Reposted by austin🎃 It’s the Mid Pumpkin, Emily 🎃 @lefttheprairie.bsky.social · 11hRealistically, I’m more likely to get antibiotic resistant pneumonic plague from shopping at CashWise after a rancher who has had one too many z-paks and is a little too hands-on with prairie dog mitigation 161
austin @bainard.bsky.social · 08/10/2026you feel like johnny appleseed when it happens in the wild 130
austin @bainard.bsky.social · 08/10/2026and yeah the Suede comps are on point. speaking of, did you hear the Suede LP that came out last year? unreal. 000
austin @bainard.bsky.social · 08/10/2026seeing them, sunshy, and good flying birds again was def the best single day bill i've seen all year 110
austin @bainard.bsky.social · 08/10/2026"He Never Finished the Thought" was one of my favorite songs from last year. They opened their Windy Pop set with it. 130
austin @bainard.bsky.social · 08/10/2026i dunno man blowing a challenge to try to backdoor a catcher's interference and incinerating both ABS challenges was kind of the moment the white sox lost the plot in this one 010
austin @bainard.bsky.social · 07/10/2026michael bay directed the ads and we had to promise kids full college and a dodge charger 010
Reposted by austinBeermiscuous-Lakeview @beermiscuous.bsky.social · 07/10/2026Guardians/White Sox, this afternoon at 3pm! Watch it with us! 061
austin @bainard.bsky.social · 07/10/2026I can’t wait for Obama to call the leader of the organizing movement and tell them the best thing to do is to stop organizing. 050
austin @bainard.bsky.social · 07/10/2026Until @tcmcg.photo tells me otherwise I'm going to assume this build is every house in Oriole Park. 010
austin @bainard.bsky.social · 07/10/2026I think if I were a politician one of the things I'd least want to be is "embattled". 020
austin @bainard.bsky.social · 07/10/2026"Block 37 sold for $30 million to suburban firm planning major overhaul" A little over $108/square foot for Loop retail space is absolutely wild.archive.ph 031
austin @bainard.bsky.social · 07/10/2026Send (I'm assuming) him this Trib piece about the Keyes Constant from 2011:archive.ph 010
austin @bainard.bsky.social · 07/10/2026i love that the production choice for the outro was just "everything to 11" 110
austin @bainard.bsky.social · 07/10/2026i briefly thought this was the redassed former manager of the marlins 010
Reposted by austinBeermiscuous-Lakeview @beermiscuous.bsky.social · 07/10/2026Tomorrow! Wednesday! 3pm! If you can't score a ticket to Rate Field, we'll have the White Sox game on the projector with sound! Game 3, 3pm, Wednesday, at Beermiscuous-Lakeview! 031
austin @bainard.bsky.social · 06/10/2026brb naming my fantasy nba team "dirty deeds done dort cheap" 020
austin @bainard.bsky.social · 06/10/2026never underestimate the laziness of the average local police department 010
austin @bainard.bsky.social · 06/10/2026A Morning Zoo-style parody of The Decemberists’ “The Sporting Life” called “The Snoring Wife” 000
Reposted by austintoilet bones @toiletbones.bsky.social · 06/10/2026Found the email I sent when I got accidentally added to the faculty listserv of an orthopedic surgery clinic and nobody would remove me so I sent this email to all faculty/staff/med students and they removed me almost immediately 190113783093
austin @bainard.bsky.social · 06/10/2026i could make a really great playlist of the albums i bought after hearing/seeing the single precisely once 010
austin @bainard.bsky.social · 06/10/2026saw this vid once on MTV and wrote down the artist to go buy the CD 130
Reposted by austinautumn coded @hoovybaby.bsky.social · 06/10/2026Poptimism and Its Consequences Have Been a Disaster for the Human Race 1356
austin @bainard.bsky.social · 06/10/2026wedding anniversary is coming up so i had to dust off the unsuiii post 030
austin @bainard.bsky.social · 06/10/2026Farmers are losing their subsidies. We're not letting fields sit fallow for no reason. We're not taking water from Native Americans to grow pistachios and almonds. Suburbs will become havens for native plants. McMansions will be reserved for building hackers and skate video producers only. 080
austin @bainard.bsky.social · 06/10/2026one of the weirdest and most enjoyable shows i ever played was in MKE 010
Reposted by austinaustin @bainard.bsky.social · 02/10/2025*arnold schwarzenegger voice* jazz chisholm 061
austin @bainard.bsky.social · 06/10/2026Under the Bainard regime we're doing reverse Pol Pot shit. Forced urbanization. Your F-250 is getting cubed. 1165
austin @bainard.bsky.social · 05/10/2026the iphone's been around for 20 years and they still haven't fixed syncing 010
austin @bainard.bsky.social · 05/10/2026yeah but even the suggested donations are less at the post-august festivals. 010
austin @bainard.bsky.social · 05/10/2026We know how easy it is to pedestrianize even major streets during busy times of year because we do it ALL THE TIME for NFP and for-profit festivals that are boons more to table-and-stage rental companies than they are to local businesses AND YET everyone involved still loves those fests. 060
austin @bainard.bsky.social · 05/10/2026This is something the Logan Square Farmers' Market deals with decently every year. Crowding means you need more space, which means more specifically-pedestrianized spaces for more time out of the year. If the locals are fine with that, great. If not, get ready to hear it. 130
austin @bainard.bsky.social · 05/10/2026Yeah @tonybreed.bsky.social mentioned this earlier but after the series of deluges that plagued August and September, everyone from Lolla kids to Riot Fest dads needed to be reminded that being outside with other people could happen without a tornado warning. 040
austin @bainard.bsky.social · 05/10/2026"but i didn't have to wait in line for a cider sample last year" 020
![Hello Bone Colleagues,
I have invented a new type of ankle and I'm very excited to show it to you. Early raccoon trials suggest a 60% increase in scurrying speed and dramatic increases in fine motor banditry. I know we are not supposed to create super raccoons, but I think you'll change your mind and professional ethics when you see how cute they are. I believe we are on the cusp of a new era in advanced human scurrying because if medical science has taught me anything, it's that improvements in raccoons correspond 1:1 to improvements in humans.
--
[My name]
Chief Bone Inventor
Chair, Department of Foot and Leg Innovation
Lord Mayor, Musculoskeletal Medicine
Hartford HealthCare,
The Bone & Joint Institute at Hartford Hospital.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:nycc7oummopgeptw555s6icn/bafkreicwbyb3msa5cnllbexjrxrmuw2s6qj36aiitv2tp5aos5nsz2pem4)
![Me [M 32] and my wife [F 31] have slowly drifted apart over 2 yrs, especially intimately. We used to be intimate 3-4 times a week but now it's been ab a year and a half since the last time we..you know.. She never touches me, even for a hug before she leaves for work. When she comes home she just complains that the house is a mess and then angrily cleans the house until she goes to bed (we got separate beds at her request). If were ever in the same room she's just on her phone constantly like i'm not even there. Whenever she sees me without my clothes on overtly averts her eyes and quickly gets out of the room. I think she's cheating on me bc she's started dressing nicer and keeping odd work hours (8 AM to 10 PM). i want to confront her. Full disclosure, i haven't been the best husband. I stream on twitch for 20 hours a day to -15 viewers who joke around by negging me in my chat. I quit my lucrative job as an orthopedic surgeon to take up streaming and it's taken longer to get popular than i thought, so far i have made $70 in 2 years. Our house is about to be foreclosed on and my car was repossessed. My hygeine has also gotten worse since i started streaming. I can't remember the last time i showered. When i plop down in my gaming chair i can smell my asshole for a moment. Ive also gained 300 pounds. I've spent so much time hunched over gaming in the last two years that i have developed a spine disorder where all my vertebrae fused together in a C-shape and i lost one foot of height. A while back i was in a car accident and my dick and balls switched places. My dick is on bottom and my balls are on top.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:zxpwqngk2qwffu3gt37mkrds/bafkreigcqip2k6rto2y5spjt2thofqqpqlisqcz6jlq2bxutijzlcw4mia)
