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Aztek

@aztekphetamine.bsky.social
17 followers 31 following 54 posts

schizo is just another word for truth

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Reposted by Aztek
The Onion @theonion.com · 18/11/2025
‘We’re Off To See The World!’ Shout Saluting Trump Boys Setting Sail On D.C. Reflecting Pool theonion.com/were-off-to-see-the-wo…
‘We’re Off To See The World!’ Shout Saluting Trump Boys Setting Sail On D.C. Reflecting Pool
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RandallMakArt🍉 @randallmakart.bsky.social · 18/11/2025
when will the lesson finally get learned? #cloudflare
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The Onion @theonion.com · 18/11/2025
Happiness Downplayed For Single Friend theonion.com/happiness-downplayed-f…
Happiness Downplayed For Single Friend
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The Onion @theonion.com · 18/11/2025
Onion Talks Hypothetically It Would Be Okay To Have Sex With A Robot Dog
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legit gaming leaks @gamingleaker.bsky.social · 14/11/2025
Steam Machine will be powered by electricity, not steam power.
Steam MachineSteam powered train
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The Onion @theonion.com · 14/11/2025
Trump Denies Writing 36-Volume Comic Titled ‘Don And Jeff: Time Pedophiles’ theonion.com/trump-denies-writing-3…
Trump Denies Writing 36-Volume Comic Titled ‘Don And Jeff: Time Pedophiles’
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The Onion @theonion.com · 14/11/2025
The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Sydney Sweeney theonion.com/the-onions-exclusive-i…
What is your political affiliation?

Honestly, I prefer to keep my desire to make America great again private.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 14/11/2025
DNA Sequencing Reveals Hitler Was Type Of Fern
theonion.com
DNA Sequencing Reveals Hitler Was Type Of Fern
BATH, ENGLAND—Saying the discovery shed new light on the infamous German dictator’s life, University of Bath researchers revealed DNA sequencing Friday showing that Adolf Hitler was a type of fern. “A...
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The Onion @theonion.com · 17/10/2025
Cool Dad Raising Daughter On Media That Will Put Her Entirely Out Of Touch With Her Generation theonion.com/cool-dad-raising-daugh…
Cool Dad Raising Daughter On Media That Will Put Her Entirely Out Of Touch With Her Generation
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Aztek @aztekphetamine.bsky.social · 10/10/2025
y'know for being so anti-piracy, it sure is ironic that the NES used a pirated CPU
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The Onion @theonion.com · 03/10/2025
Everything Falling Apart, Reports Institute For Somehow Managing To Hold It All Together theonion.com/everything-falling-apa…
Everything Falling Apart, Reports Institute For Somehow Managing To Hold It All Together
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The Onion @theonion.com · 01/10/2025
Physical Media Collector Pumped For Downfall Of Humanity theonion.com/physical-media-collect…
Physical Media Collector Pumped For Downfall Of Humanity
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Man Carrying Thing @mancarryingthing.bsky.social · 11/01/2025
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The Onion @theonion.com · 27/09/2025
Grizzled Band-Aid Weathers Third Shower
Grizzled Band-Aid Weathers Third Shower
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legit gaming leaks @gamingleaker.bsky.social · 27/09/2025
Grand Theft Auto VI will not be rated E for Everyone by the ESRB.
Lucia and Jason holding pistols in GTA 6ESRB E for Everyone rating
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The Onion @theonion.com · 27/09/2025
Drug Use Down Among Uncool Kids theonion.com/drug-use-down-among-un…
Drug Use Down Among Uncool Kids
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The Onion @theonion.com · 26/09/2025
Limbless, Slippery RFK Jr.: ‘Becoming An Eel Is A Sign Of Good Health’ theonion.com/limbless-slippery-rfk-…
Limbless, Slippery RFK Jr.: ‘Becoming An Eel Is A Sign Of Good Health’
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The Onion @theonion.com · 26/09/2025
Talk Of Fascism Dangerous, Warns Ministry Of Compliance
Talk Of Fascism Dangerous, Warns Ministry Of Compliance
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The Onion @theonion.com · 11/09/2025
Visit From JD Vance Last Thing Utah Needs Right Now
theonion.com
Visit From JD Vance Last Thing Utah Needs Right Now
SALT LAKE CITY—Alarmed by numerous reports that the vice president was currently en route to the state, sources confirmed Thursday that a visit from JD Vance was the last thing Utah needed right now. ...
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The Onion @theonion.com · 12/09/2025
Artist Profile: Sombr theonion.com/artist-profile-sombr
Hairstyle: The Muammar Gaddafi
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The Onion @theonion.com · 12/09/2025
New E-Toilet To Revolutionize Online Shitting theonion.com/new-e-toilet-to-revolu…
New E-Toilet To Revolutionize Online Shitting
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The Onion @theonion.com · 28/08/2025
The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Andrew Cuomo theonion.com/the-onions-exclusive-i…
The Onion : As mayor, what would be the most important areas to focus on first?

Cuomo: Her hips, and then her thighs.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 28/08/2025
Denny’s Announces Free Pancakes For Customers Who Take Fight Outside theonion.com/dennys-announces-free-…
Denny’s Announces Free Pancakes For Customers Who Take Fight Outside
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The Onion @theonion.com · 28/08/2025
CDC Director Arrives At Office To Find Dead Deer With ‘Fired’ Carved Into It
CDC Director Arrives At Office To Find Dead Deer With ‘Fired’ Carved Into It
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The Onion @theonion.com · 28/08/2025
Search For Public Restroom An Epic Ordeal Of Alienation, Humiliation, Human Cruelty theonion.com/search-for-public-rest…
Search For Public Restroom An Epic Ordeal Of Alienation, Humiliation, Human Cruelty
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Aztek @aztekphetamine.bsky.social · 29/08/2025
black jk rowling would create a white character called graham cracker
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The Onion @theonion.com · 14/08/2025
Fact-Checking Trump On Crime theonion.com/fact-ch...
Claim: Chicago, New York, and Los Angeles are crime-ridden cesspools.

False: These cities are safe, vibrant cesspools.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 13/08/2025
Area Man Has Naked-Lady Fetish theonion.com/area-ma...
Area Man Has Naked-Lady Fetish
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The Onion @theonion.com · 09/08/2025
Report: It's Not Okay To Just Start Talking To People You Don’t Know theonion.com/report-...
Report: It's Not Okay To Just Start Talking To People You Don’t Know
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The Onion @theonion.com · 07/08/2025
I Like Living In L.A. Because People Don’t Act Weird When They See Me On The Street theonion.com/i-like-...
I Like Living In L.A. Because People Don’t Act Weird When They See Me On The Street
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The Onion @theonion.com · 07/08/2025
Kennedy Curse Sure Taking Its Sweet Time With RFK Jr.
Kennedy Curse Sure Taking Its Sweet Time With RFK Jr.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 07/08/2025
DOJ Removes All Mentions Of Justice From Website theonion.com/doj-rem...
DOJ Removes All Mentions Of Justice From Website
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The Onion @theonion.com · 08/08/2025
Man Who Thought He'd Lost All Hope Loses Last Additional Bit Of Hope He Didn't Even Know He Still Had theonion.com/man-who...
Man Who Thought He'd Lost All Hope Loses Last Additional Bit Of Hope He Didn't Even Know He Still Had
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The Onion @theonion.com · 03/08/2025
Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick theonion.com/man-kno...
Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick
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The Onion @theonion.com · 28/07/2025
72 Years Ago Today:
THE ONION, JULY 28TH, 1953

Korean War Ends in Tearful 3-hour Finale
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The Onion @theonion.com · 26/07/2025
What To Know About The Epstein Files theonion.com/what-to...
Q: Who was president when Epstein mysteriously died in prison?

A: The alleged suicide took place in between the end of Obama’s second term and the beginning of the Biden administration.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 26/07/2025
34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece theonion.com/34-year...
34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece
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The Onion @theonion.com · 25/07/2025
FDA Drug Approval AI Generates Fake Studies theonion.com/fda-dru...
“I prefer to not know what drugs will do to me anyway.”

Heidi Keohan, Staple Separator
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The Onion @theonion.com · 25/07/2025
John Alford

John Alford, 81, leaves behind his 2006 Chrysler Sebring, 120,000 miles, $2,900. Local pickup only.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 25/07/2025
Americans Demand Crispier Outside theonion.com/america...
Americans Demand Crispier Outside
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The Onion @theonion.com · 22/07/2025
Marine Wonders What Will Become Of Angelenos Left Behind As Chopper Rises Into Sky theonion.com/marine-...
Marine Wonders What Will Become Of Angelenos Left Behind As Chopper Rises Into Sky
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The Onion @theonion.com · 22/07/2025
Trump Threatens Stadium Deal If Washington Commanders Don’t Change Name Back theonion.com/trump-t...
“Making ‘commander’ a racial slur might be a good compromise.”

Stephanie Geddes, Lens Bender
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The Onion @theonion.com · 22/07/2025
What To Know About The Epstein Files theonion.com/what-to...
Q: Why are people so interested in the Epstein case?

A: It’s the only example of money and power influencing an otherwise just legal system.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 22/07/2025
Real Estate Developers Decide Colorful Bench Enough To Deem Area ‘Arts District’ theonion.com/real-es...
Real Estate Developers Decide Colorful Bench Enough To Deem Area ‘Arts District’
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The Onion @theonion.com · 22/07/2025
Alabama Governor Signs New ‘Heartbeat Bill’ Lowering State’s Age Of Consent
theonion.com
Alabama Governor Signs New ‘Heartbeat Bill’ Lowering State’s Age Of Consent
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The Onion @theonion.com · 22/07/2025
Message Hidden Backward In Black Sabbath Album Wishes Everyone A Good Time Listening To Rock And Roll
theonion.com
Message Hidden Backward In Black Sabbath Album Wishes Everyone A Good Time Listening To Rock And Roll
OMAHA, NE—Subliminally influencing those who have purchased the 1971 album to sit back and enjoy the music, a hidden message discovered Wednesday when local heavy metal fans played Black Sabbath’s Mas...
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Cajus @cajus.bsky.social · 22/07/2025
RIP Ozzy Osbourne, really hits hard damn
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Aztek @aztekphetamine.bsky.social · 22/07/2025
Rest in peace Ozzy Osbourne, you crazy legend
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GREEN LUNG @greenlungband.bsky.social · 22/07/2025
Goodbye Oz. We’d be nothing without you ✌️
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The Onion @theonion.com · 22/07/2025
Good Scissors Not In The Fucking Drawer theonion.com/good-sc...
Good Scissors Not In The Fucking Drawer
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