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Ann Arbor Pitchbot

@a2pitchbot.bsky.social
808 followers 5 following 809 posts

Grumpy townie since 1983. Sometimes parody is indistinguishable from reality. DM your pitches to pitchbot AT theinternetemail DOT com. they/them

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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Opinion | The Observer should rename the A2View newsletter "Things that irk me, Steve Friess" #a2council by Steve Friess
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Read James Q. Porkchop’s take on M football’s controversial finish against WMU. Check out Prickly Pear’s lost recipe for squash soup. And this local blogger is asking interesting Qs: did Chris Taylor use chemtrails to kill Downtown Home and Garden? This and more in this week’s A2View. #a2council
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
To understand why Yousef Rabhi won the mayoral election, we talked to three campus landlords who opposed Mayor Taylor in each of the last seven elections. #a2council
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Breaking | AAPS reached a tentative agreement with the teacher's union just in time for the new school year. Labor experts give credit for this breakthrough to #a2council candidates Yousef Rabhi and Ryan Bartholomew and their impassioned Instagram Reels.
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
The AAPS school year is about to start. Check out Zing’s recipe for cornbread muffins. And this local blogger is asking interesting questions: Are Mayor Taylor’s bike lanes sentient? Are they conspiring to install a data center inside Northside Diner? This and more in this week’s A2View. #a2council
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Downtown Ann Arbor has a new bakery with a special room just for baking croissants. Some say that’s why the croissants cost $10, but these three campus landlords who voted for Yousef know the actual reason: Mayor Taylor’s war on cars. #a2council
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
#a2council
A Nextdoor post from Ann Arbor Hills, posted 1 hr ago, with the headline: Why the sudden heavy pressure on quickly building these data centers? I asked AI for its answer.
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Reposted by Ann Arbor Pitchbot
NY Times Pitchbot @nytpitchbot.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
Abdul El-Sayed's unabashedly progressive campaign has won him the support of many young Michigan voters. But Frida Drost-Park, who curates a wellness space in Ann Arbor, says that some of his anti-establishment rhetoric leaves her deeply uneasy.
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
We were listening to Yousef Rabhi's victory speech when my 68-year-old landlord turned to me gravely and asked, "why are the socialists celebrating?" And when I told him, "because you helped get a DSA member elected," he started painting over the outlets with a can of flat, beige latex. #a2council
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
Opinion | Christopher Taylor has conceded to Yousef Rabhi. Here's why this is bad news for Yousef Rabhi. #a2council
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
Tax breaks for developers, which I never support, created the housing at 841 Broadway, which I didn't support, and cleaned up the riverfront to make a park, which I said I'd never visit, that I visited to campaign against tax breaks for developers, which I never support. #a2council by Yousef Rabhi
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
Opinion | I have run for office nine times in my life. Here's why I shouldn't be expected to follow campaign finance laws. #a2council by Yousef Rabhi
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
My 69-year-old, DSA-supporting campus landlord was reading Mlive when she asked me gravely, “why is the state board of elections claiming that Yousef Rabhi broke the law?” When I told her, “because the capitalist Taylor Machine’s tentacles go all the way to the top,” she started crying. #a2council
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
Bannister’s dishonest mailers, which I did not support, and Library Green’s illegal ads, which I did not support, and Yousef’s illegal mailers, which I also did not support, wouldn’t be necessary if Mayor Taylor would just Democratize Density, which I do not support. #a2council
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
Opinion | To shake up the local Democratic establishment, we must elect the candidate who has held elected office continuously since he was 22 years old. #a2council
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
The corporate interests running the party will use any excuse to push for deregulating lettuce. Taylor's social media sycophants are like high schoolers wanting to be accepted in some food poisoning cool kids clique—this is just high school politics applied to parasites. Follow the runny! #a2council
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
#a2council
Nextdoor Post:

Mark Lee 14m • Abbot
Chris Taylor? First he ruins Ann Arbor now lettuce?
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
The Michigan Daily Editorial Board has endorsed Mayor Taylor. Here's why that's bad news for Mayor Taylor. #a2council
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
Whether it's the explosion of Mayor Taylor's new highrise developments or the explosive diarrhea from Taylor Farms' salads, Taylor is certainly making a mess of this town. #a2council
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
City staff says the Ann Arbor sewer system is designed to safely handle the projected growth of the next 50 years. But we spoke to a man in a top hat who ate a salad at a Northside Diner a week ago, and he's not so sure. #a2council
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
Opinion | Anonymous social media users are a toxic influence on local politics. #a2council by Sam Rosenthal
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Reposted by Ann Arbor Pitchbot
Adam Jaskiewicz @ajjaskie.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
I printed out Ann Arbor’s whole entire Comprehensive Land Use Plan (including appendices) and read through it. I also printed out the old plan so I could compare it side-by-side, as well as the Natural Features Plan. In my opinion, the new plan doesn’t go far enough to protect trees. #A2Council
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
I’m a lifelong animal lover and dog owner. But unless the Humane Society disavows the cute picture of Mayor Taylor and a rescue dog, I’ll have no choice but to sell these Dalmatian puppies to the eccentric heiress in the fur coat with the evil laugh. #a2council
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
Opinion | I have long supported Elissa Slotkin, who voted to confirm Kristi Noem, a woman who kills puppies for sport. But her endorsement of Mayor Taylor was a bridge too far. #a2council
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
Opinion | Governor Whitmer has endorsed Mayor Taylor. Here's why that's bad news for Mayor Taylor. #a2council
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
Planned Parenthood says it has endorsed Mayor Taylor. A former councilmember who quoted Redemption Song in defense of Jeff Hayner after he used racial slurs says it hasn’t. For busy Nextdoor users, it can be difficult to know who to trust. #a2council
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
MLive News Alert | A group of approximately fourteen residents is outraged by a Luxury Student High Rise project a block from campus. In other news: Feast your eyes on this five-bed, five-bath Arbor Hills dreamboat listed at $1.8m. It’s MLive’s House of the Week! #a2council
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
Some say there's no proof Mayor Taylor has used the Weather Shield to his own advantage by dialing up a heat wave just as absentee ballots are delivered and the city's first splash pad came online. But in this Northside Diner, patrons aren't so sure. #a2council
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
My 9-year-old son was reading ESPN when he asked me gravely, “Dad, why is Dusty May leaving for the NBA?” When I told him “because Mayor Taylor's war on cars besieged Ann Arbor with bike lanes,” he started crying. #a2council
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
Council members and AAPD say that an increased police presence at #a2council meetings is a prudent response to a troubling increase in physical threats directed at CMs. But world-renowned security expert Kathy Griswold is not so sure.
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 11/06/2026
Should Christopher Taylor continue to be Ann Arbor's mayor? We asked a panel of Barton Hills residents and Ypsilanti slumlords, and they're not so sure. #a2council
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 09/06/2026
Between Mayor Taylor's bike lanes forcing the restaurant owner to retire, and Bruce Laidlaw's prosecution of 4th Ave businesses, those in search of an Afternoon Delight will need to look elsewhere. #a2council
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 08/06/2026
Opinion | Communism is when I'm not allowed to annoy the entire neighborhood with extremely loud lawn equipment. #a2council
John James complaining about "Karl Marx Karens" reporting people for illegal use of gas leaf blowers.
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 06/06/2026
Whether it’s More Neighbors A2 sending out a housing questionnaire, or 1st Ward candidate Rebecca Arends laundering her attacks on More Neighbors A2 through Ann Arbor’s most toxic conspiracy blog, it’s clear that both sides have a civility problem. #a2council
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 06/06/2026
My 56-year-old son was reading the A2Indy when he asked me gravely, “daddy why is Rebecca Arends writing Op/Eds for Pat Lesko’s conspiracy blog?” When I told him, “because Arends refuses to participate in gutter social media politics,” he started crying. #a2council
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 02/06/2026
Opinion | Ann Arbor’s population grew by almost 800 residents over the last year, the largest increase in the county. But I also read on Nextdoor that Tios had to close because of a beef with their landlord, so it’s impossible to say whether Ann Arbor is a popular place to live. #a2council
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 02/06/2026
Opinion | As a pro-business Democrat and two-time Rick Snyder voter, maintaining our roads is a critical issue for me. But unless the city immediately opens 4th Ave so I can park my Tesla in front of Sottinis, I’ll be forced to vote for a mayor who thinks private property is a crime. #a2council
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 23/05/2026
In this midwest college town it was tradition: plant national champion buckthorn and fragrant Bradford pears, then have a nice egg cream at Drake’s. Now the woke connectivity gestapo wants to take that all away. #a2council
Fox 2 news headline: Michigan adds bradford pear, buckthorn, and other plants to invasive species list

With a picture of bradford pear trees in bloom
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 19/05/2026
In 2007, I was briefly arrested by campus police for petty trespassing. As Mayor, I will require City workers to follow my example by throwing themselves in front of murderous ICE agents. #a2council by Yousef Rabhi
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 19/05/2026
Opinion | I’m a local banker and lifelong fiscal conservative. Mayor Taylor’s plan to allow duplexes in my neighborhood has caused me to see Chairman Mao’s little red book in a whole new light. #a2council by Strozzapreti Linguini Rotini
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 19/05/2026
Opinion | I’m a lifelong Reagan Republican. But after Mayor Taylor’s shitlibs threatened to allow duplexes in my neighborhood, I began to understand class struggle, the evil of private property, and the imperative of a people’s revolution. #a2council by Lane Jumm (R-2nd Ward)
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 15/05/2026
Opinion | Pulpo Group, a local restaurant group I never patronize, is replacing Molly’s Cupcakes, where I never shopped, with a new locally owned bakery downtown, where I never go. The sale of Kline's Lot will kill our downtown. #a2council
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 11/05/2026
Opinion | The Humane Society, which I support, posted a picture of a cute puppy with Mayor Taylor, who I do not support. In doing so they are breaking campaign financing disclosure laws, which I do not understand (and have broken myself). I am a lawyer. #a2council by Tim Weirdo, Esq.
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
My four-year-old was reading MLive when he asked me gravely, “daddy why did the Maynard St. McDonald's close in 1995?” When I told him, “Mayor Taylor sent a protected bike lane made out of liquid metal back in time to terminate another cherished local business,” he started crying. #a2council
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 05/05/2026
Opinion | House of Chimney Cakes, where I never shopped, is closing its bakery downtown, where I never visit. Sources note their rent increased by 50% in two years, but I know it's actually closing because of the bike lanes on 4th Ave, which do not exist. #a2council
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 30/04/2026
Opinion | Unless Mayor Taylor puts Back up the neighborhood watch Signs, I will have no Choice but to Donate thousands of dollars to Donald Trump under a Fake Name again. #a2council by Strozzapreti Linguine Rotini
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 22/04/2026
This account has 777 followers. Here’s why that’s bad news for Arbor South. #a2council
Profile screenshot showing 777 followers. Like the 777 building. Coincidence? Surely not.
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 22/04/2026
Opinion | Ann Arbor’s oldest Buffalo Wild Wings is closing. Downtown has never felt so corporate and sterile. #a2council
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 20/04/2026
Jordan Acker to join the Weiser Center for Eroding Democracies. #goblue
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Ann Arbor Pitchbot @a2pitchbot.bsky.social · 17/04/2026
In the aftermath of a severe storm, Mayor Taylor shared photos of trees uprooted, pointing to damage from a tornado. But in this Northside Diner, we talked to three townies who were pretty confident of a different cause for the carnage: sidewalks. #a2council
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