Recently we talked about coworkers throwing tantrums at work, and here are 15 of my favorite stories you shared. 1. The cup My office kitchen has a dish drying rack next to the sink. We don’t have office-supplied dishes, just people bringing in dishes from home and a random collection of stuff that’s been left […] The post the cup meltdown, the “Lost” finale, and other tantrums you’ve witnessed at work appeared first on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: My company was fully remote for most of the last several years. We are now back in the office three days a week. One of my employees started earlier this year. At that time we were still mostly remote, though it was made clear that we’d be going back into the office […] The post our new hire was supposed to move — but still hasn’t done it appeared first on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: This happened about two years ago, but I would appreciate your perspective to help me move on. I was hired as a manager of multiple departments. Each department had their own manger and assistant manger under them. The issues arose when a new assistant manager, April, was hired. From the beginning, the […] The post how do I move forward after an employee filed a grievance against me? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker doesn’t like me I have a coworker who always seems just a little bit annoyed with me. I see it in things like her pause before responding, not laughing at my jokes, and rarely sharing office chit chat. It’s so subtle I spent […] The post my coworker doesn’t like me, colleague is too invested in the birth of my child, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I’m in a very upsetting and bewildering situation at work. I was called into a meeting with HR today because I allegedly said something snide this morning that made someone uncomfortable. However, I did not say anything of the sort — I made an innocent comment about conference rooms, but apparently two […] The post I’m being written up for something I didn’t say appeared first on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I have an employee who I suspect is living in a financially abusive household. I’m writing because I’m concerned for his welfare, and whatever is going on at home seems to be bleeding into his work. For some background: “Liam” is an adult who has told me he’s living with a roommate/friend […] The post I think my employee is being financially abused appeared first on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I have a staff member, Sam, who will be out later this year on parental leave. The period they will be on leave overlaps a time of year where their position is the busiest, as the work is highly seasonal and cannot be paused until they return. This isn’t an issue to […] The post am I being unreasonable in how we’re preparing for my employee’s parental leave? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My new boss has a criminal history I’ve been with my nonprofit employer for many years and recently learned that a new employee will become my direct supervisor. Before he started, I discovered that years ago he was involved in a serious incident in college […] The post new boss has a criminal history, who can managers be friends with, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I’m really not sure where to land on using AI to help with cover letters. I’ve seen a lot of conflicting advice ranging all the way from “no one wants to be bothered with a cover letter anymore” to “if I even smell a whiff of AI usage in a cover letter, […] The post should I stop using AI to write my cover letters? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

My publisher just told me the Ask a Manager book is currently part of a special promotion where you can get the e-book version for only $1.99! The sale lasts through Sunday. In Ask a Manager: How to Navigate Clueless Colleagues, Lunch-Stealing Bosses, and the Rest of Your Life at Work, I talk about more […] The post the Ask a Manager book is on sale appeared first on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I am in a job that has very strict metrics. I am extremely good at my job, I’m actually a top performer and have one of the highest productivity scores in the company in my field (with hundreds of employees in my role across the country). I also have autism that greatly […] The post my boss told me to stop taking the short breaks that make me good at my job appeared first on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Coworker matched with my husband on a dating app A few years ago, my husband and I briefly separated, and during that time we both tried seeing other people. We’ve resolved our issues and are back together now and monogamous. Recently, a new employee, Brianna, […] The post coworker matched with my husband on a dating app, my boss says I “lost my team,” and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: The Smart One, by Jennifer Close. Three adult children move back in with their parents. Told from in alternating perspectives from the two […] The post weekend open thread – September 26-27, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: Recently, on TikTok, there has been a big debate about if it’s okay to bring an iced coffee into an interview or not. Some people think it comes off immature or overly casual, like th...

A look back at what we were talking about around this time in previous years: One year ago… my coworker insists on celebrating my birthday even though I’ve asked her not to can I ask my coworkers to tell me to shut up when I’m talking too much? my boss wants me to start coming […] The post previously on Ask a Manager… appeared first on Ask a Manager.

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to […] The post open thread – September 25, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager.

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Why are all our brainstorming meetings terrible? This has happened in pretty much every brainstorming session in my career, and I am losing my mind. We organize a brainstorm-session, which is “throw everything on the wall, and eventually you reach something brilliant nobody has thought […] The post our brainstorming meetings are awful, a work friend divorced their spouse and propositioned me, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I am a first-time manager at an organization where I have worked in different contributor roles for 10 years. My department analyzes a great deal of data and writes summaries of our findings. I have always found it helpful to listen to music while focusing on my tasks. As I am adjusting […] The post should I not wear headphones as a manager? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

Here are three updates from past letter-writers. 1. Should I tell my boss to fire our new hire? (#4 at the link) I did end up talking to my boss, alongside another coworker who was having an even worse experience working with the new hire. Turns out our boss was already documenting all the issues […] The post updates: the bad new hire, being late applying for an internal job, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: I bet your readers have stories created about workplace rules that exist solely because one person did something spectacularly stupid. In my old office, we had to follow a ridiculous long approval process for office supply purchases because they found out one guy had been […] The post what’s a rule that exists because one of your coworkers ruined it for everyone? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker is aggressively questioning everyone about their pay I work at a mid-sized cultural institution, and everyone at my job level is part-time. Our managers and other staff above us are full-time employees with benefits. I also work part-time at a similar institution that […] The post coworker is questioning everyone about their pay, speaking out politically without being found out at work, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: This happened several years ago, but I still think about it and I’m not sure if I handled it correctly at the time. I started working a new job at a design firm in October of this particular year. I was a fairly low-level assistant-type person. In December, one of the senior […] The post my coworker repeatedly pushed me to contribute to a boss’s gift I couldn’t afford appeared first on Ask a Manager.

A reader asks: I work in biotech and am in the process of interviewing candidates for an opening on my team. I’ve gotten quite a few resumes from people who are managers in a related field looking to pivot or expand their skill set. The job description makes it very clear that the role has […] The post how can I know if a candidate will really be OK taking a step back? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

My mom, Barbara Green, died two years ago this week. I wrote this for her. It is not about work. My mother scheduled her death for 10 a.m. on a Wednesday. Two years earlier, she had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer — metastatic, we learned one horrible afternoon at Johns Hopkins, which meant surgery wasn’t […] The post my mom appeared first on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Pressure from my dad (who is my boss) to accept less pay My dad is second-to-the-top at a small business and manages everyone, including me. Yesterday, he asked me if I could start work two hours early the next day (manual labor) and finish at […] The post pressure from my dad to accept less pay, should I let employees fail so they can learn, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

Earlier this summer, we talked about times you should have stopped reading something … but didn’t. Here are 15 of my favorite stories you shared. 1. The bulletin board One time, legitimately poking around a server trying to find something I was legitimately entitled to read, I found a spreadsheet with everyone’s salaries. No password […] The post the salsa dancing resolution, the salary disclosure, and other times you should have stopped reading but didn’t appeared first on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: We had an employee, Sarah, work for us for 11 years and and then leave for a new job. She gave her two-week notice and we gave her a goodbye party. A part-time employee moved into her position. Now after five days, Sarah wants to quit her new job and come back. […] The post employee quit but now wants to come back appeared first on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I was recently offered a small side job that I would do entirely on my own time. It’s adjacent to, but does not overlap or conflict with, my full-time job. I’d make less than $500/month, and I viewed it mostly as pocket money for things like my gym membership, hobbies, and eating […] The post my boss says the company owns all my personal time, not just work hours appeared first on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Interviewee left and never returned I had a strange occurrence during an interview and I wasn’t sure if I handled it correctly. My boss and I were interviewing a candidate for an entry-level professional position over Teams. I thought the interviewee was doing well, and […] The post interviewee left and never returned, employee announced (rather than asking for) a schedule change, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: Recently, on TikTok, there has been a big debate about if it’s okay to bring an iced coffee into an interview or not. Some people think it comes off immature or overly casual, like this is just a stop on your errands. Others think it is overly stiff to ask interviewees not […] The post is it OK to bring an iced coffee to an interview? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

If you’ve paid attention to workplace culture in the last few years, you might have watched it move toward the idea that employees should be able to work in the ways that work best for them, as long as they’re getting their jobs done and aren’t preventing their coworkers from doing theirs. Witness, for example, […] The post We taught young people to ask for what they need. Then we sent them to work. appeared first on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I lead a mission-driven nonprofit that does excellent work for communities that really need it. I’m proud of what we do, and we have a strong, consistent staff who do the work very well. We could, of course, use another dozen people or a million dollars, but we do as much as […] The post how do I talk about using AI without sounding like an AI evangelist? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Boss is pushing me to out my boyfriend to promote our bar I work as a manager for a bar. I’ve been doing my job for about five years, and for the most part, I love it. My staff are great, I like the customers, […] The post boss is pushing me to out my boyfriend, my manager needs more training, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: You’ll Love It Here, by Natalie Sue. After being suspended from her job, a woman reluctantly agrees to step as in the temporary […] The post weekend open thread – September 19-20, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager.

A look back at what we were talking about around this time in previous years: One year ago… my boss told me I’m being annoying employee came to work with her butt cheeks exposed should I tell my coworker that everyone thinks she and a colleague are sleeping together? Two years ago… my “empath” coworker […] The post previously on Ask a Manager… appeared first on Ask a Manager.

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to […] The post open thread – September 18, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager.

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Does it look uppity to list languages on my resume? I currently list four languages on my resume and am working on my fifth. I tend to pick ones that a large number of people speak and where I know/have a positive relationship with at […] The post does a resume with languages look uppity, people think my name is AI, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I am currently employed on the east coast and am looking to move back to my family in the midwest. I intend to apply for employment there a full three months before I would be able to start work. In addition, I must ask for an entirely remote interview/hiring process with a […] The post I need to do all my interviews remotely — will employers be OK with that? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

Remember the letter-writer who wanted to cut her hours and go fully remote so she could travel with her retired spouse (#4 at the link)? Here’s the update. I did the thing with my boss. Not in the way I would have hoped — my family member (not my person, Bob) had a life-changing event […] The post update: asking to cut my hours and go fully remote appeared first on Ask a Manager.

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: I am typing this at my desk, on day like 3 of a cold and I reeeeaaaallllly wish I would have called in today, I am a huge slug. I’m an admin at a law firm and it definitely wouldn’t have been the best day […] The post when do you decide to stay home sick? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Job applicant smelled like poop I recently posted an ad for a job opening at my law firm. Initially it is mostly going to be admin with the opportunity to progress to more responsibility. A few interesting resumes arrived via email, but someone actually dropped […] The post job applicant smelled like poop, company took away our GIFs, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

Last month we talked about what habits have followed you home from work, and here are some of the most delightful habits you shared. •  My husband is a captioner and uses a specialized voice-to-text software to write the captions. He will occasionally come out of a long session and say things like, “How did […] The post the very efficient Thanksgiving dinner, the threat assessments, and other ways our jobs follow us home appeared first on Ask a Manager.

A reader asks: My company’s dress code is very relaxed. We often only wear t-shirts and jeans, and even shorts won’t raise eyebrows if it’s very hot. However, I have come across an issue with a new, young employee, Jane. She likes to wear tank tops, which make her large chest very pronounced. I didn’t […] The post how do I talk to an employee about her clothing? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: Almost every company I’ve worked for in my 15+ years in the corporate world brags about being “family friendly” or something similar, but this usually translates into childless people getting treated differently and/or poorly. I know that being from the midwest, this might be a regional problem, but it’s one I’d love […] The post the “family-friendly” companies I’ve worked for were only friendly to employees with kids appeared first on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Should I quit with nothing lined up and pull from my retirement savings? I need to consider leaving my job without something else lined up, and I need a trustworthy gut-check. I’m 43 and have worked in a small consulting firm for 13 years. It […] The post should I quit with nothing lined up, working for a friend, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes: I’m a manager who has what I’d thought was a generous habit: often when someone on my team hits a milestone, ends a difficult project, or just seems like they could use a morale boost, I give them gift cards (to coffee shops, restaurants, bookstores, etc.). I figured everyone likes free money. […] The post I give my team gift cards — but they don’t use them appeared first on Ask a Manager.