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lucy rowan holmes

@absobloodylucy.bsky.social
1.4K followers 128 following 1.1K posts

formerly lucy (from scotland). still lucy, still from scotland. your local librarian. there are many like me, but this one is yours. host of begaysolvecrimes.com shutterbug glass.photo/absobloodylucy

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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 6h
so my fridge has broken down, and the resultant Defrosting Anxiety is seeping not only into the floorboards but also into other non-fridge related thoughts. “Hey, your clothes are thawing out as we speak. Probably oughta take out the bins before they melt. Enjoy your cold shower with no ice, moron”
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 12h
listen,
"uses vintage typewriters functionally. probably owns vintage typewriters"
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November Kelly @postoctobrist.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
aw jeez
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Mia Mulder @miamulder.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Oh you betcha
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
she is everything to me
margie from fargo
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
breaking a nail is so annoying because if i break my index finger nail i look like a coke fiend and if i break my pinkie nail i look like i play the banjo. how is anyone supposed to know i'm a lesbian
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Camp Miasma too popular, Jane flying too close to the sun, i should never have to hear a friendly cis coworker ally in the library WHO I HAD *JUST* MET feel confident enough to say the words "It's sorta about Autogynephilia, right?" to me in a laid back sunshiny smile-on-his-face way
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
not to brag or anything but i brought a batch in for my library coworkers and one of them took a bite and literally started crying with joy, so 💅🏻
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
this was the only version of alice in wonderland i knew existed until i was about 10
the white rabbit, a horrifying taxidermy monster who is eating sawdust to re-stuff himself but the sawdust keeps falling out of a hole that is torn in his stomachtiny shrunken alice trapped in a china doll tries to desperately pry her dress from the teeth of a sentient animal skull with legs having eaten the biscuit that makes you normal sized again, alice tears her way out of the body of a giant china dolla traumatised alice hugs her knees in a dollhouse she’s now too big to escape, while the white rabbit and his cronies hurl stones at her through an open window
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Be Gay Solve Crimes @begaysolvecrimes.bsky.social · 07/04/2026
how it feels to chew 5 gum
steve buscemi
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
anyway i logged off to bake some Honey Biscuits yesterday. they're sorta like snickerdoodles. i tried not to remember everything bad that's ever happened to me. i really tried.
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Clever Mia @readvesna.com · 01/10/2026
Well, here's what's gonna happen. You're gonna click the link and open up the steam store. You're gonna purchase Lovely Lady RPG at a very generous 20% discount either for yourself, for a friend or loved one, or for your group's Grungler. That's it. store.steampowered.com/app/3567040/...
a screenshot of mike from breaking bad in a car
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Dan Olson @foldablehuman.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
People like to talk up how complicated and twisty the ending of American Psycho is, but the message is very simple and clear: real estate agents will gladly help you cover up a murder.
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
maybe we call it "looking up to someone" because i was supposed to have grown out of doing it by now
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
libraries have this thing where we often donate books to local prisons (unambiguously based), but we’re asked to limit our choices only to crime/thrillers/scifi/fantasy/contemporary fiction, and to actively exclude all family saga, romance, and “chick lit” which… lowkey sucks? idk
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November Kelly @postoctobrist.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
pink panther is definitionally trade. He works in insulation construction etc. And he's DL even if he isn't fooling anybody.
Everything a spectrum so just choose love
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
how it feels to be a sensitive young punch bowl
inspector clouseau dressed as a knight in shining armour, while a pantomime zebra drinks from a punch bowl behind him
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
i feel lucky to have grown up in a time when my childhood aspirations to be the lead writer for Doctor Who were only unrealistic due to steep competition and my not being married to a tv producer, rather than due to god's densest ghouls replacing all writing jobs with the Key-Jingler 3000
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
fuck it. 2027 will be the year of Lucy's Belated Ballerina Arc. i will grind my brainworms into dust beneath my pirouettes
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
how am i only just now this very second learning that Studio Laika is doing a stop-motion animated adaptation of susanna clarke's Piranesi????
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
dysphoria brainworms are so weird because i've got The Ballet Yearning again but the thing i'm most scared of is not how revealing leotards are but instead how tight and slicked back your hair has to be for a ballet bun?? even bangs have to be pinned up! transphobic, frankly
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
lucy's typo of the week: bottomless samosas
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
cheerily queuing up to have a kalashnikov pointed at my head knowing full well i'm gonna pass the post-revolution vibe check by answering the single question "Is a hot dog a sandwich?"
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
one of my earliest memories: i am 3 years old and my mum is pregnant with my sister. she takes me with her to her ultrasound appointment. i watch the pretty sonographer lady put gel on my mum's baby bump. i ask if she can check inside my tummy for a baby too. she does so. my mum squeezes my hand.
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
i love big family weddings. i love seeing dozens of happy couples and their adorable children. i love being asked multiple times in a row when i'm gonna have a baby. this is really good for my mental health i think.
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🎃Marley, a Werewolf of Wall Street 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈✍️🌕🐺 @marleywrites.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I didn’t know this, and this kind of publication would be a huge help to those of us who are trying to create a whole novel while holding down a day job.
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Long Local Librarian’s Ramble on the whole “Where Is TV’s Great American Novel” discourse is that traditional publishing is mechanically set up to prevent Great 19th Century Style Novels ever happening anymore, and tv studios are about to repeat the mistake
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Van Helen
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
writing this off as a business expense for my new job as a foley artist on the world’s first onlyfans to have dolby 5.1 surround sound
binaural microphone in the shape of a human head on a pole, with alarmingly realistic ears
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
ancient piece of dog wisdom that goes “the grass is always greyer on the other side”
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BOOles @awawa.pics · 26/09/2026
there are two genders, c-41 and b/w. e-6 is an unholy perversion
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
god you’d think a priest would know better than to wear white to a wedding 🙄
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
i dunno how to articulate this without sounding completely insane but being in england feels weird to me because the sky is to low??
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
they’re calling her the girl with exactly one (1) wedding fit
me! sky blue blue polka dot dress, pink wedges  and shawl
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
lucy lore: Coraline was always my favourite cosy halloween film, and an annual rewatch for years. all my gfs pretransition would ask me what i wanted to dress up as for halloween, and i’d shrug and deflect but there was always one consistent alarmingly unvoiceable answer: “…Coraline, obviously.”
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Peter @notalawyer.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
i really can’t bring myself to care about AI anthropomorphism debates. “is AI thinking?” i don’t know. is a calculator calculating? questions for the philosophers. what’s important is that we put sam altman in prison.
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Crowsa Luxemburg @quendergeer.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
does the omelas kid have to be innocent or can you chuck a real shithead in there
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
took me aaages to get through this roll of 50iso slide film because i was convinced i’d nuked it with an airport CT scanner like an idiot. turns out it was more robust than i feared! glad i didn’t just rush through it in the end
scattered rose petals on paving stones a shining streetlight fully lit against a blue midday skya chair leaning against a tree with a rope hanging from a nearby brancha feather caught in a rusted chain and a padlock, casting a shadow on stone
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
look i know “christmas shopping season starts too early” is a cliche but fr i honestly can’t describe how genuinely depressing it feels to have society seemingly call time on a year a full four months before it’s fucking over
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
my heart is an orphanage and there’s room for you all, you assholes!
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
likewise apropos of nothing, i also think it's SO cool to threaten to Fire & Rehire 23,000 public sector employees unless they accept the pay cut, doesn't make me want to be sick at all
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Mia Mulder @miamulder.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Hällo, are ju rädy to be säd?
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
🎵SECRET TUNNELLLLLLLLLLL🎶
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
i want it on record that when i sometimes use the term ‘transsexual’ over ‘transgender’, i am motivated first and foremost by my deeply held political conviction that it is a) very funny and b) lowkey a little bit chic
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
i 100% would've still imploded anyway but sometimes i spook myself by contemplating how much longer i would've tried to Tough It Out if pre-transition lucy had been able to grow anything even vaguely reminiscent of a respectable beard
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
lucy’s typo of the week: self esteem boots
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
“some have never known a private provider to reject a diagnosis.” breaking news: people willing to bet £895+ that they have adhd turn out to have adhd
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
asking my straight poly friends “and how are the twinks? :)” like a mum making small talk in a nursery car park
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lucy rowan holmes @absobloodylucy.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
facetiming someone this morning & she seems... tense? like the energy is all off, so i'm like "hey are you okay?", and she just sighs and says "look i was in the middle of watching Challengers for the first time and you called literally just as things seemed like they're about to get REAL freaky"
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