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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss)

@allisonwyss.bsky.social
4.2K followers 3.9K following 2.6K posts

I don’t think I’ve been lost. she/her And a book(!): SPLENDID ANATOMIES (Shirley Jackson Award Finalist, 2022) www.allisonwyss.com

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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 13h
I asked about it and a teacher said, "well, maybe they shouldn't be in a movie that has all that language in it." This was a silly answer, but it did introduce me to the important idea that you're not off the hook, morality-wise, if your job or boss "makes" you do something.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 13h
In catholic elementary school, I was fascinated by the question of whether actors got dinged in their heaven/hell points for swearing when they were in character.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 16h
Devastated to report it was not that hard and made a really big difference.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 17h
Complained about computer speed and husband reminded me to restart it every decade or so. This is violence.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I have nothing smart to add. But you all should know I keep I wheezing about “how many models do you run?” To the pope! To the pope!
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Wtf with starting a new season with amnesia so we have to watch a character re-figure out everything we learned last go round.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Oh I did!
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
I spilled salt on the floor and forgot to clean it up. My husband came to check on me. He thought I had spilled hot oil. But I thought he was worried I had encountered a ghost.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
After deleting the map apps from my phone I realize how weird it is that I was using them to get around my own city. Turns out I know these streets! And the few I don’t, well, I can only learn them by getting lost. Turns out I missed getting lost.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I feel like my life would be (ever so slightly) less chaotic if I could remember who calls me Allison and who calls me Allie.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Death is wild. It's coming for all of us, completely unknowable, looks pretty bad--yay, I'll handle that by just not thinking about it too much.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
The child observes that rolling a joint sounds like an injury.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
A friend once said of a new driver’s license picture that it looked like a mug shot after she murdered her husband and I thought: goals.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Maybe part of it is pancakes/waffles internet brain, that you can't say "hey, I'm glad I put this effort into something that works for me" without "oh you don't care about people with different circumstances, huh?"
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I have several times seen the “don’t politicize my tragedy!” mentality when folks who’ve put in a lot of work to drive none or less talk about that during the time of high gas prices.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I kind of like her to stay in my basement and eat whatever grosser things are down there. Just in a different corner this time!
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I don’t want to kill the spider by sucking her up with the vacuum. I simply want to destroy her home and the food she labored to procure.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I have a bunch of training videos to get through and I can't decide if I should eat popcorn or cookies as I watch them.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I think it’s nice that the ice coffee discourse waited until hot coffee season (for me) so I don’t have to crave it so strongly at every take.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Yeah, there could be something I don’t know about the history or usage of one of those phrases. I jumped at it because it reminds me of people who are so passive aggressive in what they say that they’ve trained themselves to find insults where they doesn’t exist.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
The options are “pardon me,” “excuse me,” “beg your pardon,”—and someone thinks one of those is rude? I can’t handle people like that. Sarcasm can make anything rude but none of those are rude on their own.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
My husband busted out Jay’s Mother Mother Fuck song for the kid the other day. We’ve been together 25 years and, still, there is mystery.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Wild.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I was recently informed that, when trying on clothes, if it doesn’t fit, you don’t even have to look in the mirror. This is going to change my life.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
My middle school experience would have been improved by more swearing and pushing.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I asked the child how middle school is going. She said she likes the swearing and the pushing.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I remind myself that’s the whole reason it’s a _written_ form—that you’re not SUPPOSED to be able to hold it all in your brain at the same time.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Oh god. I do that all the time. Also I make a note to add x (meaning 1 time!) and I eventually see that I’ve added it like six different places.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
It’s not even that hard to start over completely, but I find myself chasing whatever decision I made previously and THAT takes a lot to wrangle.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
An hour of edits to the wrong draft like a fucking amateur.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
If you arrive early, you need to lurk just out of sight, pretending to read something on your phone. Geez.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Middle school bus casually rolling up 15 minutes early. Where are your manners??!!!
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
What a delight!
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Maybe fiction IS the multiverse. Whoa.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
- / but no X. It’s the story of my life.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
I often suspect those books _are_ written well, if the reader is enjoying them so much. It’s just they’re not in the style that we’re all taught to admire.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
If you cheered from afar when Minneapolis fought ICE, you’ve got to include trans folks in your plan for liberation. People here know why, saw trans people risking their lives to block fascists who were coming—that time—for someone else. It’s called goddamn solidarity people.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Billionaires seem to fantasize about sitting all alone on a heap of treasure, but a lot more of us dream about a future with a thriving community.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
I think people aren’t necessarily good at sorting what is in their interest. But I also think most people agree that their interests include the good of other people.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
And not because whatever oppression will come for me next but because because I care about other people? My community is better because of them?
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
It’s also so fucking insulting for a candidate to expect that all I want from government is personal protections for myself and not rights for everybody. Some people are that selfish but I really don’t think most are.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
It did suck! Terrible mess and expense and the heartbreak of lost labor when it was the first time I tried to do that with CSA plus my own pathetic garden. But my god what a trivial end of the world compared with everything since.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
About ten years ago our chest freezer crapped out and I lost a whole summer’s worth of prepped vegetables. Young Allie felt like that was the worst thing that had ever happened to her. Ha Ha Ha! What a fucked up decade!!!
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
I’ve kept so many scoldy thoughts to myself lately somebody please give me a cookie.
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Reposted by Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss)
mollypeonies @mollypeonies.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
NEW! How MPD Built a Police Surveillance Operation Around Renee Good’s Memorial — and What It Cost the Community MPD dedicated 101 personnel to a memorial deployment where just seven people were holding vigil. It was part of a four-day MPD operation that generated $1.92 million in overtime.
thisisbydesign.com
How MPD Built a Police Surveillance Operation Around Renee Good’s Memorial — and What It Cost the Community
Records reveal a coordinated system of drones, city cameras, command-post intelligence, body-worn and helmet cameras, person and vehicle checks, and evidence preservation around the memorial site as p...
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
I know it's not personal and all that but it really is hard that my kid finds me so goddamn embarrassing all of a sudden.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
The short answer is: Absolutely just as long as the long answer if I’m the one giving it.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
It never feels good to let some asshole save face by pretending they’re just too good for whatever it is, but if it makes them actually leave?
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Computer robots are smart enough to end the world but my phone somehow thinks this is the right tone to take with me.
Screen capture of push notification that says: The Washington Post. ICE is quietly firing new hires. For one recruit, it was devastating.
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Who You Gonna CAll? (-ison Wyss) @allisonwyss.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
That link died so I'm re-posting and re-pinning this review of my book (Splendid Anatomies) that I can only read if I want joy to fill my heart such that it overwhelms me and I fall down in intense but exquisite pain. (But that probably won't happen to you! It's just a good read.)
tupeloquarterly.com
Power and Vulnerability: A Review of Splendid Anatomies by Allison Wyss
There used to be a horror movie critic in the pink section of the San Francisco Chronicle, Joe Bob Briggs, who would end his reviews with a tally of boobs, bodies, and pints of blood spilled — more be...
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