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Craig Almond

@alarmingcod.co.uk
418 followers 1.7K following 790 posts

Unfluencer.

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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 23/09/2026
With three teams taking on the Peak District Challenge we raised £3,600 for Manchester Mind over the weekend. So, this is how I'm going to work today...
Craig, but with blue hair.
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 18/09/2026
If you're feeling generous you can support our cause here. justgiving.com/page/manches... Although I am now beginning to consider this statement I made a few weeks ago, a little incautious.
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 12/09/2026
This time next week I'll be bleary-eyed, and stumbling over stiles, somewhere between Castleton and Peak Forest after an overnight trudge around the moors above Ladybower. Can't wait. justgiving.com/page/manches...
Map of the Peak District showing the Peak District Challenge- Silver Route marked out in red.
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 09/08/2026
Yesterday's Ramblings: 20 miles on the Ribble Valley Jubilee Trail- From Rampsgreave and Wilpshire Station to the White Bull at Gisburn. Long slog of a day, especially in the steadily increasing heat. No photo, but the Downham Ice Cream shop in the village of Downham was a lifesaver
On a hilltop somewhere above Whalley.

Foreground, Grassy hill top with a scattering of boulders. A green metal 3 seater bench, facing away from camera. Next to a sculpture of a silhoutted parent and child. Child (shorter figure is waving). Both figures built in now rusted metal. 

Next to the sculpture is a metal post co-opted by the raise the colours brigade. Flying the tattered remnanats of a union flag, tethered to the post by cable ties.Screenshot of map from strava. Showing part of the Ribble Valley centred around Clitheroe.

Orange line of route heads broadly NNE from foot of map over darker area of Pendle Hill.Stats from Strava.

Distance 19.72 miles
Moving Time 7hrs 13
Pace 21.59 mins/mile
Elevation 2744 ft
Calories burnt 3,189
Elapsed Time 8hrs 36
Steps 35,530
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 06/08/2026
A new book. A pint. The pub backroom to myself. Does life get any better?
Michael Connelly's new novel- Ironwood and a pint of bitter. On a hammered copper pub table.

In an otherwise empty pub back room.
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 01/08/2026
Happy Yorkshire Day!
Map showing the traditional 5 ridings of Yorkshire 

West, North, East, Lincoln and Lancaster.
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 01/08/2026
Well, there's a nice little pick me up to start the day. Didn't know @manchestermill.bsky.social had started personalising messages
Screenshot from my email inbox

From: The Mill
Subject: Craig wins
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 19/07/2026
Rudolph the Eldritch Nightmare
A bough of a tree painted with a red nose and black eyes,
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 01/07/2026
Well, folks. Looks like I'm back on my #SpineRace bullshit.
Photo of a pc screen.

Main message reads "You have succeyentered the Montane Summer Sprint North 2027"
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 26/06/2026
Taken a while but the US posts about air con are starting to filter thru.
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 22/06/2026
Sunderland blues crooner, Chris Rea, cradles a guitar.
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 12/06/2026
Fingers crossed.
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 28/05/2026
Dr who generator 5th Dr title sequence. Scattering of stars on a black background.

Text: the gang watch Adric die
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 28/05/2026
Dr Who title sequence generator image.  Using the 4th doctor title sequence ( blue diamond) and th title "well it all went downhill after..."
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 23/05/2026
Hiya @muttoneer.bsky.social Welcome Aboard! One tip, look at getting the For You feed. And second tip, try and use alt text
Screen Capture of my feeds list

Discover
Following
Popular With Friends
FOr You
The Spine Race
The Barkley Marathons
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 22/05/2026
Nice to have something to work toward. www.peak-district-challenge.com
Online receipt for entry into the Peak District Challenge September 2026- 75km version.
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 20/05/2026
That should do it
screenshot of muted words list
championship
football
premier league
arsenal
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 12/05/2026
Mmmmmm-mmmm. Gotta love that old fusion cuisine...
Screen shot of Booths Supermarket (bit like Waitrose, but for northerners) website.

Picture of a Strawberry Charlotte Desert, overlaid with the wording "Strawberry Charlotte Recipe: A different way to enjoy haggis"
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 09/05/2026
#Uncanny
Sign saying Haunted Happenings, in food another sign saying Old Hall
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 07/05/2026
Happy Let's Give Labour a Kicking/ Find Out Where the Racists Live Day
The door to a polling station
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 30/04/2026
Yes, it's a literary pilgrimage. But it's also crackin' little boozer.
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 22/04/2026
A few nights away. The eternal question Am I taking enough books?
Stack of 6 paperback books, on a table.
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 17/04/2026
I don't believe.... etc etc @meldrewpoint.bsky.social Going to stare at a wall blankly for a couple of hours, then head to the pub.
Screenshot from Meldrew Point Calcalculator (https://public.tableau.com/app/profile/neil.richards/viz/meldrew/MeldrewPoint)

Reads:

You are 19,537 days old, or 53.49 years, and you are closest of all to your Meldrew Point.
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 02/04/2026
I guess the Daily Mails only problem with Trump is he doesn't wear the right coloured shirt.
Photo of Daily Mail front page from 1/4/26

Headline: Trump's taunt exposes a pm without a plan
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 01/04/2026
20 spins round the sun completed for this soppy idiot. Happy Birthday, Mr Kitty.
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 13/03/2026
I remember when a tenner was five pints and change. Now it's two pints if you're lucky. And all this was fields...
Simpsons- old man yells at cloud meme

Simspons character hand shown holding a newspaper clipping. Featuring headlne "Old Man Yells at Cloud" and picture of Abe Simpson, yelling at a cloud.
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 19/02/2026
Awww man, What a day to bury good news...
Screenshot of guardian news story.

Picture: Peter Mandelson

Headline: Global Counsel calls in Administrators, blaming Mandelson maelstrom
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 09/02/2026
UK Archers Fans? Well you can fuck that shit sky high for starters.
Screenshot of Blue Sky Constellation Map

Closest cluster for this account is UK Archers Fans.

Fuck. My. Life.
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 05/02/2026
Should've linked to this
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 03/02/2026
No, sorry. After 15 minutes of fly throughs on Google Earth, I think Aisgill is the likelier location. Warcop Fells are similarly shaped but too far from the railway line. Looks more like the Gregory Chapel, High Seat, High Pike Hill/ Mallerstang Edge group
OS Maps screen grab. Showing the Mallerstang Stretch of the Settle Carlisle Rail line, and surrounding hills
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 17/01/2026
He's still out there, he's still racing the red lantern. C'mon Juan! #SpineRace
Screengrab of Spine Race Tracker showing Hareshaw Area north of Bellingham on the Pennine Way.

Marker 221 (Juan Patanja) is a mile ahead of the black marker showing the relative position of the Red Lantern (Slowest known completion time)
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 15/01/2026
C'mon, Juan and Kev, you got this.
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 14/01/2026
Yeah, it's exciting that Eugeni is motoring through the Northumbrian forests. But my full sympathies are for these guys racing the red lantern all the way back at the halfway point. #SpineRace #Dotwatching
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 11/01/2026
And away.... #spinerace
OS Map of Edale village, showing starting tracker positions of spine race participants, just as the race started
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 03/01/2026
He's just after a little more lebensraum, is all.
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 01/01/2026
Bollocks...
My 2026 word is kind-hearted
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 28/12/2025
Post a perfect album from the 90s that isn't nirvana, soundgarden, pearl jam, or alice in chains.
The Shirehorses

The worst album in the world...ever ...ever
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 25/12/2025
Merry Xmas everyone. May all your bottoms stay dry.
Paul Hollywood Xmas tree bauble.
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 23/12/2025
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 20/12/2025
#DrWho pilgrimage
Blue plaque.

Delia Derbyshire lived here
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 20/12/2025
What? Like a fat drunk?
Telegraph headline.

"It's time critics saw Boris for the Churchillian figure he was"

Illustrated with a picture of the prick.
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 19/12/2025
Where am I?
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 07/12/2025
Today I shall mostly be... pressure cooking Xmas puddings
3 foil wrapped Xmas pudding basins

Infront of an r2-d2 themed instant pot

On a countertop
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 04/12/2025
C'mon RTD! Write this episode!
Sky News Headling
Photo of a blokes head and shoulders

Healdine reads; "Doctor Who Supplied Ketamine to Late Friends Star Matthew Perry Jailed"
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 24/10/2025
Exploring the rainforests of Borrowdale. I'm lichen it.
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 11/10/2025
Went out for a walk. Found a brewery. So there's a win.
Black and white sign lodged in a hedgerow.

Drawing of a full pint glass surrounded by words 

Thornsett Brewery and Hopyard
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 03/10/2025
Do we know her view on pens yet?
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 27/09/2025
Planes over Estonia, drones over Denmark Perhap's Kenny was right all along?
Dodgy screengrab of Kenny Everett wearing a pair of giant fake hands at tory confereence some time in the long ago times
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 26/09/2025
Dead-eyed fucker wouldn't know soul if it came up and bit him on the arse.
Grauniad headline "Kier Starmer to warn labour that battle with reform is "fight for soul of nation"" above picture of keef stammer
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Craig Almond @alarmingcod.co.uk · 22/09/2025
Ffs, frog-face hates cake toppings as well.
Daily Telegraph newspaper front page. The usual bollocks plus the headline "Farage: I'll kick out hundreds of thousands"
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