iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 18/08/2026

My latest on the absurd lengths we go to protect our children from everything except other children smashing into them covered in cake.

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 04/08/2026

All I want is an eight person tent for my four person family that has never gone camping ... And other thoughts of a dad in his late 30s.

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 03/08/2026

Wife: Who's playing Odysseus? Me: Matt Damon. Wife: Who? Me: Jason Bourne. Wife: Gotcha.

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 28/07/2026

New work out about owning these "famous" houses of literature. Can't afford to buy? Don't miss this rental with brand new flooring and an eccentric live-in landlord.

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 28/07/2026

A couple consists of one person who never checks the weather and the other who carries an umbrella every day.

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 27/07/2026

America: Hey look, we're putting chicken eggs in the fridge. We're so quirky and interesting. Right? Right? Rest of the world: [rolls eyes]

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 26/07/2026

Instead of a second coffee, I'll go do some minor electrical work I'm completely unqualified to attempt.

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 25/07/2026

A perk of being married to a writer is that my wife gets a mediocre poem for her birthday instead of something she wants or even needs.

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 24/07/2026

Bats always look like they're flying for the first time.

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 22/07/2026

Until AI can get my 6yo to eat something other than bread and pasta don't bother me.

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 22/07/2026

Nothing says out of touch like me running my heated bathroom floor 24/7 in anticipation of being included in a localized stomach bug outbreak.

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 21/07/2026

"Put it in your bits!" my 5yo shouts every time I make a joke my wife laughs at that she doesn't understand. I know I should tell her it's "... one of your bits," but she kills with that line.

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 17/07/2026

Forget the horse, HER NAME IS CHESAPEAKE?! That writers' room is on fire.

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 17/07/2026

Entering my "tweaks back just thinking about working out" era is quite confronting.

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 15/07/2026

Red sky at night, sailor's delight. Red sky in morning, sailor's warning. Red sky all day, sailor's dead.

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 15/07/2026

At least this ever-present threat of diarrhea didn't cost me a mortgage payment to daycare.

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 14/07/2026

Homer: It's about this guy trying to get back home. Homer's Partner: That's nice. Homer: Well, more things happen.

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 25/06/2026

I wish I received more emails from businesses I purchased a single item from.

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 22/06/2026

Me: How do writers find such good epigraphs for their work? Ph.D.: Read these 90 books in 6 months. Me: Oh.

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 13/06/2026

Summer is repeating the question "Is that a tick or an ingrown hair?" to your partner until you both get lyme disease.

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 11/06/2026

Am I legally required to visit REI having spent the day at a climbing gym and Trader Joe's?

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 01/06/2026

Me: I'm reading 2-3 books a week for comprehensive exams prep. People: I haven't read a book in years. Me: [continues writing literary fiction for "wide audience"]

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 31/05/2026

Being a father in the suburbs who does not care about lawn maintenance or golf is incredibly isolating.

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 31/05/2026

You guys! They're going to cure lactose intolerance this fall! We can all relax now!

An oddly specific fortune from a fortune cookie that reads: "Your dreams will come true in October."

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 30/05/2026

The time between the semester ending and our kids not yet on summer break is always a personal challenge because my wife knows I have no excuse to do the chores she's asked me to do since January.

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 13/08/2025

There are too many ways to make coffee.

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 12/08/2025

I take a deeper breath trying to catch second hand cigarette smoke than I do before submerging in water. #SmokeFreeSince2014

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 10/08/2025

Today I turn 35, an age I've told people I am for months because I genuinely forgot.

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 08/08/2025

Anyone have the data on if squeegeeing one's shower door is actually doing anything?

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 06/08/2025

People: I know I'm late, but Sinners (2025) is great, and I want to talk about it. Me: I know I'm late, but Don Quixote (1605 & 1615) is great, and I want to talk about it.

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 28/07/2025

Anyone know who the patron saint of getting sand out of water shoes in time for camp the next day is?

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 21/07/2025

Me: My kids need to try new foods. Also me: Who ate MY left over biryani?!

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 10/07/2025

The moral of Home Alone is that parents can leave a child (8yo and up) and go to Paris. The kid will be fine.

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 09/07/2025

My 5yo attends an art camp from 9:30 - 11:30 a.m. That's it. That's the joke.

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 08/07/2025

Me: Time to finish this epistolary novel draft before the semester beg— Short Satire Ideas: LOOK OVER HERE!

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 07/07/2025

Can we please workshop the phrase "gift link?' The subject of these articles are not exactly in keeping with the holiday spirit.

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 29/06/2025

Before kids: I'm an atheist. After kids: Please Allah, Jesus, Thor, Whoever, let there be more goldfish in the pantry.

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 28/06/2025

Nothing makes a kid bored faster than receiving the toy they asked for.

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 26/06/2025

Wife: What's your @mcsweeneys.net piece about? Me: How our daughters can't be whatever they want. Wife: ... Wait, what?

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 25/06/2025

Introduction my latest in a long line of writing distractions. "Doc Seuss"

Unrelentingly adorable husky/golden puppy.

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 21/06/2025

After much debate with the kids our new puppy's full name is "Doc Seuss" and sometimes "Doc McStuffins" when my 4yo forgets.

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 20/06/2025

Fighting my kids to get in the car for their summer concert they demanded I attend is peak parenting.

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 06/06/2025

I wish I had the confidence my 4yo has who repeatedly affirms "I can do that" while watching videos of Simone Biles compete.

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 04/06/2025

My Creativity: We only think on the page. Me: [literally every second away from my desk] Is that a story? Should I write that?

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 03/06/2025

Me: What do you want for dinner? 5yo: Are you sad your mom died when you were little? Me: ... yes. 5yo: Chicken nuggets. Me: ... 5yo: [walks away]

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 17/05/2025

My 4yo is prancing around the house with her recently acquired library card assuring everyone she "can pay for that."

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 12/05/2025

Being in a car for more than 6 minutes with a preschooler is equal to all the interrogation training they do at Quantico.

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Reposted by Andrew Belfry

Hector Diaz @iamhectordiaz.com · 08/05/2025

A Chicago Pope implies the existence of an MLA Pope and APA Pope

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 30/04/2025

Me: Now that the semester is over, I don't have to read these long books from the 18— Also me: [opens Crime and Punishment]

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Andrew Belfry @andrewbelfry.com · 29/04/2025

Poets know more names of flowers than botanists.

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