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AlanSmithee

@alansmithee1956.bsky.social
5.8K followers 6.5K following 9.7K posts

Lucky heathen ⚛️ husband and father that punches up instead of kicking down. I often use profanity like punctuation. No DMs, porn or sales pitches, please. Really helps to have a bio and at least some original posts of your own for a follow back.

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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 8m
Got an email from the organizers of the No Kings I’m attending Saturday with advice on parking, etc. heh heh, it’s in the town I work in so I’ve got a permit to park and a restroom if I need one. I expect I’ll be standing in front of the office. 😏
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 10h
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 10h
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 14h
Is the best that’s yet to come still coming?
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 14h
Gee, they better hope they don’t have to hire criminal defense lawyers too.
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 17h
Pirate goes into a bar wearing a ships wheel as a belt buckle. “What’s with the wheel?” asks the bartender. “Arrr, it’s drivin’ me nuts.”
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 17h
I may start referring to Kimberley Guilfoyle as Rizzo for all her hard work in Greece.
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 17h
It looks like she has some prominent thyroid cartilage.
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 17h
static.klipy.com
Bob Anakshie Minion Says Bye-Bye
ALT: Bob Anakshie Minion Says Bye-Bye
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 17h
Who has the more punchable face, him or Teddy Cruz? Not that I advocate such behavior. As far as anyone knows.
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 17h
No question about it.
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 17h
Beeeecause they’re crazy?
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 17h
Promise?
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 17h
Do the meth
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 17h
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 17h
But seriously, I saw a recent clip of Shatner. He’s 95 and looks around 70. He may actually be from the 23rd century.
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 18h
GFC
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 18h
I signed up for the one in the town I work in so I know right where to park 😏
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 18h
I’m willing to bet you did it better.
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 19h
Kristi Noem: I’ll take @ellalangleymisc over Kacey Musgraves any day. And if I’m choosing’ Texas, I’ll take Ken Paxton over James Talarico. Kacey Musgraves: I don’t think you have a dog in this fight but if you did you would have shot it.
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 19h
Elon Fucking Musk
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 19h
There’s one of those in our office.
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
Come on natural causes!
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
He is one of the ones that has done more damage than the rapistpedophilecunt he reports to.
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
Was his grandfather here legally? His mother likely came? His current wife?
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
Fight as if those numbers are inverted.
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
Pfff. Go after Kraznov. His grandfather likely came here illegally. His mother likely came here illegally. Poison fruit of the poisonous tree.
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
🥰
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
This didn’t age well. But then again, neither has she.
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
✊
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
Symbiotic relationship
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
I would love for him to have another wack at that piñata.
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
Elon Fucking Musk
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
I would prefer there to be criminal investigations and imprisonment if convicted.
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
✊
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
🥰
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
Unfortunately, up to this point that’s been true.
static.klipy.com
Times Are Changing Jhene Aiko
ALT: Times Are Changing Jhene Aiko
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
That’s fucking brilliant
static.klipy.com
Tyler Hynes: We Have A Winner!
ALT: Tyler Hynes: We Have A Winner!
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
Prosecute every fucking one of those pieces of shit.
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
The best for us. The worst for her.
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
We’re “vilifying the rich”? Yes? What’s your point, you POS? Don’t know if anyone ever told him but he can’t spend all that money in the tomb.
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Acretrader?
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
She really said that? If so, her mind is beyond salvage.
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Documented or undocumented? Oh, do you mean extraterrestrials? Not sure they’d be eager to pick up our trash but I guess we can ask.
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Elon Fucking Musk
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AlanSmithee @alansmithee1956.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
As a man, I’m in no position to judge or understand a woman’s feelings on the issue. But I am perplexed.
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