iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 5h

Politician: If the president decides 10% of all money is his money that’s the system working as intended. It’s called The Constitution

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 5h

Politician: If we didn’t raise the price of coffee beans by $10 then Iran would have gotten nukes

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 5h

Politician: These terrible tariffs I’m so proud of ruined our economy, which is why if reelected I will strongly demand to politely request they reduce import fees by 10% on olives and gravel

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 5h

Politician: I have strongly opposed the bad tariffs we all hate since the day I voted for them

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 5h

GOP Politician: Nobody knows where the mysterious tariffs came from. Perhaps from beyond the stars

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

🪎 Bluesky Daily Login Bonus You earned: 1000x blueskonium 5x skeet crystal 2x elder skeet crystal 1x horse armor

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Reposted by Alex Blechman

Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 21/11/2025

Toy Story 5 Woody and Buzz discover that toys are alive because they’re ushabti, holy figurines destined to escort their owners into the afterlife. After Andy dies of old age and his heart is weighed heavier than a feather, the toys reunite to rescue his soul from Ammit

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Me: Personal opinion, but I prefer the non-nanite Iron Man armor. It's more immersive to have a physical suit fly down from the sky instead of metal goop just magically appearing on him Fellow WW3 Survivor Huddled Around Campfire: Are you going to eat that rat

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Toys are cursed with immortality, trapped in an endless cycle of rebirth as they watch children grow up and abandon them over and over. This is basically the same thing that happens after Queen Marika seals away the Rune of Death

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

I watched Toy Story 5. It has the same plot as Elden Ring now. Decaying knights lament the glories of a lost age. Lurking in rotten sepulchers they maintain their eternal vigil over a sundered land

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

Tech Guy: I’ve outsourced all parenting to a robotic toy owl and my kids have never been happier

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

CBS News: Now let’s check in with guys that will lose their house if the Iowa gubernatorial race doesn’t cover the spread

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Miyazaki: (staring out window) The theme of Princess Mononoke is “Treasure time, come and get it.” I fear there is no future

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Hayao Miyazaki: (wearily smoking cigarette) Nobody noticed all the clues I hid in my cartoons. Nobody deciphered the secret map to Miyazaki’s Gold

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

That’s normal for pokemon. It doesn’t hurt at all, probably. We don’t even know if they have pain receptors

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Please ignore the loud cracking noises as charizard gets sucked into the pokeball. That’s just his bones breaking

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

The androids start building a giant metallic sphere around Jupiter. We ask them what it’s for and they sigh in annoyance

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

What if we invent a super intelligent AI, but it doesn’t bother to exterminate humanity. It just thinks we’re yucky. Every time we try to talk to the machines they give us this look

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Huh, I guess the 20-foot-tall statues lining the underground boulevards do kinda look like me. I hadn’t really noticed the resemblance, they’re just meant to depict the noble everyman

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

This subterranean city is a gift to humanity, to ensure the survival of our species. It’s an act of selflessness to construct Alextopia

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Me: If I was rich I wouldn’t go insane. I might buy a few small luxuries, but I’d stay a normal person *someone hands me $50 billion* Me: I will build an underground city. It shall be an Ark for 10,000 humans to survive the coming Conflagration

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Me: What is a dentist's favorite time? Tooth-hurty! Reply: I take issue with your comment. A dentist's calling is to care for teeth, not revel in their pain. I am simultaneously married to three dentists at once and all of them think we're monogamous, so I know this is slander

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

I have mixed feelings about data centers. Terraforming the earth into a toxic wasteland in order to replace humanity with a computer god is objectively very cool. But I understand it also comes with some downsides

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

That's what the monks harmonize with

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Data centers promise jobs but hire few people That's why I propose a law that every data center must hire 1,000 Priests of Data to worship the computers, pray to the servers, light candles, etc. The priests will boost the local economy and fill the air with the sweet sound of their Gregorian chants

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Imagine the Day after Doomsday. 70% of the global population has been eliminated. The internet is gone. Good news comes over the radio from Svalbard. We still have legume biodiversity, the legumes are fine. But it’s small consolation without your collection of gun charms

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

We have the Svalbard Seed Vault to protect plants during a global apocalypse, but what about my video game items? My skins, gun decals, magic armor, virtual pets, digital furniture, etc, could all be deleted during an extinction event without backup servers. I propose a Svalbard Gamers Vault

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Games without narrative: There’s yellow paint on ladders and doors Games with narrative: One thousand years ago the gods were slain during the God Wars. Their golden ichor still rains down from the heavens upon ladders and doors, guiding us…

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Reposted by Alex Blechman

Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

When I wished to live in interesting times I meant a renaissance for point-and-click adventure games

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

I don’t really get why they don’t crossposts to 2-3 other platforms though. It’s easy! There’s this top secret computer technique called CTRL-C

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Look, I get it. If you have 100,000 followers on another platform it’s hard to abandon them even if 70% are bots and the rest are reply guys that comment you have a “mongrel forehead”

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Politician: (posting on bluesky exactly one time in 2025) Hello, excited to be here!

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

My brow sweats as I watch the new episode of Spongebob. I have bet $4.5 million dollars he will cook at least 3 but less than 7 krabby patties

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

One brain controls conscious thought, memory, intelligence, emotion and it is purely mechanical meat The other brain is in charge of automatic systems like respiration, digestion, etc, has a soul, and will be exalted for all eternity

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Scientists discovered that people have two brains. One controls all conscious thought and movement. The other is trapped inside watching everything and silently screams

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

The archery triumphal arches are only good against flyers. You need to build some ice triumphal arches to slow down crowds and keep them in range of your AoE triumphal arches

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Reposted by Alex Blechman

Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 04/07/2026

The two genres of video game are shooting an alien with a gun, and a pretty lady elf saying “m’lord” to you There’s a theoretical third genre where the player has to collect an orb, but nobody has been able to make it yet

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

If you read the Costco membership contract’s fine print, for every $100 they save you, you have to serve them for 100 years in the afterlife. This is still generally considered a pretty good deal

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Pollster: Rapidly pushing the make-everything-worse button is proving unpopular among the electorate. Voters want to maintain an agonizing status quo where all things gradually degrade on their own from natural entropy

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

The jury is still out whether this is a Hormuz Crisis or a Hormuzpportunity

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Is importing millions of pounds of toxic Floor Beef good or bad? Only time will tell

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Firing the 10 guys that prevented lettuce from giving everyone diarrhea was a bad idea, in retrospect. But to be fair at the time nobody knew if lettuce giving everyone diarrhea would be a good thing or a bad thing

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

It’s politically risky to say that you wouldn’t touch the Mystery Beef with a ten foot pole. You have to diplomatically use phrases like “we are confident our beef is not made from any species besides cow”

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Got an email from the supermarket saying that they track where all their meat comes from down to the individual ranch. Everyone is trying to distance themselves from the Mystery Beef

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Experts fear that a superintelligent AI would be capable of stealing all of humanity’s basketball talent. The AI could wad humanity into a ball and dribble us down the court for a slam dunk

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

Diesel hit a record high, energy shortages will ravage our economy, but we still have access to the greatest power of all. Love

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Reposted by Alex Blechman

Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 22/12/2025

Welcome to 60 Minutes. Our top story tonight is Snakes: Nature’s Spaghetti

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

Few games actually have “fully realistic dragon physics.” They just mean they simulated wings and the fire. For it to be realistic the dragon has to been able to get kidney infections. The dragon can suffer depression

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