iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

#CelebrityTraitors prediction: Unless she's a traitor, Hannah Fry will be murdered sharpish. Alternative prediction: Despite her otherwise being the smartest person around the table, she'll be relentlessly wrong about everything. (Admission: I have no idea who at least half the "celebrities" are.)

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I've just watched Gladiator II. I'd heard it was bad but, Jesus Christ, it's BAD.

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Chinny Honk @chinnyhonk.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Bloke on Radio 2: "It was in the 80s that I met my now-beautiful wife Sylvia". Presumably she's had cosmetic surgery in the intervening years.

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

Tonight, Barcelona casually put five past Feyernoord, who are ranked 34th in Europe by UEFA. Tomorrow Manchester United are playing at home against Sabah, ranked 137th. Anything less than a right tonking will be a hang-your-heads-in-shame embarrassment.

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

"Oops. Cash doesn't work this morning. Nobody can touch it, give it to anyone or buy anything with it" would be ridiculous. So why do we just shrug and accept it when a bank has an IT failure that means its online banking apps, cards, ATMs and in-branch systems don't work for a whole Monday morning?

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

10 acts you've seen as support acts Sutherland Bros. & Quiver Sutherland Bros. & Quiver Sutherland Bros. & Quiver Sutherland Bros. & Quiver Sutherland Bros. & Quiver Sutherland Bros. & Quiver Sutherland Bros. & Quiver Sutherland Bros. & Quiver Sutherland Bros. & Quiver Sutherland Bros. & Quiver

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

Three men set off on a camping trip, but shortly before they arrive at their destination their vehicle breaks down, so they have no option but to return home somehow.

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Hwaet @cog1.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

Porn parody of a classic novel Knickerless Nickleby (watch her do _all_ the boys!)

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 31/07/2026

For anyone puzzled about what Ceuta's status is, it's neither a colony or overseas territory like Gibraltar, nor a full Spanish region like the Canaries. It is, though, an integral part of Spain and the EU too (but outside the Schengen space). It's an "autonomous city", like Melilla to the east.

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

I do get why people have found The Odyssey to be emotionally unengaging, but it's hardly Nolan's fault that Odysseus, when all is said and done, was a bit of a knobhead.

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

The £0.025 piece of kit that will transform any guitarist, according to Brian May

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 19/07/2026

It's interesting that the anti-Argentina/Messi sentiments on social media are far more virulent in other countries than they are in Spain, where you'd think people would have more reason to stir it up. In fact, people here (except some rabid RM fans) are expecting a tough but fairly fought match.

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

Thomas, Thomas. You got the memo about not sitting on a one-goal lead with half an hour to go, I take it? Good. Now, can we talk about banking a four-goal lead at half time and then conceding three in 20 minutes?

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

Are England going to completely Spurs this?

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

Spain left France in ruins.

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

Conclusions from Man Ut'd first preseason game: Harry Amass is ready to be a regular first-team squad member. Nobody else is, including many of the regular first-team squad.

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

Today I'm wondering whether it's not just Tuchel's lack of ambition but also a question of team spirit. Is it a coincidence that both Spain and Argentina's coaches were promoted directly from the national youth teams? De la Fuente has been coaching Rodri since he was 14!

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 13/07/2026

That Jeff Goldblum quote that's all over here today is irking me greatly, because "the lengths he will go to still blame the boy" should be "the lengths he will go to to still blame the boy" or - if that "to to" makes you wince - "the lengths to which he will go to still blame the boy". Sheesh.

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

A sodden leather football in the 1960s weighed up to kilo - more than twice what the balls in current use weigh, so here's hoping Harry Maguire and his contemporaries don't eventually suffer a similar fate.

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 06/07/2026

What we want from the next match: Two Lukaku tap-ins, a De Bruyne thunderbastard, and red cards a-go-go to be appealed ad infinitum. What we'll probably get from the next match: Something even more tedious than what we've just watched.

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bleary @bleary.off-the-records.com · 06/07/2026

This is a real end-of-an-era World Cup. So many legends who might be nearing the end of the road. Ronaldo. Messi. Salah. Modric. FIFA. America.

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 06/07/2026

This is the first World Cup ever - since 1930 - in which the quarter finals will not feature at least one of Brazil, Germany, Holland and Italy.

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 05/07/2026

I'm not saying Norway's play is slow, but if YouTube's 1.25-speed playback were available for live football, we'd all be on it like a shot. #BRANOR

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 05/07/2026

Odegard's shot just skimming the top of the bar there.

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 05/07/2026

This is all very well, but I signed up for the silky skills. Where are the silky skills? What we want is them silky skills, them Rivelino banana kicks, them Socrates and Jairzinho and Zico and Junior. And this isn't that. #BRANOR

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 04/07/2026

"Low block", "catenaccio", "parking the bus"? Just call it what it is: "that's not entertainment".

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 04/07/2026

"If you keep the ball on target, you give yourself a massive chance of scoring a goal." #ITVPunditry

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 04/07/2026

Speaking of refs bending rules to suit "the modern game", when was the last time you saw an indirect free kick given for obstruction? I think for me it was in the fourth-round FA Cup replay between Leeds and Liverpool at Elland Road in 1972.

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 04/07/2026

If your shoulder hurts a bit, Bono, it might be related to the perfectly legal shoulder charge you were just on the receiving end of. #StopMollycoddlingKeepers

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 04/07/2026

The hydration breaks are an annoyance, but they're nowhere near as annoying as the mandatory ten-second shots of Infantino just sitting there WHILE THE FUCKING BALL IS IN PLAY. #CANMAR

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 04/07/2026

Proper extra time that, for once.

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

Oh, Cristiano Ronaldo, just fuck off.

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

All a bit dull so far. Not like-the-last-match dull, but a bit dull nonetheless. #ARGCVD

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

A cracking comedypen that. Keep going, lads!

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

Pens! Some comedy misses, please. At least two, preferably more. Nobody cares who wins. All we ask after two hours of that is for some proper entertainment.

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

The commentary throughout this game: "Oh, this could be a ... *nothing at all happens* ... but..."

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

Didn't Salah use to be quite good at this attacking lark? Wha' happen?

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

I don't think I'm being churlish by suggesting that one of these two being in the last 16 while Germany, Holland, Croatia and Ivory Coast have been sent home is a bit rich.

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Archie Valparaiso @archiev.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

Manchester United v Norwich City - here we go!

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