iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Gavin Sheets to the San Diego Marine Layer

It’s official: Ticket acquired for Saturday against the Brewers and The Miz. Padres, do us all proud and take that “Mason Miller as a starting pitcher” down PLEASE 🙏 😭🤞❤️ GO PADRES!!!

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San Diego Padres Player

ALT: San Diego Padres Player

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AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 9h

The San Diego Padres have 2 postseason Wins

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Feminist Proper Gander @dappergander.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

A sentence that begins "in a Facebook group run by her chiropractor" is never going to end well, it's an incredibly cursed assortment of words

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AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

The San Diego Padres have 1 postseason Win

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AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Time to bring in Casey Mize to save the bullpen

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AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

“Save some runs for tomorrow NO. Score 30+ runs. Make the Cubs use every single pitcher they have

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Darth Sidious Hologram: Wipe Them Out

ALT: Darth Sidious Hologram: Wipe Them Out

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AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

“PCA”? More like “WTF” amirite?!? 😭

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AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

With all the drugs that are free-flowing in this administration it’s kinda baffling that he’s always tired at this time of day when he knows he’ll be on his favorite thing: TV

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Pyrocynical: They're Dumb As Hell!

ALT: Pyrocynical: They're Dumb As Hell!

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AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Cubs should 1000% trade Seiya Suzuki to the Blue Jays before tomorrow’s game 👀

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AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

“You think kids have it bad now with daily mass shootings? I was made to endure a far worse fate: Bop-It”

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Reposted by AlanPadres

Annie @fatbottomgirlbakes.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Mark should be allowed to make fart noises the whole time Kershaw is speaking, the way he makes animal sounds when Don reads the K-9 promotion script

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AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

The San Diego Padres end the 2026 Regular Season with 91 Wins

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AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

AND THEN THEY DRIED THEIR LAUNDRY TWICE, SO NOW IM WAITING TWICE AS LONG FOR THEIR SECOND DRY CYCLE TO FINISH

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Daft Punk Daft Cunt

ALT: Daft Punk Daft Cunt

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AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Randy Vasquez gonna throw a shutout to spite the Padres for choosing dogshit Mize and Ray over him

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Maximus: Are You Not Entertained?

ALT: Maximus: Are You Not Entertained?

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AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Pro-tip: If you’re going to use all 3 washers in the laundry room, set a fucking alarm so they aren’t all sitting there for 15 minutes on a Sunday afternoon when several others are trying to do laundry

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Cunt You Are A Cunt

ALT: Cunt You Are A Cunt

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AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Nothing like a good ol military Sunday to give the Padres good luck heading into the playoffs 👍 They should detonate a nuke off Point Loma to show the Cubs they mean business!

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Drill Sergeant Swartz: Let's Go!

ALT: Drill Sergeant Swartz: Let's Go!

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AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

The San Diego Padres are on pace for 91 Wins

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Reposted by AlanPadres

David Medina @davidmed.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

We have made the following roster moves: #Padres @padres.com

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AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

The San Diego Padres are on pace for 90 Wins

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AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

The San Diego Padres are on pace for 91 Wins

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AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

None of my coworkers last night had seen the movie Alien, and several of them didn’t even know who Sigourney Weaver was . . . 😭

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Conan O'Brien: I'm A Thousand Years Old

ALT: Conan O'Brien: I'm A Thousand Years Old

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AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

I love my job, I love my coworkers, I love being able to help kids and be part of interesting and meaningful work every single shift. I am so grateful for it all 🙏❤️

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Joker Nurse

ALT: Joker Nurse

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AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

The San Diego Padres are on pace for 90 Wins

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AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

And here I thought it was a good thing when Fernando Tatis Jr. finally started hitting like an MVP

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AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

The San Diego Padres are on pace for 90 Wins

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AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

The Padres are a Triple-A team

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AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

The great thing about the ads that MLB chooses to show you is that because MLB is a corporate demon husk you can trust that every single company advertising can’t be trusted

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Anchorman: It's Science

ALT: Anchorman: It's Science

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AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

RFK Jr: “I will personally investigate this male masturabation epidemic, but first let me eat this dead possum’s rotting anus”

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AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Not only are the Padres shitting the bed and playing like they’ve never played baseball and thus destroying my hopes of a deep postseason run, but I also get to listen to gutter trash political ads between the shit show

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Kartik Aaryan: I'm Lovin' It McDonald's Heart

ALT: Kartik Aaryan: I'm Lovin' It McDonald's Heart

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AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Us down 4 in the 2nd inning: “We’re still in Slam range, LFGSD!!”

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Nerd Ackchyually Meme

ALT: Nerd Ackchyually Meme

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AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

My face after a hellish night and I’m trying to finish report on my last patient, I’m already in overtime, and the nurse keeps talking/getting distracted with other people and laughing all while they ALSO have a student AND they’re a charge nurse and I’m just like “can I finish so I can go home!?!?”

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Peyton Manning's C'mon Man Moment

ALT: Peyton Manning's C'mon Man Moment

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AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

“This was only after the original rebrand, Three-Fifths Compromise Park, was widely criticized”

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AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

The San Diego Padres are on pace for 90 Wins

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Reposted by AlanPadres

Sarah Langs @slangsonsports.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

At 20 years and 110 days, Ethan Salas is the youngest MLB player with a walk-off hit since his current teammate Manny Machado on 9/13/12 (20y 69d) He’s also the youngest player with a pinch-hit walk-off hit in at least the last 50 years

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AlanPadres @alanpadres.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

The San Diego Padres are on pace for 90 Wins

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