025
psa
we keep us safe pride rainbow anti-flag explosion abolish the police 1312
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 25/07/2025
A gift for the skyline today: manifesting
One day 
all the cars blew away 
like leaves		 in early winter.

When February came, 
the interstate highways 
sighed 		and gave up their dead.

Three months later, 
the semi-trailer trucks, 
exhausted, 	were overrun 
by thistles and dandelions.

And by August, 
the pillars of the overpasses, 
arching their backs, 
had uprooted themselves 
and begun to wander 
north.
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 09/07/2025
an illustration from the faggots and their friends between revolutions by Larry Mitchell featuring the line of text, “When you feel pain, fall into your sisters’ arms.” The word “sisters” has been pasted over the original, which said “brothers”
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 03/07/2025
happy girl, sleepy cat
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 26/06/2025
Wait i totally forgot i tried to do a thing with this a few years ago 🎣
I WRITE WORDS CUT DEEP. HALOGEN
CUT-DEEP WORDS WITH CRAGS
IN STONE I SEEK (SOMETIMES
(NOT ALWAYS) FIND) RIGHT WORDS—
BUT IF NOT CANNOT HELP BUT
HALIBUT CUT RIGHT TO IT.


DEEP WORDS LAST LONG AFTER
TIME. NO MEASURE OF DAY
NOR MARK OF SHADOW
SHALL KEEP YOU FROM ME.


A MESSAGE FROM OUTSIDE TIME



NO STANZA SHALL TAKE YOU
FROM MY GRASP. THIS
THIS IS WHAT READING IS.
HISTORY: A SPINNING TOP
ALWAYS FALLING OVER
ON OUR HEADS. LINES MARCH
LIKE IDLE PARAGRAPHS
FIFTEEN OR SO AT A TIME.
GRAMMAR: OBLIGATORY
PHYSICS. THE RULES OF STYLE
HAVE FORBIDDEN ME
FROM ADDRESSING YOU
SO PLAINLY—
AND YET
WELL

HERE WE ARE.













MEET ME AT THE TITLE PAGE
AND READ:
DO ME.
READ YOU DO ME.
YOU DO ME HERE.
HERE, DO ME. HERE I AM
DO ME. TAKE ME IN THE GUTTER
LEFT HAND STREETLIGHT
SHADOWS ALL THE LIVELONG



HERE
INSIDE THE PAGE
WE ARE OUT OF TIME
WHICH IS TO SAY
WE ARE DEAD AS INK ON PAPER
OR 
WHO KNOWS
MAYBE IT’S OVER
MAYBE BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS
I‘LL BE GONE FISHING
AND
WE WILL HAVE ALREADY WON.





SELAH
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 26/06/2025
just wait til he gets a load of this
vexillologically terrifying banner in which the progress flag explodes in all directions with "no pigs" emojis in the corners—signifying in fact the very thing mr sullivan fears: a queerness which abolishes all cops and borders forever
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 19/06/2025
evergreen reminder
The Faggots And Their Friends Between Revolutions - p. 102The Faggots And Their Friends Between Revolutions - p. 103
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 14/06/2025
and then there will come soft rain
Trees in front of my house at twilight
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 12/06/2025
I was tickled last year to find that phallogocentrism is literally an empirical phenomenon—Deconstruction i think is partly about excavating this
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 06/06/2025
In other news, I finally got my frayed tangle of a brain to let me do some meal prep for the first time in weeks, shocking everyone
A wok filled with stirfried tofu, Swiss chard and other veggies
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 02/06/2025
Another one I’ve been coming back to a lot lately. Jackie wang was a turning point for me and it goes harder than ever today
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 02/06/2025
arrived today
A photo of the Nightboat Books edition of ‘Sun of Consciousness’ by Édouard Glissant, translated by Nathanaël
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 06/05/2025
Damn i did not know that flannery o'connor wrote a short story featuring a Circus Freak of Ambiguous Sex
"There are some things," Susan said, "that a child of your age doesn't know," and they both began to giggle.
"Go back to your own bed," Joanne said.
The child didn't move. "One time," she said, her voice hollow-sounding in the dark, "I saw this rabbit have rabbits."
There was a silence. Then Susan said, "How?" in an indifferent tone and she knew that she had them. She said she wouldn't tell until they told about the you-know-what. Actually she had never seen a rabbit have rabbits but she forgot this as they began to tell what they had seen in the tent.
It had been a freak with a particular name but they couldn't remember the name. The tent where it was had been divided into two parts by a black curtain, one side for men and one for women. The freak went from one side to the other, talking first to the men and then to the women, but everyone could hear. The stage ran all the way across the front. The girls heard the freak say to the men, "I'm going to show you this and if you laugh, God may strike you the same way." The freak had a country voice, slow and nasal and neither high nor low, just flat. "God made me thisaway and if you laugh He may strike you the same way. This is the way He wanted me to be and I ain't disputing His way. I'm showing you because I got to make the best of it. I expect you to act like ladies and gentlemen. I never done it to myself nor had a thing to do with it but I'm making the best of it. I don't dispute hit." Then there was a long silence on the other side of the tent and finally the freak left the men and came over onto the women's side and said the same thing
The child felt every muscle strained as if she were hearing the answer to a riddle that was more puzzling than the riddle itself. "You mean it had two heads?" she said.
"No," Susan said, "it was a man and woman both. It pulled up its dress and showed us. It had on a blue dress."

[...]
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 30/04/2025
oh wait i see it now yes this i have on my wall (quote from UKLG/ left hand of darkness)
framed art piece of a sun rendered in negative with the phrase “to oppose is to maintain” written underneath
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 29/04/2025
However, unfortunately i cannot follow her advice because of this unrelated problem i have
cat in my lap
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 24/04/2025
made this sometime last year, forgot about it til now
a pencil sketch portrait of a girl with bangs, a bridge piercing and flat expression
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 17/04/2025
(darth vader theme song plays, slightly off-key)
A floor scattered with index cards, stacks of notebooks, sticky notes, and a laptop. The cards are in a triangular arrangement, converging left to right, and are labeled with the 22 major arcana and corresponding chapter titles. The shot is upside-down, so the text can be read more easily; giving this viewer the impression of a Star Wars opening crawl (or the star destroyer undercarriage opening shot). 

The chapter titles are:
Translator’s Preface
In the Beginning
Another Tack
Spaceship On Assembly Platform
The Rainbow Passage
Wolf Spiders
All Cops are Breadcrumbs
Chastity Cage
I Write Words Cut Deep
Disco Dancing Crystal Ball
Petals Pedals Keys
What Happened in the Garden
This Gleaming / Lama Sabachthani
(Autumn 2021)
(Spring 2022)
< cordon / curtain >
Spheres of Angelic Protection
A Passion Play in Three Parks
Broad Daylight in the Benighted City
Jubilee / The Egg Bowl
Afterword
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 11/04/2025
i made a ritual calendar incorporating three transsexual holidays (one existing, one nascent and one yet to come)
twelve months arranged in a circle above a color wheel; the solstices and equinoxes are labeled; a right-pointing equilateral triangle shows TDoRemembrance, TDoVision and TDoJoy indicated on the vertices
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 10/04/2025
✍🏻😈
a dozen notebook journals of various colors arranged with sticky notes on a hardwood floor
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 29/03/2025
[menacingly] there is a growing body of evidence to suggest the existence of the state of new jersey
amtrak window view of a new jersey suburb with dark clouds overhead
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 01/03/2025
part of me is here forever
Photo of an old school purple GameBoy Color playing Pokémon Crystal, at a tutorial screen near the beginning of the game where the old man is telling the player character, “This is the sea, as you can see. “
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 25/02/2025
2022
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 17/02/2025
can i interest you in
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 12/02/2025
friendship ended with urgency: now stillness is my best friend
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 02/02/2025
page number go up (this is how far i’ve gotten in typesetting my manuscript)
a photo of the bottom of an Adobe Indesign document with the page number “89” circled in red. 

A visible excerpt reads:

“Thus the contents of the taboo faded entirely from my conscious mind and were replaced by a cavernous horror, a negative space whose contours marked the letterbox borders my awareness.”
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 29/01/2025
low key my favorite star. missing her already
sunset on my street
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 22/01/2025
screen shot
a screenshot of an extract from a short story on scp-wiki.wikidot.com (Ara Orun by qntm) in which almost all the text is redacted, except for the phrase “the world is ruined.”
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 11/01/2025
i wrote a lil lyric essay for fun
“The new music is already here” —on techno, dancing, the future, and taking what’s ours. DM me for full text
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 06/01/2025
this could be us
it’s a selfie of me lying stomach-down on my bed, with my cat sitting on my butt looking directly at the camera with an aura of mischievous nonchalance
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 25/12/2024
merry christmas to her and her only
it’s me and my aunt’s dog cleo
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 18/12/2024
sneak peak anyway the reason i haven’t shared new writing in a while is because i’m hoping to have a manuscript ready early next year
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 11/12/2024
i try not to gaze too long at ours for it gazes also back
the washington monument at night with two small red lights on top that look like beady little eyes
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 05/12/2024
also this is one of my prized possessions & occupies a place of honor on my living room wall
a painted portrait of Sophie, the musician, based on a still from the music video for “it’s ok to cry,” with an angel’s halo added above her head
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 05/12/2024
found this from @catgraffam.bsky.social in a box from my last move and immediately had to put it on display
a painted self-portrait of a trans woman whose face is cast partially in shadow by her hand against bright sunlight from a window
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 04/12/2024
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*winnie was here @berenexia.website · 02/12/2024
haul
“The Great Good Time” and “Pieces of Skull,” books by Roz Kaveney, photographed on my sunlit kitchen table
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