About to lose your entire world? There's insurance for that. Just make sure that this is included in your coverage...
Want to read the fine print? Related literature concerning Making a Claim by
@trailofleaves.bsky.social is available in Archive of the Odd Issue 5!
![--archivalAssistant[AA] TO arcaneTyrant[AT] AND caliGraphic[CG] at ??:?? am--
AA: Followed the slime! Where are y’all?
CG: slime??????
AT: Please tell me the slime didn’t get anywhere important. The paperwork would kill me. Bee‘s at home. I’m in the Breakrooms. I‘ll meet up with you.
CG: guys what
AT: what was that
AA: Do you have a trash can near you?
AT: EV W̵͔̺͌H̴͖̬̒A̵͎̔T̸͈͛ WAS THAT NOISE
AA: Okay so I need you to grab a trash can and a broom.
AT: MULTIDIMENSIONAL ARCHIVAL STUDIES D̷I̵D̶ ̷N̷O̴T̶ ̵P̸R̷E̸P̷A̴R̶E̴ ̶M̸E̶ ̵FOR THIS
CG: can someone tell me what’s going on](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:aaacivr5u5odlgobnltblqny/bafkreigrectpdg54wvltxm53su2cvn5tatd7gjom75t22wx2zb6vkn6avu)
![CG: can someone tell me what’s going on
AA: Aww...
AT: A̴͖̻̘̲̞̿̒̓A̷̡̤̩̮̾͆A̴̛̫̭̙͆̚͜A̴̜̠͊̔̽Ą̵̱̹̥̚Ä̸̗̞̯̹̒̒͜A̶͖̿́́̈́̄A̵̙͑̚
AA: Don‘t worry, boss. Its more scared of you than you are of it.
AT: I‘m sure it‘s super cute when it‘s not CORNERD AND H̶I̷S̵S̶I̴N̷G̵ ̸Ȁ̷̛̭͇̜̱͓̲͚͋̽̅̽́͜T̶̙̟͍̖̆̒ ̶̮̋Ḿ̸̨̛͂̇̔͑̋Ẹ̶̡̛̿
AA: Remember, it’s all for the documents!
CG: oh he’ll do anything for the documents!
--arcaneTyrant[AT] left the chat--](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:aaacivr5u5odlgobnltblqny/bafkreiew7xl6xec3fne47gvzdxlhiaktycj22eqdyzbuiiebcfcv5tofte)
![. !!! ALERT in ARCHIVE ROOM 1 !!!
--archivalAssistant[AA] TO arcaneTyrant[AT] at ??:?? am--
AA: So... don’t freak out.
AT: no
AA: One of the artifacts escaped.
AT: What do you mean “escaped”
AT: They’re objects
AT: They don’t escape
AT: They don’t even have brains
AA: Tell that to the missing ‘object’ from ????.01.11.1a
AT: The KULLEN? I thought we had that because it’s a tipping hazard. It was a hold from the FTC.
AA: Well when you think about it, walking is kind of just tipping and catching yourself.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:aaacivr5u5odlgobnltblqny/bafkreifpxyew7dz2wygx6suy2k7ratbpidh7odc2yrfji7xzz2rlm2f55q)
![AT: …
AA: Okay, some good news! It’s trailing viscous black slime.
AT: HOW IS THAT
AT: G̷̹̜̿Ǒ̷̖̕O̸̳͔͑͊D̴͎̈́ NEWS
--archivalAssistant[AA] left the chat--](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:aaacivr5u5odlgobnltblqny/bafkreicgwp64kq4jf6d4mbhpwo3znheaqvayjsrfzffkccmz7gxomhmony)
![Image of a pesterchum-like chat client. Chat reads:
--arcaneTyrant[AT] TO caliGraphic[CG] at ??:?? am--
AT: Hey so I appreciate your work and all but I ask you please to not bring your pens and such into the Archives. It’s strictly against protocol. And can you clean up if you’re working on something? There’s a trail of spilled ink in the middle of the stacks.
CG: ??
CG: wdym
AT: What do you mean “wdym.” There’s ink.
AT: Ink is like one of the worst things to bring into the Archives
AT: Like up there with fire
AT: We can set up a workstation for you, if you need the space. Lay down some newspapers, or something.
AT: Just not the ARCHIVED newspapers.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:aaacivr5u5odlgobnltblqny/bafkreif6uita4i65azuxdchwrm5juhz34md7dnr3eh2iodh6xtfhzjpyli)
![AT: Just not the ARCHIVED newspapers.
CG: i mean i didn’t bring anything into the archives. i’ve been on wfh for like two months now??
AT: ??
CG: you didn’t notice?
CG: wait didn't you sign off on that
!!! ALERT in ARCHIVE ROOM 1 !!!
--arcaneTyrant[AT] left the chat--
CG: :(](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:aaacivr5u5odlgobnltblqny/bafkreieon4el3h54f6jchwxm242ppjfkbwjl6nkpgzsse4uuoi4ugt5p4y)
![A muddy, sepia-toned fake business card reading "Do you have information about [a smudge obscures the words.] Call the confidential tip line at 502-755-6381. You are our eyes and ears. Call now." A shoe print overlaps with the top text.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:aaacivr5u5odlgobnltblqny/bafkreifck2a6o7duxtirhsgyhawdxa2kvliwxlrv3qi7x2n7qff7q7pjn4)
