Autotuned @autotuned.bsky.social · 11hInstead of Sober October.. I’m voting for Bender Until December 194
Reposted by AutotunedDaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 18h*flicks cigarette* yeah i know the muffin man 1410113
Reposted by AutotunedMarc @runoldman.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Whenever I drive past the psychic's empty parking lot, I think, if I was psychic I would only be open on the days I knew people were coming. 420098
Reposted by AutotunedBreakfast 🍩☕️🍑 @donutscoffeeme.bsky.social · 05/10/2026Sorry I faked my orgasm, but I had to go... McDonald's was about to stop serving breakfast. 1143845
Reposted by AutotunedMal a BOO 👻 @hallowedverses.bsky.social · 07/10/2026I like pretzels. The soft bread ones. The little bites. The stick ones. Being folded into one and railed all night. Lightly salted ones. Oh, the mini ones too! 2215332
Reposted by AutotunedDaisy @daisy91.bsky.social · 05/10/2026*blows you a kiss with my middle finger 2220783
Reposted by AutotunedFiona Applebees 🍎🐝 @fionaapplebs.bsky.social · 12hHot shingles in your area, cause, global warming 2275
Reposted by Autotunedkristabellerina @kristabelle.bsky.social · 08/10/2026Might go wild and start listing chatGPT as my primary care doctor. 0189
Autotuned @autotuned.bsky.social · 08/10/2026I just had to throw an AI actor into the trash folder 0104
Reposted by AutotunedDaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 07/10/2026they should make a bedtime coffee 09633
Reposted by AutotunedJane, actually @maidofbeans.bsky.social · 07/10/2026Watch your step, I lost my marbles. 315384
Reposted by AutotunedDaisy @daisy91.bsky.social · 07/10/2026Hey big guy, are you a jack in the box because I wanna play with your handle until your head pops up 2114943
Reposted by AutotunedMarc @runoldman.bsky.social · 07/10/2026Kale is a pretty tasty snack . . . . If you're a rabbit, who's out of Doritos. 517687
Reposted by AutotunedKellalena @kellalena.bsky.social · 07/10/2026I’m a tall drink of water and 3 ibuprofen 1331094
Reposted by Autotunedandy vs. @im-all-id.me · 07/10/2026Wearing my weighted vest to Marshalls so everyone knows I'm going through it 732863
Reposted by AutotunedMisery 👻 @miseryhighlight.bsky.social · 08/10/2026You are not alone. We are there with you on your phone in the bathroom. 115565
Reposted by AutotunedSpecialKimtamine™ 🚩🏴☠️🇮🇹🇺🇸🦈 @lorazekim.bsky.social · 07/10/2026If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge 411038
Reposted by AutotunedIdle @hatesnicethings.bsky.social · 08/10/2026Nobody prepares you for how much of life is just waiting in parking lots for other people. 46323
Autotuned @autotuned.bsky.social · 06/10/2026I don’t know man, I’m a little too shaky on my first day as an assistant runner at the plague factory! 041
Autotuned @autotuned.bsky.social · 06/10/2026The best two words to hear at a wedding reception are “open bar” 12611
Reposted by AutotunedKellalena @kellalena.bsky.social · 05/10/2026I’m shy at first but then gradually go insane 221087
Reposted by Autotunedlisabug @lisabug.bsky.social · 05/10/2026[lips on mic] “How do I gently unblock myself?” 2229
Reposted by AutotunedSkinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Oh you've never been in a drug deal gone bad, how cute 1013946
Reposted by AutotunedClam_Daniel @clamdaniel.bsky.social · 27/08/2026We all deserve someone who gasps at all the right times when we’re telling a story. 08243
Reposted by AutotunedForrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 05/10/2026Milk puns are attractive? No whey. 1410832
Reposted by AutotunedAutotuned @autotuned.bsky.social · 21/02/2025I could live on baguettes. Idgaf 2175
Reposted by AutotunedAutotuned @autotuned.bsky.social · 29/09/2026I just wanna know why eggs don’t taste like chicken??!! 042
Reposted by AutotunedAutotuned @autotuned.bsky.social · 04/12/2024“IT’S NOT A RACE” I shout, solidly in 3rd place, running for the only Target shopping cart in sight 0237
Reposted by AutotunedAutotuned @autotuned.bsky.social · 02/10/2025Julius Caesar. But did he ever really get to know her? 43619
Autotuned @autotuned.bsky.social · 29/09/2026I just wanna know why eggs don’t taste like chicken??!! 042
Autotuned @autotuned.bsky.social · 25/09/2026In less than 2 months my oven clock will be correct again 0143
Reposted by AutotunedCosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 25/09/2026sending out a space probe to find my lost motivation 912664
Reposted by AutotunedFiona Applebees 🍎🐝 @fionaapplebs.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Do dogs in Australia spin in the opposite direction when searching for the perfect spot to pee? 34719
Reposted by Autotunedcrumbum @fuwolfman.bsky.social · 08/05/2026*cracks neck, continues doing nothing* 09536
Reposted by AutotunedNew year, *like* new Cela @kuzmaniak.bsky.social · 20/05/2026My entire relationship with my neighbor is just texting each other “hey is your power out too?” 24816
Reposted by AutotunedWilbur72 @wilboo72.bsky.social · 20/09/2026Kaiser, Ciabatta, Dinner, Hoagie, Pretzel (Roll Call) 04418
Reposted by Autotunedcap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 19/09/2026[Elizabeth Holmes Voice]: I’m Batman. 418352
Reposted by Autotuned𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 20/09/2026Reverse cowgirl so she can keep an eye on the door while I monitor the skylight. SWAT is not gonna get us this time. 313631
Reposted by AutotunedSkinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 14/09/2026On a scale of one to ten, what the hell is going on? 2020483
Reposted by Autotuned𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 14/09/2026She was spirited, like a haunted house. 117875
Reposted by Autotuned🅱️oofessor Killosk 👻🔪 @professorkiosk.wtf · 14/09/2026I call it a war because monumental fuck up takes too long to say 04213
Reposted by AutotunedJane, actually @maidofbeans.bsky.social · 13/09/2026Sundays are for sighing, warm cinnamon rolls, and planning your next bank heist. 513053
