iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 29/05/2026

chat i signed a lease agreement today. i have an apartment. after exactly three years and eleven months of being homeless. still feels kind of surreal and tbh idk when i'll start believing it.

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 16/05/2026

also, we were informed that going forward we will not be paid for missing work, should there any future drone or other threats. so idk, guess it's a decision between your own safety and keeping a job then 🙃 and in this economy, who the fuck can afford to lose their job.

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 15/05/2026

doesn't seem like it, they updated the estimated target area just recently and told us to keep sheltering until further notice. guess the silver lining is that apparently it's "just" a case of friendly fire from an ally, for whatever that's worth 😬

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 15/05/2026

sooo. woke up to airforce hornets flying around at like 5 am. apparently they've detected military drones somewhere pretty damn close by since we're being told to seek shelter and stay inside. swear to god i'm so fucking done.

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 31/03/2026

also not like /getting/ getting like as gifts or anything, getting as in they're falling from the sky, loaded with explosives and all

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 31/03/2026

also, been staying in this small village within a sight from a semi-significant port and i've noticed that i can always tell when a cargo ship is arriving bc the phone reception always goes haywire, which i can only imagine has something to do with russian gps jamming. which is also very fun.

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 31/03/2026

so.. apart from my personal life falling apart, we're now getting stray ukrainian military drones, which is fun and exciting and all

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 20/03/2026

also a bunch of really nice comments on some of the (unfinished) older stuff from like a couple years ago too bad my nuclear waste of a laptop decided that it was her time so now i have no laptop and i'm not going to write full fics on my phone so

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 20/03/2026

now a week later, kinda in the same vein... just checked my stats and i've gained literally like 3k hits since re9 release, which is like... 3 weeks ago? ppl really must be thirsty for old man leon bc none of my work is new lol

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 13/03/2026

like i mean i get it, i feel that way about a lot of other people's fanworks. but _my_ writing?? someone feels that way about my silly little scribblings?? been really struggling with self-worth lately but damn that comment made me feel something

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 13/03/2026

i still have my comments restricted to logged in users only bc of former harassment from anons. and then they went on to say that my writing has inspired them to want to improve their own writing. like. i'm just.

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 13/03/2026

haven't checked ao3 in forever (for obvious reasons lol) and when i tell you i straight up started bawling my eyes out when i saw that someone had left a long comment that started with them telling that my fic was the reason they made an acc bc they wanted to leave a comment so bad and

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 09/02/2026

yeah, it's probably my nervous system speedrunning the stages of grief ig. not the first time it's happened but guess we're doing it all over again

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 07/02/2026

and yeah, again, friends, i know. but it's not the same thing. i love them to death and appreciate them more than i could even begin to put into words. but they're not my parents. ig that's what i miss. the idea of mom and dad, and the fact that neither of mine just never cared.

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 07/02/2026

of my life without my parents. and yeah, it's a decision i made, but not one i wanted to make. it just had to be done. it's not even that i miss them or talking to them or whatever. ig it's more just realizing that i was alone all along.

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 07/02/2026

don't know if it's just the midnight blues or what but suddenly feels like i'm all alone in the world. i know i'm not, i have friends who love and care for me on levels much deeper than i'd ever imagined. but at the same time, it's really starting to sink in that i'm really going to spend the rest

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 03/02/2026

you want to go outside bc first it won't budge to let you out and then it won't close and lock properly 😭 or staying up at night bc you need to tend the fire as long as you can

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 03/02/2026

i mean it certainly has its charm but also imagine having to do the dishes and all you're getting from the tap is ice cold water 😭 going to the shower and it's lukewarm at best. all the doors get so swollen that you barely can open or close them and you've got to fight with the front door when

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 02/02/2026

but hey at least my fucked up lungs are loving the humid air so 🤷‍♀️

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 02/02/2026

healing. but damn keeping this house warm when it's -20° and the air is fucking humid bc of the sea is a fucking full day struggle. oh you just had the fire going for hours and took a break to cook? too bad, time to get the fireplace going againn

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 02/02/2026

having spent the last three weeks in a nearly 100-year-old wooden house by the shore (like. i can hear the waves when the sea is restless. inside the house.) all i'm saying is that i think i'm starting to get why they built hospitals by the seaside before. being this close to the sea really feels

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 29/01/2026

and not only that, but allowed it to continue into my adult life as well, let them still take up so much space in my life that i had no room for me. in my own damn life. and i think this might be the first time i'm letting myself be angry about it.

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 29/01/2026

i know, it's just really hard. i really gave up absolutely everything i cared about to focus on keeping the adults in my life on track. stopped trying to pursue friendships, quit hockey, quit most of my hobbies, for no other reason than exhausting myself trying to keep my adults afloat.

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 28/01/2026

was also hit with a whirlwind of childhood stuff and so much regret, even though i know i did the best i could when i was younger.

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 28/01/2026

society. we're not called one of the most racist countries in europe for nothing ig.

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 28/01/2026

could. she literally told me that i could not participate in certain activities bc i was "too dark" or bc i was not blonde. mind you, i am quite literally white as a sheet of paper. and yeah sure i started school a solid 20 years ago but idk, just goes to show the extent of underlying racism in this

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 28/01/2026

had to empty out my mother's apartment recently and found a lot of my old stuff, including old school photos. was funny realizing all over again that i was the only one on my class who wasn't blonde. and i remember my teacher making damn sure to point it out every chance she

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 22/01/2026

found this with the hockey stuff, a drawing an old friend gave me a decade ago. still feels odd being perceived but damn not often have i felt so seen. she even explained that each flower she'd picked bc they represented something she felt fit me, can't remember them anymore though lol

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 22/01/2026

also does it count as a face reveal if it's art

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 22/01/2026

found my ancient hockey stuff today while going through some old stuff, felt quite sentimental about it.

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 14/01/2026

also feels pretty wild bc i knew that i had great friends before, but idk if it ever really registered before just how far they'd be willing to go for me. not many people ever have in my life before, certainly not my parents.

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 14/01/2026

this year has really concretely shown the meaning of 'found family' and exactly who has my back and is willing to deal with a little trouble and nuisance to help me out, even when they're getting absolutely nothing out of it.

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 14/01/2026

and other friends who are keeping tabs on me daily, asking me how i'm doing, asking if me and my cats have food, clearly making sure that i'm still hanging on.

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 14/01/2026

another friend lets me stay at their place for now, while they're staying over with their partner in another city so their house is empty anyway. third one started pulling some strings and got me into very serious talks about an apartment that i could possibly rent.

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 14/01/2026

one friend let me crash over immediately after my dad kicked me out. sent her a message in the middle of the night, told her what happened and she just asked me when i would be arriving. stayed with her for the first two weeks.

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 14/01/2026

feel like i can't stress it enough how lucky i am to have the friends i do, but then again calling myself lucky feels wrong too bc i don't want to attribute to luck something that is my friends very intentionally extending grace and going out of their way to keep me afloat.

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 05/01/2026

and tbh i think it says everything about our relationship that when he got married to his latest wife and had kids with her, the first thing in my brain was "well shucks, i'm not the only beneficiary of his inheritance when he kicks the bucket anymore." 🤷‍♀️

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 05/01/2026

true, true. and the thing is that nothing in my life changed after i cut him out, he played no part in my life before going no-contact either, so it wasn't even that hard. all that changed was that i was no longer wondering "what if" and found some peace of mind and closure.

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 05/01/2026

that's genuinely fucking bullshit, i'll never know where these fuckheads find the fucking audacity.

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 05/01/2026

yeah, the man is a whole ass shitbag and there were genuine reasons why i'd cut him out of my life for a long time. would've never reached out to him again if it wasn't my only option. safe to say that he's never allowed back into my life ever again, the shit he pulled is unforgivable.

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 04/01/2026

also, apologies to everyone i've ignored for the last month or two, i swear i appreciate you reaching out but i just don't have the bandwidth to socialize individually rn, surviving this shit is taking everything i have out of me.

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 04/01/2026

all i can say atp is that idk how i'd do this without my friends, it's only thanks to them that i'm not on the damn streets literally. no idea what i've ever done to deserve such angels in my life but i'm so grateful for them.

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 04/01/2026

so.. my abusive dad threw me out on new year's day bc i told him that i didn't want to discuss my mental health problems with him and some random man who he'd found while he was out partying and was claiming to be a forensic psychiatrist. chat i wish i was joking.

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 21/12/2025

i did. unexpected but fun and so much needed after everything going on lately.

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 20/12/2025

he just called me up this afternoon randomly too 😂 then picked me up and we drove 180km to the arena to see the game lol hadn’t heard from him in like almost a year now anyway but damn i love the fact that almost all of my exes are literal golden retrievers also, really needed this rn

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 20/12/2025

lesbhley lesbhley lesbhley lesbhley lesbhley lesbhley

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Reposted by oyster / b

Parrot @courtofparrots.bsky.social · 19/12/2025

Getting closer to 200 of u (WOWWW) so here’s a raffle <333

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 20/12/2025

guess who went to a hockey match today extempore, with an old ex bf from years back was fun, the game was mellow but alright (the leading team vs. the last team, not many possible outcomes), his friends were fun, helped him pick a gift for his mum and got to drove his very nice car back home after

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oyster / b @bcantevenswim.bsky.social · 19/12/2025

but hey, at least it wasn't alcohol. that's pretty much the only thing i don't want to risk again.

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