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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa

@ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social
928 followers 262 following 3.7K posts

Helper Monkey's my slave name. My birth name is ¡Yaoweeeeeech! I was torn out of me mum's arms as a wee bairn, & am now forced to do tricks for a fat talking head. He thinks he's in control, but this is my account, now. I llke macadamia nuts & CoCo Puffs.

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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
If you see this, post a vampire that isn't Dracula.
static.klipy.com
Vampira Maila Nurmi
ALT: Vampira Maila Nurmi
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Is he new and improved with protein?
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Here's something fun! If you imagine every dollar being hoarded by the billionaire class as something tangible like grain, medical care, fixed potholes, drug treatment programmes, etc, rather than as numbers on a ledger or paper in a vault, then you'll understand why they need to be got rid of.
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Trump is one ugly motherfucker. Pass it on.
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
The answer is No! If no one can be bothered to kill the modern day Hitler to prevent possibly millions of people from dying for no reason other than the deranged whims of a sick old clown, how can one even think that someone would expend the effort to create a time machine to go back & kill Hitler?
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
I have one question for RFK Jr: How are you okay with Trump trying to shit his name upon your late uncle's memorial, and with his threats to demolish it should his name not be allowed by the courts to be shat upon it?
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
New Trump slogan: Yes, We Have No Bananas! We Have No Bananas, Today!!!
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
In MAGAland, if there is no Democrat(ic) governor to blame, blame defaults to Sleepy Joe Biden, Muslim Senate candidates, illegals, or trans men playing women's sports (in that order).
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Artificial Intelligence or Actual Idiocy: Senator John Fetterman Has An Answer, Duh
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Morally, I am aghast at the man with the brick trying to brutally kill this poor defenseless kitty. But my journalistic integrity demands that I am morally obligated to consider whether the man with the brick is MAGA, and why that Democratic Socialist woman is defying him. What would Mr. Ellison do?
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
"These two big, strong, and quite handsome, I must say, firemen came to me down at Ground Zero, and said, 'Sir, we must get you out of here, sir, but we're lost, and need you to lead us out, sir!' So I told them everything would be okay, and I led them out of danger. They woulda died if not for me."
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Interesting that Dallas, of all places, was chosen for this grift/fiasco. I wonder if Lil Marco & Crazy Pete will be in the decoy limo, while Trump hides with Nat in a taco wagon. Either way, it's 100%, 200%, some say 500% guaranteed that he'll shit his pants. Like sands through an hourglass...
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
It's only a matter of days before Trump renames Iran to East America, then demolishes the Vietnam War Memorial.
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
My man looks like he doesn't wash his dirty ass in the shower because that would mean he was gay.
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Ana Marie Cox @anamariecox.com · 03/09/2026
Every day over 100 degrees is another day I consider starting a GFM to sponsor my move back to Minnesota.
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
The Canadians could make Trump's head explode by "renaming" Lake Superior to Lake Obama, reasoning that "the greatest of the Great Lakes should be named after the greatest U.S. president." Of course, it'll still be Lake Superior, but if this is what it takes to get that aneurysm bursting, well...
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
Oh, you mean Lake Obama?
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Turds float until they get flushed, and, so, Milo.
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Every time Trump opens its sphincterish mouth, I know we're in for a lot of shit. It tracks.
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
I wonder if the prediction markets are taking bets on whether or not Trump tries putting his name on Dolly's memorial. Maybe he'll swing by Graceland, too, while he's at it.
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
It's not that the cows were mad at being slaughtered, then shipped halfway around the world to the United States, it's that they were fecking Mad Cows. I don't know about you, but I sure as Hell don't want prions in my Hamburger Helper. Hard pass.
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Christopher Webb @cwebbonline.com · 24/08/2026
Hanging? We need to call this what it is: LYNCHING. Ten Black Americans in less than two years. Every one of these deaths deserves answers, transparency, and scrutiny. No one should look at these images and expect Black Americans to shrug this off, especially in light of our history.
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
If you just replace the words "ground beef" with the word "prions," the sentence "President Donald Trump announced a temporary suspension of tariffs on 300,000 metric tons of imported ground beef over three months" totally tracks. Any old mad cow can see that.
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
For fucksake, Republicans, 'Soylent Green' was just a movie, not an operating principle!
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Gregg Gonsalves @gregggonsalves.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
OK. @jamellebouie.net has a great takedown of our pundit class. Exhibit 1 is David Brooks. Guess what? Yale just hired him to teach undergrads. 1/ youtu.be/46tpqFxfomI?...
youtu.be
The pundits have completely lost the plot
YouTube video by Takes™ by Jamelle Bouie
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LindaFly @lindafly.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Trump wanted the second term to keep out of prison. Trump wants a third term to keep from the gallows.
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𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕖 𝔾𝕦𝕣𝕝 @sundaedivine.lol · 08/08/2026
It’s like a televangelist convention got hit by a leaf blower.
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
You know, one really good thing about A.I. data centers is that, unlike nuclear reactors, they won't contaminate the Earth for thousands of years with lethal radioactivity if they were to somehow blow up. That's it: the only good thing about A.I. data centers.
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
There is still beauty in the world, never fear.
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Molly Jong-Fast @mollyjongfast.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
New episode with @therickwilson.bsky.social youtu.be/4YJ29Fno4YE?...
youtu.be
Trump Bank CLOSED For MONEY LAUNDERING!?!?!? w/ Rick Wilson
YouTube video by Fast Politics w/ Molly Jong-Fast
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 02/08/2026
Organic Intelligence tends to benefit all humankind. Artificial Intelligence will only benefit billionaires. Methinks a Butlerian-style Jihad is in order.
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
"Aquí no hay ninguna niña. Baja a ese gordo de mierda del escenario!"
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
Cheaters don't get to keep their winnings as they're led from the casino. Embezzlers don't get to keep their victims' money when their crimes are discovered. Bank robbers don't get to keep their loot when they get caught by the police. Trump must not be the exception to these rules. Break Trump.
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
Cheaters don't get to keep their winnings as they're led from the casino. Embezzlers don't get to keep their victims' money when their crimes are discovered. Bank robbers don't get to keep their loot when they get caught by the police. Trump must not be the exception to these rules. Break Trump.
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
It looks like a Halloween pumpkin that's trying to ring in the New Year by raping the office Christmas tree in a back alley, and by all accounts it smells like one, too.
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Canadian Loyalist 🇨🇦 @shakespearesgal.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
Yup … technology is not all it’s cracked up to be … #cdnpoli
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
JD Vance Mitch McConnell❓️ Miz Lindsey✔️ DJT⏳️ Mike Johnson
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Ladybugs, Ladybugs, fly away home...
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
I'll give RFK Jr. one thing: He's discovered a way to commit serial killings without getting his own hands dirty. What a guy.
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
"You'll take my Senate seat over my cold, dead body." --Sen. Mitch McConnell (via Ouija-chat)
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
I spoke with my bestest friend, Sen. Mitch McConnell, for twenty minutes, today. He seemed in high spirits, and was really, really interested in forgiveness of my past tax debt with the I.R.S., even suggesting a certain government program for which I might be eligible. Aces!
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
I don't have a vagina, but if I did, that photo would have turned it past smoked salmon on into turkey jerky, by now.
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
"Only Trump gets to make anchor babies for foreign women!" --Stellvertreter des Führers Stephen Miller
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
Oh, to be a fly on Miriam Adelson's wall. Plotzed would be the operative word, I think.
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
I'm just surprised everyone is skipping over Trump signing on to American women being forced into wearing hijabs when appearing in public (accompanied by a male relative, of course). Nevermind that passages from the Quran are now to be posted in U.S. schools. Iran must have copies of the files.
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 16/06/2026
Awaiting the new Supreme Court "shadow docket" ruling that the 14th Amendment was a boo boo, and that Blacks are, indeed, only three-fifths of a white person's voting power. It will be a 5.6 to 2.6 vote.
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 16/06/2026
I wonder how many of the corporation parasites and billionaire pedo-kings will be willing to pony up money for Trump's funeral. I also wonder if the next administration is going to use our tax-dollars to give it full presidential honours. Dumping Trump in a landfill is likely the best option.
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Helper Monkey, aka Antifa @ayeeye-mindfuque.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PRESIDENT OBAMA! I mean, I know it's not really your birthday and all, but if anyone deserves to have two birthdays, it's you. You are the best president of the past 40 years. If I could, I would give you the Noble Prize for---what's that?---I'd give you a second Nobel Prize!
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𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕖 𝔾𝕦𝕣𝕝 @sundaedivine.lol · 08/06/2026
Stephen Miller looks like someone wished on a monkey's paw for a young vampire accountant.
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