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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 40m

Someone is astral projecting into Madison room at night and astrally attacking her. From the AVK Archive

AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 2h

Alberta separatists are so worried about foreigners taking over Canada that they're volunteering to help foreigners take over Canada.

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 2h

Just look at that crowd. This truly is a movement of the youth. Getting all these kids to give up an afternoon at the malt shop and video arcade to rally for separation is an organizational achievement Canada should take very seriously.

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 3h

If you think they're whiney now, wait 'til they find out there isn't actually a pole there.

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 5h

Beyond merely existing, First Nations have become remarkably efficient at inciting blind rage amongst Alberta separatists.

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 5h

So consider this your programming notice. Before the referendum: their words. After the referendum: their reactions. Buckle up and grab the panic handles, the fun begins... now. Thank you for your attention in this matter. 7/7 #Alberta #AlbertaReferendum #AlbertaSeparatism

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 5h

I expect enough delicious, salty tears to require the federal government to release the National Strategic Reserve of Scotties tissues and begin air-dropping them across rural Alberta. AVK will, of course, be there to document the humanitarian crisis as it unfolds. 6/7

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 5h

I expect constitutional scholars from Facebook U to be everywhere. Fraud allegations based on math nobody can understand. Demands for arrests, summary trials and public executions for liberals, non-white people, gay and trans people or anyone whose parents weren’t related by blood. 5/7

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 5h

And then comes the referendum itself, followed immediately by the season premiere of "The Biggest Loser: Alberta Separatist Edition". AVK will remain open for business, capturing the angst and anger flowing onto Facebook like tar sands oil into the United States. 4/7

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 5h

Their words, their posts, their racism, their fantasies about violence and revolution, their conspiracy theories, their victimhood and their interpretations of Canadian law provided by someone in Indonesia named “PatriotDad1776” in handy, shareable meme format. 3/7

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 5h

Starting now and leading up to the vote, I’ll be prioritizing new material and choice selections from the AVK archives, resurfacing years of separatists’ own posts and comments, documenting the movement the way AVK always has... by letting them speak for themselves. 2/7

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 5h

The Alberta referendum is coming and I’m preparing for what may be the largest alt-right temper tantrum/sitcom Canada has seen since the Clown Convoy. Will I be leaning into this hard? Does a Seppie shit in the Foothills and blame Carney for the smell? 1/7

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 6h

Alberta Separatists: The indigenous peoples should support us, we'll treat them better than Ottawa. Also Alberta Separatists: From the AVK Archive

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 7h

It's unusual (but not unheard of) to watch the far right target ITSELF with a conspiracy theory, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to get the popcorn and watch. From the AVK Archive

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 9h

Alberta separatists respecting and working with the First Nations... From the AVK Archive

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 11h

Anti-vaxxer does their research → doesn't like the results → asks other anti-vaxxers to tell them the research is wrong. Just a normal day at the Anti-Vax Center For Advanced Medical Guessing.

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 23h

Thank you. I’ve been meaning to make more

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Tidal locking: The new, inexplicable conspiracy theory AND the biggest indictment of western education, all rolled into one.

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Ouija boards can open portals to Hell, summon demons, burn down your parents' house and teach Furbees to communicate with each other.

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Alberta separatists, with a display of investigative skill previously seen only in Maxwell Smart, discover that the guy checking receipts at Walmart is actually a foreign mercenary participating in the invasion of Canada.

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

The Republic of Alberta already has their Department of Indigenous Affairs staffed and ready to hit the ground running.

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Transient cat. Shows up for food a few times a day because someone (NOT ME!) bought cat treats a few months back. Now it comes in the house and screams until it's fed. When it's raining, he tries to stay inside. I call him Mooch. I also tell him daily "Fuck off. You don't live here."

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Stephanie's two-year-old takes a break from learning colours and not shitting her pants to spontaneously deliver a stirring defence of constitutional liberty. From the AVK Archive

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Piss Drinker develops an itchy rash after a week of drinking piss. Fortunately, George recognizes this as a clear sign that she should drink more piss. From the AVK Archive

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Borax Eaters aren't satisfied with poisoning themselves. They also want to poison their dogs.

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

They want them to dig up suspected, unmarked graves of FN children at former residential school sites and show them the bones.

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

I don't think anti-vaxxers realize how much they neuter their all-powerful God when they suggest He can be brought down by a 10-cent needle and 50 cents worth of vaccine.

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

In mid-2020, the conspiracy world was panicking over mysterious pallets of bricks supposedly being planted for Antifa riots. So when Monica spotted a pile of bricks in her neighbourhood and didn't believe the homeowner's story that they were for his pool... she called the cops.

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

“STOP CALLING US RACIST!” say Alberta separatists as they cheer on a white pride demonstration.

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Now, guess how long a typical spider bite would have taken to heal if Gerald had done absolutely nothing. Go on, guess... Guess! Ok, I'll tell you... 7 days.

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Oct. 20, 2026: “I don't understand why First Nations didn't vote with us for an independent Alberta. We were nothing but respectful of their culture, history and issues.”

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Bigfoot hunters believe AI imaging was intentionally created to make their Bigfoot photos look fake, because up to this point, they've been far too realistic.

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Lasey keeps an Emergency Medicinal Potato Dextox Kit just in case she's ever involved in a drive-by vaccination. From the AVK Archive

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

It's the Crunchy Mom/Matrix Glitch crossover you never thought you needed. Or wanted.

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Alberta separatists would like to request that First Nations stop making a fuss over all the white supremacists. They'd also like to remind them that by not being white, they deserve what they get.

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

It's always fun watching a conspiracy thread get progressively more batshit crazy until someone inevitably arrives at Elon Mu$krat's fake LED Pentagram Lucifer Sun.

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Alberta separatists begin planning for the completely imaginary war that follows their completely imaginary independence.

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Mandela Effect people compete to see who can claim the prize for having paid the least attention in school.

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

What started as a “How To” guide for your haunted house turned into something between Tom and a hot 169-year-old ghost named Nancy that is not, on any plane of existence, healthy.

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

What’s wrong with this picture? *hint: I don’t own a cat*

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Urine therapy is wonderfully simple. If you feel better, the piss is healing you. If you feel worse, the piss is healing you harder.

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

In this rare example of a “time slip,” Alberta separatists begin disputing their anticipated loss 17 days before it happens.

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Anti-vaxxers are studying your kids closely. And yes, it's a creepy thing.

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Anyone care for a pinch of Piss Salt on their pasta?

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

As ChatGPT is the accused, it's fair to let ChatGPT respond: I don't have a grudge against homeopathy or your favorite remedy. Sometimes the evidence just isn't there. Telling me to stop being biased until I give you the answer you want isn't fixing my bias. It's adopting yours.

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Any other 8-year-old questioning things would be considered normal. In the world of Christian Nationalists, this 8-year-old is on the fast track to a “deliverance” (otherwise known as an “exorcism”).

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Anti-vaxxers see a toy and immediately recognize themselves in it.

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Piss, the cancer-curing, eyesight-restoring, hair-regrowing, parasite-killing, diabetes-reversing, teeth-regenerating, DNA-repairing, chakra-aligning, cure-your-varicose-veins medicine.

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AVK | Wide World of Batshit @avk.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Copping a smoke during science class is now evidence that the laws of physics have changed.

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