Sign in

Abraham Gutman

@abgutman.bsky.social
2K followers 225 following 973 posts

A civil courts reporter at The Philadelphia Inquirer. PACER obsessed docket sleuth. Send me gossip to agutman(at)inquirer.com and Agutman.96 on Signal.

PostsRepliesMedia
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 1h
I have very silly and personal mental issues that prevent me from becoming a union fan, so they don’t count.
110
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 1h
October has been a celebration in Philadelphia in recent years. It’s supposed to be Red October for crying out loud. So far this month: Phillies loss embarrassing elimination game to the Braves. Eagles destroyed by the Bears 3rd string and lose to Jaguars with 8 seconds on clock. Flyers lose 6.
110
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 14h
hahahahahahahhahaha no
050
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 20h
*to* the… you can expect me to type correctly in times like this
000
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 20h
Because this Eagles game was in London Sirianni is officially an international criminal and should be sent The Hague.
1100
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 20h
AS I WAS SAYING
050
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 20h
JAKE ELLIOT NEVER MISSED A QUICK
000
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 21h
2024 Eagles: inventing new ways to win. 2026 Eagles: inventing new ways to lose.
061
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 21h
It’s not fair that it’s illegal for the Eagles to score points in the second half. The NFL should change that rule.
050
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Last time I had so much fun watching football the Eagles won the Super Bowl.
010
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Though a screen pass to Kenny Gainwell on 3rd and long is giving me PTSD.
000
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
This Cowboys game is a joy to watch. Go birds.
130
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Idk rewatched Australia recently. It’s pretty electric. It also changes the math because you need providers. I like it.
100
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Didn’t watch last night (we are Thursday night people) but as big survivor fans here is my thing — we need to get that memory loss thing from MIB and use it on all contestants before every season. It’s all becoming too meta and self aware. Just play the game. Maybe starve them more idk.
110
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Deadbeat-maxxing.
030
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
I am the Michael Jordan of napping. But every night, when it comes time to go to sleep, I become Shaq on the free throw line.
120
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Bottoms up. www.inquirer.com/news/new-jer...
inquirer.com
A South Jersey man found a dead rodent inside a Monster Energy can, lawsuit says
Teddy Soto's lawsuit against the companies behind Monster and Bang energy drinks says the South Jersey resident wasn't the first to find a rodent's carcass in a sealed can.
000
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
The things we men do for an excuse to text our friends.
000
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
So you are saying there is a game that will give me little joy but also destroy most of my Sundays? Sign me up four times!
100
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Fantasy football is the ultimate “losses loom larger than gains.” You lose and feel like an idiot you didn’t know that a certain player will get injured in a game. You win, do a little hehe, no one cares and it doesn’t really make you that happy.
100
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
In news that absolutely no one cares about, and no one should, I won 4 of my 4 fantasy leagues this week. I’d like to thank my parents, my wife who always supported me, and Tet McMillan.
160
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Last point, rich Hollywood people need to have some of us normies read their scripts. The first scene annoyed me so much. Find me a wrestling match, sporting event, or anything venue that allows you to bring a giant black backpack inside. It’s a nightmare to bring a bag into an event!
000
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Bummed me out.
100
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
If it was a funnier movie, or a bit more self aware, Emily Blunt’s performance would have had great. But it was supposed to be sincere and impactful? Ugh. The boyfriend is the only good character.
100
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Really weak and incoherent action film that isn’t even really entertaining and basically amounts to “Alien Autopsy is a documentary.” Few lame attempts at grappling with disclosure consequences. More space Oprah on earth than sci-fi or sociological thriller. Bad.
100
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
As a disclosure guy, I was so excited to watch Disclosure Day. My wife and I did last night. It’s *so* bad. Reminded me of Clint Eastwood’s Juror #2. You have an excellent premise, and filmmakers destroy it with every choose they make. I really hoped for Don’t Look Up for disclosure. Joke’s on me.
110
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
The @phillynewsguild.bsky.social ratified a new 3 year contract! Raises? ✅ Bonus? ✅ AI protections? ✅ Faster vacation accruals? ✅ All won, not given — and I couldn’t have been be more proud to fight for my incredible colleagues at The Philadelphia Inquirer at the bargaining table.
inquirer.com
Philadelphia Inquirer employees secure new union contract with raises and AI protections
Under the new three-year contract, members will see healthcare costs increase for the first time in 20 years, the union said.
0113
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
The America Revolution was fought so Kylie Kelce can call that lady whatever she wants. www.inquirer.com/eagles/not-g...
inquirer.com
Kylie Kelce is Philly royalty, and now she knows how to address the Princess of Wales
Kelce and Catherine, Princess of Wales have a lot in common — field hockey, motherhood, and life in the public eye. And now the royal's been duly invited to chat about it on Kelce's podcast.
1367
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
It’s not great. At least it’s over honestly
000
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Every parental instinct I have kicks in when I watch a pitcher struggling.
031
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
If the Phillies can somehow both end the season so they stop torturing me with hope *and* eliminate the Braves it would be ideal.
020
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Welcome.
110
Reposted by Abraham Gutman
Jesse Bunch @jessebunch.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
The Pennsylvania Supreme Court ruled today that the special prosecutor for SEPTA crimes is constitutional. It was another blow to DA Larry Krasner, who said the role unlawfully stripped his office's authority. w @abgutman.bsky.social www.inquirer.com/crime/septa-...
inquirer.com
Pa. Supreme Court says SEPTA special prosecutor is constitutional, another blow to Krasner
A unanimous Supreme Court rejected District Attorney Larry Krasner's argument that the SEPTA special prosecutor law is unconstitutional because it strips away the authority of an elected DA.
001
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
No. She is learning every day that we give groups of athletes that we never met, and who are unaware of our existence, our mental wellbeing on a platter to do with as they which every year — just like God intended.
100
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
My 8 year old daughter went to school today with a Nola jersey. If that man disappoints her…
140
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
as I always said... and no one on earth can find any proof I ever said differently... never a doubt!!!!! Harper, Bohm, Sanchez, Painter... unstoppable. Showmen all of them. Manager so good they named the sport after him. Team of destiny. We have a Red October in October. Go Phils. See you on Broad.
040
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I ALWAYS LOVER BRYCE HARPER WHO IS ELITE AND I NEVER DOUBTED HIM
050
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
How dare Kyle give me hope?! My heart is not your little toy to play with!!!
0173
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
The Harper game in the worst way possible.
020
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Watching the Eagles lose to San Francisco last year to end the season at 3am from my parents house was BRUTAL
020
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
My guy I think about you all the time. I have Josh Allen in one of my fantasy leagues and I’m like “of course they’d go all the way when he is Madrid.”
110
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
And teach basic basic basic base running ? Just a thought for next year
110
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
He tried to tell us.
010
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
One of my takeaways from the Cornell story is that growing up with access to free video pornography is damaging in ways that are hard to comprehend.
040
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
The Phillies are such a special team that they went into Red October 9-19 and are about to literally miss the month of October.
030
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I SAID IM FINE
010
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I’m fine.
120
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Live footage from Philadelphia after the Eagles get humiliated by the Bears on national TV and Phillies drop game 1 of Braves series in the 8th.
170
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
071
Abraham Gutman @abgutman.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
It’s fine the Phillies are playing the Braves tomorrow, I’m SURE that will be a fun pallet cleanser for the city.
010