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attackmonkey.bsky.social

@attackmonkey.bsky.social
103 followers 104 following 969 posts
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Blimey. I’ve ALMOST made it to 50. If I can hang on for a couple more weeks, I’ll have made it. This might not seem like much, but back when I was 29, I was diagnosed with stage IVB Cancer, and I genuinely didn’t know if I was going to make 30, let alone the ripe old age of a half century.
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
Yesterday was one of the highlights of the year, the fifth annual vibrator decorating championships, and the theme was traditional arts and crafts. The standard of the entries was, as always, crazy high. I love my friends 😃
Table with vibrators decorated in the style of traditional arts and crafts. The largest is a diorama of the great cockery throwdown featuring a ghost on a pottery wheel. There is also a basket of bread and one decorated with flowers.More decorated arts and crafts vibrators, beading, crochet, knitting, pottery, witches staff, kinsuge, and a representation of some of the many cicks from the bayeux tapestryMore arts and crafts vibrators, a corn dolly, sculpted chandelier rose, and a multi-craft one featuring wicker, knitting and macrame.
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Back to the real world with a thump. A long week of complicated website upgrades to work on, and I start my training block for my next backyard ultra. At least I got a decent sleep last night after three nights running on minimal sleep and adrenaline.
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
One of our Canadian friends who’s over for the festival at about 4am in the hotel bar last night “you HAVE to show me how you guys substitute sleep for booze and cigarettes and still put on an awesome festival” 🤣
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
Motherfucking Utah Saints!!! Being hospitality boss at a festival is awesome. Especially when I get watch a band I LOVEDat school 😃
Utah Saint, U U U Utah Saints
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
Am sad that we are nearing the end of the Brindlewood Bay campaign we’ve been playing. The fearless old lady detectives are squaring up for a showdown with occult tech brosettes. Definitely going to run this again soon.
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
I was reminded that it’s been two years since I fulfilled one of my dreams! First saw a giant cat bus at the Ghibli Museum in 2005, but only kids were allowed on. Fast forward to 2024 and grown ups are allowed on this one at the Ghibli Park. I was genuinely so happy to sit in the bus 😃
A joyful looking middle aged dude in ozzy style hat waves cheerfully from inside a life sized catbus at the Studio Ghibli Park.
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
I realised I forgot to post this, but the dragon book nook I was painting came out AWESOME. I was terrified it would come out shit, but the person I painted it for loves it and has added it to her game of thrones themed library!
A painted 3D printed dragon book nook! It’s green with bone coloured horns and teeth. It’s sat in front of some awesome DVDs.
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
Friends kid LOVED all the Kung Fu Panda movies! I’m happy to have passed on my love of the films to the younger generation 😁
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 27/07/2026
About to show some family friends who have never shown their kids Kung Fu Panda my favourite animated film of all time. It’s not often I consider calling the CSP on my friends, but this is one of those times 😂
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
Some interesting articles in the latest Skrift!
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
More WIP on the book end dragon, painting stuff this big is HARD, and 3D prints have vixen lines that can make stuff look a bit janky. That said, I’m actually quite pleased with how this is turning out. ALMOST done.
A photograph of a partially painted green dragon bookend. He seems angry about something. Probably the footy red card thing. He looks like a sportsy dragon!
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
I haven’t had time to paint for a VERY long time. Almost a year ago I said I’d paint this 3D printed dragon book end for a friend’s GoT themed library. I’m FINALLY making some progress on it, it feels good to be doing something creative again!
Work in progress of a painted dragon book end for a friend. It is a green dragon poking its head out of a gap with three claws reaching out.
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
Doing a kids OCR event this afternoon with year 5/6 at the school I’m chair of! Apart from the heat, I’m looking forward to this, it’s one of the highlights of the year. Watching the kids figure out they can do tough things and feeling amazing about themselves afterwards is awesome.
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
Oh no! Mochi’s front legs have melted from the extreme heat!
An unimpressed mackerel tabby cat lies on the floor wondering where her front legs have gone. She’s adamant they’ve been melted off by the sun.
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
Three innocent rats, definitely not looking to plot and scheme and get up to no good. Definitely not.
They’re just normal innocent rats, three of them. They’re all coming up to the bars of their cage to say hi to one of their human slaves. And definitely not up to no good. No siree.
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lex luddy needs a nap @lexluddy.xyz · 15/06/2026
Mandatory age verification and the banning modern public towns squares for young people is, and forever will be, governmental and societal abdication of responsibility so that those in charge don't actually have to dare hold big tech accountable for the very real public harm they can foster.
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 13/06/2026
I survived big Danish CMS conference. It was back in Copenhagen after a stint in Odense. I haven’t managed to go since I was made an MVP six years ago. It was a fantastic event, and the BIGGEST takeaway for me, was the realisation of the huge mental health benefits of hanging out with your tribe.
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 11/06/2026
I’m at crazy Danish CMS bingo! I set myself the challenge to take a photo with everyone I’ve EVER met at this conference, I am at 250 photos and rising 😂
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 03/06/2026
Excuse me good sir/madam, could we interest you in the teachings of our Lord and saviour, the horned rat?
Two rats would like to know if you have any warpstone? Also, would you like to hear about our lord and saviour, the horned rat? Yes yes.
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 26/05/2026
To the loft!!! 😂
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 25/05/2026
Just got back from watching an emotional finish for Gods Own Backyard at 58 hours of solid running. I managed a fairly tame 7 hours in comparison (I got REALLY sick from the heat six hours in and just couldn’t pull it back).
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 25/05/2026
Only managed 7 hours of running on Saturday due to heat exhaustion, but I’ve been back marshalling over the last day and a bit, just had the honour of watching the four remaining runners switch back to day loops, another couple of hours and they’ll hit 48 hours of running.
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 14/05/2026
What started off as a relatively straightforward list component has suddenly morphed into a bit of a beast. I’ve got the easy part working now, just the fiddly bit that lets them configure customisable search stuff left to do! I do like an interesting challenge though!
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 11/05/2026
I was sensible and didn’t run Leeds marathon twice. Just the once, in the correct direction, and for once, I wasn’t terrible. Which was nice 😂
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 09/05/2026
Semi seriously considering running Leeds Marathon backwards with pals tonight before doing the actual thing in the morning. This is not a good idea 😂
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 07/05/2026
Was meant to be doing a 30 minute slow run as part of my taper before Sundays marathon, but instead I did a 10km rock up and run from a local race company and ran a 56 minute 10km. Oops 😂 super fun though, and got to hang out with one of my Ultra buddies!
Two men of a certain vintage celebrate a weekday 10km run. The chap on the left looks like crazy Gandalf, and the chap on the right looks like a gurning potato. They are both very happy.
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 06/05/2026
Delightful day helping out on a school trip to Lotherton Hall with reception kids today, they were all so excited about seeing the animals! I’m shattered now though 😂
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 05/05/2026
New Skrift has dropped!
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 04/05/2026
We have new member of the family! This morning we picked up three young buck rats from our friend who’s a breeder. Watching them explore their new home and bond with my daughter is wonderful. Still not set on the names yet, although there are a few strong contenders so far.
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 28/04/2026
Can’t decide if Mochi is yawning or screaming into the Monday void 😂
A small tabby cat yawns as she waits for her tea. She hopes she gets fed soon, she’s pretty sure cats die if they aren’t fed AT LEAST every ten minutes.
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 25/04/2026
Mochi is being boss cat. She’s sat on my daughter and being super cute, but definitely in charge 😂
A small mackerel tabby sits on a child’s lap, looking like a boss. And she is a boss, have you heard about cousin meow meow who wasn’t fed for five minutes and he DIED? You should feed me every five minutes, just in case.
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 01/04/2026
It was a bit nice out on the canal for my run yesterday!
Picture shows a tree hanging over the Leeds Liverpool canal on a sunny day
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 28/03/2026
Today we went to meet some rats as my daughter has expressed an interest in having pet rats. I think it’s safe to say she bonded with them 😂
A medium sized child bonds with a boy rat at a fancy rat show. Rats are ace by the way
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 27/03/2026
New Mesh album is brilliant. Well worth the wait, this is going to be on heavy rotation for coding/running I reckon. I’ve always been surprised they’re not bigger over here, given they’re a British band. Genuinely great live too.
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 26/03/2026
The job market is weird at the moment. This is the longest I’ve been between contracts since COVID hit. On the plus side, got to do today’s long training run in the glorious sunshine. But if you need a friendly knowledgeable #umbraco freelancer with a ton of experience, give me a shout!
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 16/03/2026
I’ve lived in Leeds for over 30 years, and I STILL learned some cool things about the city library when I went there on a trip with a bunch of year 2 kids today! Libraries are awesome, librarians doubly so 😃
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 14/03/2026
Mochi, the little kitten we rescued after she was abandoned in the ruins near our house, has properly settled in now. She’s very much part of the family now, even if she has been a bit free with the dead rodents of late. #proofofcat
Picture shows a very contented mackerel tabby cuddled up to one of her humans
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Umbraco Spark @umbracospark.bsky.social · 05/03/2026
The Umbraco Spark 2026 programme is officially live! 🔥 Explore all the talks and timings for the day! Who are you most excited to see? ✨ 👉 umbracospark.com #UmbracoSpark #Umbraco
Full-day Umbraco Spark schedule. 08:30 Registration. 09:00 Welcome. 09:15 “Umbraco Search – a developer’s perspective” by Kenn Jacobsen. 10:00 Morning break (20 minutes). 10:25 “Umbraco Decisions: Stay, Upgrade, Rewrite” by Rachel Breeze. 11:15 “Tiny but mighty: TinyMCE in Umbraco 17” by Frédéric Harper. 11:30 “Developers, Assemble! Community is Your Team’s Superpower” by Joe Glombek. 11:45 “Across The Cloudiverse” by Richard Jackson. 12:00 Lunch (60 minutes). 12:30 “Lunch with Candid Contributions: Live!!” (30 minutes). 13:05 “DDoS My Desk: Load Balancing Live and Uncut!” by Carl Sargunar. 13:55 “Can AI Build an Accessible Tool If You Only Write the Spec?” by Mike Masey. 14:10 “A Website, an Email, and an AI Summary Walk into a Bar…” by Georgina Bidder and Matt Sutherland. 14:45 “Much Ado About Nothing” by Kevlin Henney. 15:00 Afternoon break. 15:25 “What’s Next in the Backoffice” by Niels Lyngsø. 16:15 Quick drink and stretch break (15 minutes). 16:30 Package Awards. 17:15 Closing Drinks.
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 03/03/2026
It’s been a while, but I’ve written article for Skrift this month! It’s a must read for anyone who’s ever wondered how debugging your feet after 20 hours of running is similar to web development 😃
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Umbraco Spark @umbracospark.bsky.social · 27/02/2026
🚨 Spark alert! 🚨 Just 1 day left to grab a full Umbraco Spark ticket 🚀 After today: Basic only — no swag, no sparkle! ✨ Fun, learning and awesome experiences await! 😎 🎟️ www.tickettailor.com/events/umbuk... 👉 umbracospark.com #Umbraco #UmbracoSpark #LastChance
Promotional graphic for the SPARK Innovation Conference, taking place on 20 March 2026 at We The Curious, Bristol, UK.

The image features orange and white text over a blurred background of people networking. A bright yellow banner across the bottom reads, "LAST CHANCE FOR SWAG!" Social media icons for Mastodon, Instagram, X, and LinkedIn are visible in the bottom right corner.
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Sebastiaan Janssen :cultiv2: @sebastiaan.cultiv.social.ap.brid.gy · 25/02/2026
Only 2 (TWO!) more days to vote for Umbraco in the CMS Critic Awards if you haven't done so..! Nominated in 9 categories (10 if you count uSkinned.. and of course: we DO count uSkinned!) cmscritic.com/vote #Umbraco
cmscritic.com
The 14th Annual CMS Critic Awards Nominations
Your voice, your choice! Vote your favorite platforms for the 14th Annual CMS Critic Awards, the longest-running awards program in the content management industry! For almost a decade and a half, our "People's Choice" Awards have given vendors – and their loyal community of users – an opportunity to shine in the spotlight. Show your top tools some love and vote them today!
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 22/02/2026
Missed a training run on Friday due to exhaustion after house renovation, so made up for it by turning today’s training plan 7km run into an impromptu 49.5km ultramarathon. Bit tired now mind you 😂 on the plus side, I’ve now finished the last 28 miles I didn’t get to do at the canal ultra last year!
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 19/02/2026
Genuinely having a blast running Brindlewood Bay for a group of friends. I love the collaborative approach to the story/plot, it means that a character, who seemed minor, but resonated with the players, has now become a major recurring villain 😃
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 13/02/2026
Currently trying to clear our lounge ready to have new flooring. As part of that, I’ve had to clear the DVD shelves. I’d forgotten quite how many DVDs I’ve actually got (well over a 1500). Think the DVD scene from Hot Fuzz, but with more DVDs 😂 part of it is my latent hoarding genes!
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 03/02/2026
New Skift has dropped! Check it out 😃
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 29/01/2026
I’m one of the MCs at Spark this year! You get to watch me introduce talks and tell you important things 😃 hopefully I’ll see lots of your lovely faces there!
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attackmonkey.bsky.social @attackmonkey.bsky.social · 29/01/2026
Web Developer Quasar Marshall Head of Artist Hospitality (music festival) Data entry bod Chair of Governors
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Umbraco Spark @umbracospark.bsky.social · 21/01/2026
🎉 The Pre Spark #Umbraco Hackathon and Package Jam is back! Sign-ups are open 👉 www.meetup.com/umbristol/ev... If you’re going to #UmbracoSpark (🎟️ www.tickettailor.com/events/umbuk...), this is your chance to meet & collaborate face-to-face as a team. #umbristol #truedigital
The Pre Spark Hackathon and Package Jam is back
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