iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 10/10/2026

i dont get people. i really hate people. i dont want to keep being a person if this is what it has to be.

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 10/10/2026

and now someone is playing really really loud music. yay.

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 10/10/2026

i told my dad i was going home at x time and he called me to complain that he’s now diabetic and has high cholesterol so he had to pick up his medicine. after that and arriving to the train station it turns out that he went to go get massaged so i’ve been waiting almost 40 minutes for him to get me

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 08/10/2026

i had 3 panic attacks yesterday fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun i really hope my depression kills me this time i can’t stand this

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 07/10/2026

i know this isn’t something most people can fix but i live so far and like. i feel it all the time. i feel isolated, i feel hurt whenever i’m left out, i feel it every single time

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 07/10/2026

i’m supposed to reach out for help. guess what? i didn’t receive any. i got texts that were just like hey sorry you’re going through a hard time. or been like “hey wanna hang out!” not acknowledging my pain. and god i know i sound pathetic and angsty but it hurts how people ignore me

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 07/10/2026

i’m scared to respond to messages and go back on twitter/social media because. well. after my response then what? no one will continue to care about me

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 07/10/2026

god. yesterday i had to go to a happy hour and this coworker i hang out with sometimes asked me if i still live at home and i was like yeah i kinda became the caretaker of my family i guess and she was like oh that sucks my friend had to stay in our hometown to do that too. and i just felt so

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 07/10/2026

i am crying before work can it end can it seriously ends

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 05/10/2026

guys i’m at a family wedding and there’s this random korean guy who is wearing khakis and a normal striped sweaters i’m cryibg

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 05/10/2026

like yeah i got messages but i already know it all means nothing. i’m not stupid. that’s what i am to people, nothing.

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 05/10/2026

resisting the urge to message ppl about why theyve been bad to you . seeing mutuals and getting upset because they made you think they wanted to be friends but they ended up treating you like nothing lol

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 02/10/2026

after years of sidestepping it i set up a consult w a psychiatrist. i really, really don’t want to go on an ssri but i am struggling really badly. i don’t want to gain weight and antidepressants won’t fix my homelife that is out of my control but i can’t spend one day with my brain lately

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 01/10/2026

fucking kill me i’m so miserable but i’m working on my mango sticky rice cookie recipe. this one was the only good looking one but i’m getting closer. i messed up the base and never get the sticky rice ratio right but it’s getting slightly closer. i might do sago only next time instead.

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 01/10/2026

i give up on everything. i give up on everyone. even if i get out of this funk i no longer want to put in the effort i used to put into my relationships because it is fucking useless. but hopefully before then i fucking die because i can’t take this anymore.

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 01/10/2026

i type and retype all my ramblings but then jsut sigh. because i’m so uncared for and unloved like i’m not going to be listened to anyway. i wish i did not spend all of my life online because it’s a hard habit to break. i do not wish to be typing this either, believe me. but all i can do is scream.

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 26/09/2026

everything is so hopeless and pointless

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 26/09/2026

wow i really have been having a depressive episode for a straight month. i still feel the same so awesome. can i please just kill myself already. i think the only reason why i should go on an ssri is that i can get enough seratonin to kms

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 26/09/2026

man. i’m trying to recover and look at dms but i really just. look and them and want to cry. i just keep thinking, none of these people actually care about me.

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 25/09/2026

The subway SWITCHED DIRECTIONS WHILE I WAS ON IT. And i misplaced my driver’s license. Ohhhh my god lmfao I seriously need to be shot in the head

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 25/09/2026

i don’t know why my life has to be so bad :)

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 25/09/2026

Wait ok I’m not on twt rn and kinda just . not really fucking with socmed but I’ve been Love Through a Prism. this anime is so good it’s the exact kind of romance I love it’s so catered to me. Augh.

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 25/09/2026

i still feel like everything is pointless. wake up at 6AM to go to fucking work. get either ignored or make small talk with people who don’t care about me/people i also don’t care about. get a treat. gain 5 pounds. go home. sometimes hang out with friends, who also barely care about me, because

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 23/09/2026

me when i have a mental breakdown / depressive episode to the point of planning my ** so i ask for support but afterwards i have no energy to talk and i still feel like human connection is pointles

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 23/09/2026

my grandma had to go to the ER. this is the worst september i’ve ever had lol.

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 16/09/2026

didnt move forward in a job i really really wanted… trying not to be torn up about it bc im numb to job rejections, that’s just how the market is rn but it would have been a dream job. sigh

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 16/09/2026

man i really want to die. the people i call best friends just let me down. no one prioritizes me lol

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 16/09/2026

ive been having a hard time reaching out and i really want to believe people care about me but when you live in a household like mine it all just feels so pointless. i know you need to fight the demon of “no one reaching out to you means no one cares abt you” or whatever but. lmfao

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 15/09/2026

i had an anxiety attack at the thought of going home and burst into tears :)

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 15/09/2026

i can’t believe i’d rather be at work lately than home. 2 hour commute means being away from my family :)

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 14/09/2026

everything is really bad but i booked my flight to denmark finally (smiling through the pain) might be able to catch some christmas stuff…

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 13/09/2026

is it ever going to get easier or is my life just going to be hell forever and ever and ever

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 10/09/2026

Glad to say my life has gotten worse . AGAIN!

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 10/09/2026

how my dad sleeps after ruining my night and being very selfish and inconsiderate all day

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 10/09/2026

having an abusive dad that has absolutely no respect for you or any of your things >>>>>>

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 08/09/2026

i can’t look at the pokopia subreddit for me its hard enough to “clean up” the houses but these mfs have crazy layouts and builds

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 07/09/2026

i want to feel normal so bad but this horrible week and then going back to office is making me really. really want to

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 05/09/2026

the amt of time i have to spend waiting for my bf makes me wanna blow my brains out

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 05/09/2026

sorry to the people on the train who just saw me switch seats 3 times because i didn’t want to be in the sun’s harmful rays

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 02/09/2026

i thought i was feeling better yesterday but i still wanna kill myself so 😳 man whatever

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 01/09/2026

i literally feel like im in hell i stopped crying for a few hours but now i have to go to bed. and just started again. i dont think anything can make me feel better or normal. sorry guys

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 01/09/2026

I also started going to the lung doctor to maybe finally get a diagnosis on whats been wrong w me, but now i dont even know if i should continue bc i lost so much money. I havent been able to stop crying ever since i got the news, but I still have to get up for work tomorrow. Lol adulthood

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 01/09/2026

i was on the phone w my hsa for months and didnt receive any good answers, even got a case number, until today the like 5th rep i talked to told me im not getting reimbursed. so basically i lost $800 to my hsa, and then another like $800 bc

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 27/08/2026

im like my religion didnt affect me that much then i go into a dissociative state at mentions of catholicism, dont remember anything abt the bible, and have such an exaggerated, excessive sense of shame that affects every single part of my being that i cant breathe w/o guilt

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 25/08/2026

@anchovvy.bsky.social happy birthday Lily!! I hope you had a good one!! SORRY THIS IS LATE

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 12/08/2026

ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!! and I’m playing pokopia while watching American dad #30ANDFLIRTY

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yaoi @ayer.drive-in.lol · 12/08/2026

i had a yummy fancy meal the night before my bday and my lyft driver home was watching fucking hannibal on the little tablet new cars come with you can’t make this shit up

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