iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 03/10/2026

Every time you think the Telegraph has reached peak hypocrisy they manage to outdo themselves. This is outstanding work. Have they ever read The, er…DailyTelegraph?

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 30/09/2026

This must be, up against some pretty stiff competition, the most depressing headline I have ever seen:

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 24/09/2026

I love this. I mean, call me Miss Shercule Colombo-Christie-Spade, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and say he did it. Thank god they had a couple of days to review the footage.

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 24/09/2026

Amazing idea Kemi. I know how much you hate the 'Big State' & value 'personal freedom', & I can think of no better illustration of that than telling the poor what to spend their money on. But why not concentrate instead on making work pay enough to make it worthwhile? Who knows? It might just WORK.

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 22/09/2026

Whatchoo talking’ about Willis?

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 22/09/2026

Thought I’d share this little exchange with a ‘fan’ to brighten your morning:

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 19/09/2026

Stop threatening me with a good time Daniel. Your record in this area is hardly stellar.

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 17/09/2026

Oh come on. If you don’t like Sadiq you can do one. That is an absolute masterclass in shade throwing:

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 17/09/2026

Just wondering. Do they call it a ‘Convenience fee’ cos they know they’re taking the piss?

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 16/09/2026

Can’t help thinking Andrew Watts, a follower, is a touch confused.

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 16/09/2026

Why Louie, why??? Honestly. Absolutely nothing to see here. Move along now.

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 15/09/2026

While Netanyahu must take his fair share of blame (and if he really was warned about Oct 7, that should include prison,) the one thing the last year has proven (as if it was ever in doubt) is @therickwilson.bsky.social ’s assertion:

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 14/09/2026

Want to feel old? Loadsamoney has grown up, put on a suit and tie and now runs The Reform Party.

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 10/09/2026

I am as much a fan of the artisan sourdough as the next glutenaholic. But sometimes, it just has to be shit white bread with melting butter, and nothing else will do

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 08/09/2026

In much the way I always felt too many people despised Farage for him to ever become PM, I’m slightly wary of the amount of ‘Is this the end for Farage?’ type articles I keep seeing, especially given the cosplaying stormtroopers marching round our coasts. He still a malignant, despicable threat.

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 06/09/2026

Seven year old just dropped a 3m wooden spar on the end of my finger. Thinking of giving him the front gate for dinner. After last Monday’s ‘standing on a nail’ incident, this has not been a good week for injuries. 😫

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 05/09/2026

I will do so the moment I’ve finished “#Miawtoo: A Cat’s Tale” by Asteroid Destroyer. (Yes. We let the children name the cat.)

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 04/09/2026

I see The Telegraph are now ‘splashing’ the Farage story with all the alacrity of a parachutist exiting a plane without their rucksack.

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 04/09/2026

Sorry to report the dog’s behaviour around the cat has now become so inappropriate we’re trying to work out the feline word for ‘Angela’. Who would have thought?

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 03/09/2026

Arch-negotiater Frosty here, who can’t even negotiate the mood of his own front page:

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 02/09/2026

Might that possibly be because he’s…a criminal Stephen? Please stop threatening the vast majority of the world’s population with a good time.

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 02/09/2026

Yeah Nige, you see we have to complain cos we don’t get to throw a tantrum and call a by-election when we are investigated for breaking the law.

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 01/09/2026

No matter how screwed up it is, the NHS remains a complete bloody miracle. Stood on a nail earlier. Through my heel. Somewha painful, fair bit of blood. Just took myself off to Urgent Care at QE2 in Welwyn. In, out, cleaned and jabbed in half an hour. God bless Nye Bevan. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿❤️

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 01/09/2026

It will come as a shock to no one, but as someone who has eaten in military canteens all over the world, US army catering is uniformly recognised by everyone else as 'Fucking awful'. Too much sugar, not enough nutrients &, considering armies march on their stomachs, a massive drain on morale.

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 27/08/2026

(Oh, and speaking personally, how about getting rid of all those anonymous troll bots off Instagram - private profile, no pic, 0 followers, following 0 - who exist purely to spread bile? I know imaginary friends are very common but I would have hoped Zuckerberg might have grown out of them by now.)

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 27/08/2026

Oi! META!! As well as child safety measures (which of course I support, but will believe when I see,) how about some adult ones too? Let’s start with re-employing all those moderators you laid off because Musk got away with it. How about removing hate speech & misinformation? And less ads. Etc etc…

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 27/08/2026

The photo. And my ’multiple issues’.

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 25/08/2026

If you want proof god doesn’t exist, Donald Trump is 80, and still President. 😢

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 22/08/2026

I view the Edinburgh Comedy Award as rightfully mine 2002/4/7/9/12/13/15/18/19/21/22/23/26, but that doesn’t make it true.

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 22/08/2026

Not gonna lie. This has been the toughest Fringe I have had numbers wise since 2004. But the show is excellent. Sorry to be that arrogant, but just read the reviews here. I love performing it - I would just like to do so to a bigger crowd. Last show today 15:50. www.edfringe.com/tickets/what...

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 21/08/2026

More audience reviews. Imagine they all work for National Newspapers. Even if they don’t. 😁 2 shows left. If you’re in Edinburgh, I’d love you to come. 15:50 Hoots@Hilton Bread St. Tickets: www.edfringe.com/tickets/what...

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 20/08/2026

More frankly gorgeous comments from audience members for ‘Rabbits Don’t Fart’. Only three shows left - Hoots@Hilton, Bread St Edinburgh, 15:50 til Saturday. Would L😍VE to see you there. Tickets: www.edfringe.com/tickets/what...

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 19/08/2026

I have BIG MEDIA in today. And TINY CROWD. I was toying with the idea of shutting down sales in the hope of that magic 'Why is this unheralded genius spinning gold before empty chairs' review but I think we all know a preferable option is punters. If you're in Edinburgh, please come!

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 19/08/2026

Ah bless you mate. You're a gent. (And you've actually been to see a show, unlike some of my more charming and erudite online commentators... 🤣)

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 18/08/2026

Why we are utterly fucked as a race beautifully summarised in one headline:

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 18/08/2026

I bet they’re not that keen on speaking freely when they have to explain how they embezzled their own donors.

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 18/08/2026

I mean sometimes you just have to stand back and applaud the sheer commitment to getting things wrong There’s something quite brilliant in fitting that many mistakes into four words. Five stars (which is half a star more than I got in an actual review yesterday.) Well played. 15:50 today. 👏👏👏

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 17/08/2026

This is officially the worst day to sell tickets on the Fringe. Scottish schools go back, it’s Monday, even the weather looks annoyed. So if you’re in town and need cheering up, you could do this old clown a huge favour by cheering him up and coming along. www.edfringe.com/tickets/what...

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 16/08/2026

Oh come on. That’s up there with Alistair Barrie faces £10 bill for lightbulbs’. Although I imagine they’ll get some form of grant and I won’t.

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 14/08/2026

Considering how likely a Farage victory was in his fight ‘against the Estsblishment’ (a bin…) it is quite hard to see how Reform could have fucked this up any more. Yet still they managed to. In the immortal words of Clive Anderson to Jeffrey Archer, “there really is no beginning to your talents”.

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 13/08/2026

We are no longer a serious country and much of the blame for that lies with Nigel Farage. Sometimes I’m ok with the first part of that sentence, but never with the second. #votebinface

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 05/08/2026

I am unable to comment on this headline because I appear to have undergone a seriously debilitating MPO. (Multiple Punchline Overload.)

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 04/08/2026

Tonight my wife took the kids away. I put a martini in the freezer, walked the dog, completed the martini, made myself an exceptional steak dinner with home grown veg and an extremely good bottle of red wine which I finished while watching The Elephant Man for the first time. I win Tuesday.

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 04/08/2026

Luckily, this is quite cheering.

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 03/08/2026

Popping down to Rochester for a last quick Edinburgh preview tonight. Here’s the poster. And the ticket link: wegottickets.com/f/23871

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 03/08/2026

Oh no! Not Dickie too!? Say it ain’t so. Clearly a vendetta by the Establishment, scared of liberty, democracy and free speech. And in no way a cabal of right wing grifters who’ve been fraudulently larking about in public view for the last decade. How dare you suggest their pants are on fire? 🔥🔥🔥

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Alistair Barrie @alistairbarrie.com · 01/08/2026

I mean awful, obviously, but I genuinely wasn't aware there WAS a legal limit for cocaine. 🤔 I guess they do things differently in Dunfermline.

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