stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 02/01/2026humans are designed so fuckin stupidly because wdym i can’t just pay a doctor every year to powerwash all of my sinus chambers and start fresh with a new olfactory outlook on life 010
Reposted by stephanie vacherKatie Carmichael @drkatcarm.bsky.social · 11/09/2025::slowly stands while clapping:: 61010257
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 05/06/2025of all the days to be binge watching succession 😎 010
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 12/04/2025there's something deeply ironic about the children of millennials being told that they, too, are not allowed to enjoy avocado toast www.cpsc.gov/Recalls/2025...cpsc.govFisher-Price Recalls Brunch & Go Stroller Toys Due to Choking HazardConsumers should immediately stop using the recalled stroller toys, keep them away from children, and contact Fisher-Price to receive a free replacement stroller toy. Consumers will be asked to perman... 150
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 08/04/2025presenting my premiere television episode stress spectrum [lower stress episodes] - president’s deputy chief of staff doesn’t want to listen to yo yo ma - big guy defends server rack from supervisor - russian family has chat with their neighbor in a parking garage 100
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 01/04/2025this japan/SK/china alliance thing is the geopolitical equivalent of kendrick and drake dropping a double album of crooning duets 020
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 30/03/2025girl: babe i wanna dance male figure skater: ok but i have some extremely specific requests that involve wearing sequins and strapping knives to our feet male figure skater: also you have to do everything i do, but backwards 040
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 26/03/2025cool i was thinking of doing a capitalism but now i’m gonna drive my car until it hits 250,000 miles or the wheels literally fall off and i can no longer re-attach them 110
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 15/03/2025wasn’t prepared for the fact that i don’t really know any nursery rhymes so this small human is gonna get renditions of black hole sun and heart shaped box instead 6140
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 03/03/2025no surprise that conan did so well hosting the oscars considering that the man knows exactly what it feels like to be robbed 040
Reposted by stephanie vacherJudd Legum @juddlegum.bsky.social · 22/02/2025Sending an email to employees asking them to list five things they did that week is a classic move from a manager who has no idea how to manage 868236973634
Reposted by stephanie vacherAlexandria Ocasio-Cortez @aoc.bsky.social · 22/02/2025They need him to be a genius because they cannot handle what it means for them to be tricked by a fool. 332225434225
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 21/02/2025you'd think after this many years of knowing myself as a clumsy person, i'd know better than to buy white clothing 230
Reposted by stephanie vacherZoe Gardner @zoejardiniere.bsky.social · 14/02/2025Good morning to this man, and this man only #bbcqt 522214565932
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 29/01/2025if we’re supposed to be in the final days of rome then we need fewer lifted trucks driven by sweaty men with metabolic syndrome, and more buff shirtless dudes driving gilded chariots with beautiful horseys. i’ll gladly sit back and watch this whole place go to hell with that kind of entertainment. 110
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 10/01/2025SF wanted in on that california attention too, i guess 130
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 01/01/2025happy “oh shit, oh fuck damn it i need to spend down the rest of my FSA that doesn’t roll over before midnight” day to all who celebrate 120
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 27/12/2024currently about 5mins into red one and laughing my ass off at how real it is that buff santa is seamlessly integrated into the american military industrial complex 110
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 14/12/2024happy tornado warning in san francisco day to all who celebrate 1312
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 12/11/2024you’d think after 39 years on this godforsaken planet that my body would’ve figured out how to adapt to time zone changes, but no it just has to go and learn the same stupid lesson every time 2100
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 14/07/2023going forward, at the start of every work presentation i will be including a 30 second casper mattress commercial, and at the end i’m going to have a slide with my venmo QR code 140
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 12/07/2023truffles (chocolate) > truffles (pig-discovered) my mind will not be changed 110
Reposted by stephanie vacherJeff Gerstmann @jeffgerstmann.com · 06/07/2023The way they pre-populated the servers with high-follow influencer types and fuckin’ brands kinda says everything you need to know about Threads. Like “ah, yes, finally, a new Twitter for the brands to enjoy!” 1933882
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 06/07/2023what threads thinks it is v. what it actually is 020
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 21/06/2023between the submersible that’s too submersed and the cruise ship discovering that wind is dangerous, i’m gonna double down on my belief that humans weren’t really supposed to go that far out into the ocean 100
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 19/06/2023maybe in 2123 some budding entrepreneur will create a tourism sub tragedy tourism sub to dive down and view the wreckage of the titanic wreckage tragedy tourism sub 🤔 050
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 11/06/2023my local hipster coffee shop switched pastry suppliers, refuses to offer chai lattes, and now insists on playing free jazz (which is my biggest panic attack trigger). i’m not a curmudgeonly “change is bad” kinda girlie, but it finally feels like it’s time to cut the cord and switch to peet’s 🥺 340
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 26/05/2023just saw 3 teenage girls walking across the street wearing pyjama pants and torn-up hoodies with holes cut for thumbs. it’s like i’m back in 1999- all they were missing was a discman blasting green day and chunky headphones 030
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 19/05/2023curated in 2020 by a geriatric millennial, TikTok’s hottest Algorithm’s got everything: dollhouse miniatures, ghosthoney, carpet cleaning ASMR, and russian dash cam videos that feature the worst humans alive attempting to do dom turetto style stunts in cars built during the soviet era 000
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 18/05/2023the reason millennials have trust issues is because our way of explaining our mental state will involve saying something like “haha i am an emotionally vacant shambling corpse” and boomers will chirp “humpday, huh?” in response 010
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 09/05/2023the only thing helping me get into heaven at this point is the fact that i still shoo bugs* outside the house instead of doing a big stomp *mosquitoes get fucked tho 150
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 09/05/2023all i’m asking for is one perfect slice of cheese pizza, west coast. just one. 220
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 08/05/2023went to an event today where the caterers labeled the water pitcher as “bay area water” and i could not love that more ♥️ 011
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 05/05/2023somebody get that duolingo owl on this app so i can cry-scream at it 010
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 04/05/2023cookie ranking 1. chocolate chip (top tier) 2. peanut butter with the criss-cross fork design in the top 3. girl scout cookies 4. ginger snaps 5. oreos . . . . . . . - 10,000. snickerdoodles (extremely gross) 210
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 29/04/2023by far the best thing about being an adult is the moment that you come to the realization that nobody has a fucking clue as to what’s going on and that we’re all just making this up as we go along. once you embrace the absurdity it all starts to click, and that’s god damned delightful. 030
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 26/04/2023for anyone else out there who sneezes like 40 times after you’ve finished eating: it’s called ‘gustatorial rhinitis’ 020
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 20/04/2023if you chase multivitamins with a swig of diet coke does it just cancel the whole thing out or what 000
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 14/04/2023being the victim of a hit and run is incredibly confusing, because there’s no straightforward way in english to describe what happened. you can’t say “i got hit and runned” or “someone hit and run me” like that doesn’t work at all. “i got hit and ran” implies that you got up and chased them. wtf. 210
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 13/04/2023thrilled that the first whiff of drama i’ve encountered on the butterfly app is that some dudes are offended by butterflies 🦋 they are heavy metal af. imagine growing a pod and turning into a volatile goo that recombines itself into a different form. literal shapeshifters. resplendent moths. damn. 130
stephanie vacher @awesome.bsky.social · 10/04/2023post-op bodies are the wildest things: 1 day after a surgery i’m like “yess time to take on the world!” only to crash miserably. afterwards my body will find that “meat puddle” is an acceptable shape, and it will not deviate from that shape for the next four days. 010
