🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 05/10/2025I have not listened to the new Taylor swift but I have listened to a lot of people talk about it and last night I had a dream that one of the lyrics in the Travis Kelce penis song was “his south will rise again” 020
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 11/09/2025Why my shitty abusive ex send me a 4 am email about how much his life sucks lol (broke up in 2016 btw!) 120
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 12/03/2025What's the point of having an online appointment request form if you're still going to make me CALL you to make the appointment 🥲 000
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 10/03/2025Really fucks me up every time I remember dry cleaning involves liquids 000
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 07/03/2025Going back to my roots (eating a veggie burger that's actually made of veggies) 000
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 05/03/2025Have authors always used the word "sluicing" constantly I just never noticed until now? I swear I had never heard it before in my life until I got back into reading a couple years ago. Gross word tbh. 010
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 03/03/2025I think this one is my favorite so far, hazelnut is also good 010
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 03/03/2025Either the Republican lady i work with is *slightly* less evil than i thought, or she did not realize my hat said "queer all year" when she told me it was "sooo cuuute" 010
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 01/03/2025Is anyone else going through that cycle of trying to put more effort into your appearance but then you have a breakdown from looking at yourself in the mirror too long so you stop putting in effort so you hate how you look and then it starts all over again Or do I just have a lot to work through 000
Reposted by 🤏🐙the Mountain Goats @themountaingoats.bsky.social · 01/03/2025realized while emptying the dishwasher that Yoda is precisely wrong. not malevolently so. but there is no do and there is no do not. there is only try. this is clear to a man in his mid-fifties and so should be clear to a 900-year-old Jedi knight 1825421521
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 28/02/2025Crumbl cookies are so unbelievably mid. Like grocery store cookies. Why did the world lie to me 000
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 26/02/2025The only good thing the federal govt is doing right now is curing my imposter syndrome. The absolute stupidest, ugliest, most useless people are at the top of the world somehow? Maybe I'm capable of more than I thought after all. 020
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 25/02/2025I hate to say it but the version of Please Please Please with Dolly Parton is kind of not good 010
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 24/02/2025What does it mean when Spotify says hey here's some Japanese punk for you and then plays songs from every Jeff Rosenstock project 010
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 22/02/2025I can't lie besties I for sure thought Steve Bannon was dead 140
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 19/02/2025What's the best brand of ketchup? I don't eat it but I keep wanting to make recipes that call for it. Or is it easy to make at home? Pls I just want some sweet and sour tofu. 100
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 19/02/2025Chloe Cherry more like Chloe Scary bc she creeps me tf out 000
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 17/02/2025Sorry to communists but potlucks and buffets make my skin crawl. Communal foods should be illegal. I'd rather starve. 100
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 15/02/2025My greatest fear is making fun of other people's midwest accents too much and ending up just talking like that for real 010
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 12/02/2025Queer little baristas complimenting my outfits is like drugs to me. Always chasing that high. 010
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 10/02/2025We don't talk enough about how a good portion of cold winters involves being sweaty and overheated and miserable 000
Reposted by 🤏🐙daryl "rupert pumpkin" b 🏳️⚧️ @hypercubexl.bsky.social · 09/02/2025saying "go birds" but just rooting for birds in general, hope they're having fun and not catching that flu 2876991967
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 07/02/2025Not to be a conspiracy theorist but why have I gotten newsletters from *TWO* far right far garbage news sites that I def did not sign up for today. Who acquired a bunch of email addresses to sign people up for these 110
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 07/02/2025Never realized until today that an embarrassing amount of my regular vocabulary is from Scott Pilgrim 040
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 03/02/2025Maybe I'm just stupid, but if all the working people are sick and starving and dying etc, wouldn't that make having untold riches kind of pointless. Like what are you gonna spend it on if there's no one left to make things or serve you or whatever. Idk. 000
Reposted by 🤏🐙Zandek @snugasabugbear.bsky.social · 31/01/2025Very good advice to find after a day of doomscrolling 95113156834
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 01/02/2025Feels like the only reason I'm not panicking all the time is everything happening is so stupid and absurd my brain can't comprehend that it's real life 120
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 30/01/2025Just remembered this post i saw a while back that was like "[popular YA author] only writes YA so they can manipulate young girls" with the implication being that you should only write for your own age group and gender. So when do we start getting published infant authors 000
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 27/01/2025Honestly pretty fucked up that I want to give Trader Joe's my money but they won't let me bc they can't stop being anti-union 000
Reposted by 🤏🐙BUM CHILLUPS AKA SPENCER HALL AKA PRESIDENT FOOTBALL @edsbs.bsky.social · 26/01/2025 548225987
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 23/01/2025Spotify made me listen to boygenius and Ethel Cain all morning and now i am so sad i feel sick lol 000
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 21/01/2025How to convince my brain that boring repetitive daily tasks are not actual literal torture 020
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 20/01/2025The horrors persist but at least I have cookie dough chilling in the fridge 010
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 15/01/2025Btw I made a letterboxd account for the 3 times a year I watch a movie letterboxd.com/asmalloctopus/letterboxd.comShayla’s profileShayla uses Letterboxd to share film reviews and lists. 1 film watched. Favorites: Beetlejuice (1988), Heathers (1989), Mean Girls (2004), Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988). Bio: I don't watch movies 040
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 13/01/2025One of my coworkers keeps mentioning things they see on reddit so being the nosy freak I am I had to find their account and I've learned they apparently really hate fat people so good thing I already didn't like them that much I guess lmao 130
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 12/01/2025Grocery shopping akin to therapy gf / Grocery shopping akin to being shipped off to war bf 030
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 12/01/2025Posting pretty much any twitter screenshots is bad enough but there's a special place in hell for people reminding me that Aella exists. Stop it. She's just a camgirl for nazis idc what she says about anything. 000
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 10/01/2025I don't feel like there are enough Catholics in this city to justify making everywhere smell like fish every Friday night 010
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 09/01/2025I think my most annoying woke belief is that white women really need to stop calling any big change haircut "the big chop" Like realistically no it doesn't matter but that's just not what that means 010
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 07/01/2025Started reading a popular fantasy book not realizing it was YA and it's soooo corny and cliche how is it so popular among adults 120
🤏🐙 @asmalloctopus.bsky.social · 05/01/2025I feel like I could write a novel in theory, except that I can only ever come up with random scenes and not full cohesive plots 000