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Andy King

@2primates.bsky.social
4.3K followers 4K following 5.2K posts

Occasionally posting up to 300 characters in the hope that some of them make sense. Hope springs eternal in the human breast, apparently.

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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 14h
It’s all very Brexit; announce a grandiose project & tell people it’s going to fix everything without having a clue about how (or if) any of it is supposed to work.
The business plan of the underpants gnomes from South Park:
1. Collect underpants 
2. ?
3. Profit
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Don’t even get me started on Andy Pandy...
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I think you cracked the code.
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Also Andrew Pierce:
An average Andrew Pierce think piece on terrorists & how to deal with them: “Human rights? These terrorists must pay the price!
The Government wants to change the law so 220 convicted terrorists don’t have their sentences reviewed until two-thirds of the way through. Why review them at all, asks our columnist. Lock them up in solitary.”
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Made me think of this guy.
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Now do Xi, tough guys
Photograph of Donald Trump, greeting the General Secretary of the Chinese Communist Party, Xi Jinping. The text “LOSER” has been superimposed over Xi’s image, echoing a Republican anti-Communist meme posted ahead of the 2026 US mid term elections.
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Have you actually *seen* the image she’s “cementing”, Laura? Y’know, the mad rants, the cult leader meme stuff that looks like something Natalie Harp printed out to soothe Donald Trump after a particularly stinging narcissistic injury?
“Kemi doth become leader”. Section from a bizarre Bayeux tapestry-inspired piece of Conservative marketing material depicting Kemi Badenoch as an 11th Century leader with a bird of prey in her hand, towering over a tiny, kneeling, sobbing figure, presumably meant to represent Andy Burnham. Although clearly inspired by the Bayeux tapestry the (AI?) illustration style is more reminiscent of a primary school-age picture book.
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Don’t make me tap the sign.
Shop sign: “You break it, you bought it”.
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Quite a choice for Tim to set himself up as a language cop.
Jordon on Bluesky: 

“Specifics of this story aside, it’s quite something seeing a mainstream journalist using the R word in 2026”
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Telling people with perfect confidence & assurance what the future is going to look like is a form of hubris which often ends up making you look ridiculous. Hannan’s had his chance to find out, but his continued commitment to still f**king around is almost heroic. www.reaction.life/p/britain-lo...
“ It’s 24 June, 2025, and Britain is marking its annual Independence Day celebration. As the fireworks stream through the summer sky, still not quite dark, we wonder why it took us so long to leave. The years that followed the 2016 referendum didn’t just reinvigorate our economy, our democracy and our liberty. They improved relations with our neighbours.

The United Kingdom is now the region’s foremost knowledge-based economy. We lead the world in biotech, law, education, the audio-visual sector, financial services and software. New industries, from 3D printing to driverless cars, have sprung up around the country. Older industries, too, have revived as energy prices have fallen back to global levels: steel, cement, paper, plastics and ceramics producers have become competitive again.

The EU, meanwhile, continues to turn inwards, clinging to its dream of political amalgamation as the euro and migration crises worsen.”
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
The failure of the RAF Fairford incident to live up to the far right’s ready-to-go fantasy that it was asylum seekers who arrived on small boats wot dunnit seems to have melted their brains, which are currently dribbling down the conspiracy rabbit hole where it’s got to be an elaborate govt “psyop”.
Bluesky post by NewsPappy Headlines:
“This is a Bay of Pigs style NutJob CockUp. There's NO WAY to make RAF Fairford make sense. You don't even need to take a sniff..

It's a Right Royal, High Level MI6 FkUp of Benny Hill proportions”

“American Target for a British home grown Psyop in Fairford. A complete load of incompetent old bollocks”
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
If this counts as a "class-war frenzy" I wonder what the people on Planet Spectator would make of the top tax rate under successive Conservative governments from the 1950s through to the 1970s?
"For 15 years of Conservative Westminster power, 1951-64, the top rate of tax was at least 88.75%. Then Ted Heath’s government reduced it to 75%."
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
There is no substance in Goodwin’s “argument” worth engaging with, so I’ll content myself with the observation that a “Boriswave” sounds like something you’d get from a really crap hairdresser.
Photograph of the Boris Jonhnson, showing his trafldemark, carefully-curated dragged-through-a-hedge-backwards hairstyle.
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Mega companies with growth models based on servicing the “total addressable market“ for their products (i.e. capturing a monopoly) are suddenly keen on regulations that would slow down new entrants to that market? Yeah, sounds legit. fortune.com/2026/08/26/a...
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
“No, your bum doesn’t look big in that” & other lies.
“A large bulge could be seen behind Trump's suit”
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
”Culturally, I’m an an ancient Roman.” Perfectly normal thing to say. No red flags there.
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
He tried to look like a good sport about it, but I think getting fewer votes than Sir Oink-a-Lot of the was probably the final straw that pushed Nick over the edge.
“She was followed by the Official Monster Raving Looney Party candidate Sir Oink-a-lot, who polled 159, beating Advance UK’s Nick Buckley MBE by four votes.”Tweet by Nick Buckley:
“Great to meet the amazing & respectful Sir Oink A Lot from the Raving Looney Party” above a picture of a man in a brown leather coat, flying helmet, scarf & goggles wearing a rubber pig snout on his face.
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Yep. And yeet that Chris Mason out of the BBC with a trebuchet while you’re at it.
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
I remember Whately from the Tory govt days always being wheeled out on breakfast TV to defend the govt’s latest cock up & how she always looked on the verge of tears. I wouldn’t be surprised if her ostentatious cruelty was the result of unresolved trauma. She probably needs therapy, not a platform.
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
You may laugh, but generations of children have been traumatised by the furry community’s takeover of the aviation industry.
Cover illustration from Richard Scarry’s illustrated children’s book A Day at the Airport, featuring a selection of anthropomorphic animal characters at an airport.
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
His charming notion that “England“ is synonymous with “The United Kingdom” must certainly have made him lots of friends in Scotland over the years. No wonder he was always greeted with such respect & affection whenever he visted his Scottish golf course…
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Reminds me of the road sign directing traffic to the secret nuclear bunker in the UK.* *which isn’t really as stupid as the sniper ammo store, since it’s a decommissioned nuclear bunker
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
The boss class need them back in the workplace right now. For vitally important things like shaming them for their lunch choices.
Bluesky post by Snigdha: “I am so confused. Apparently it is terrible when young people want to buy lattes or avocado toast, or the poors get a take away rather than eating gruel, but packed lunches are a ‘pathetic office trend’?”
Posted above the headline to a Michael Deacon article in the Telegraph titled “This pathetic office trend [he’s talking about packed lunches] is a damning symbol of Britain’s decline”
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
…& which famously ended very badly for all concerned, including the leaders of the far right parties themselves. If these people were brighter or more historically literate they’d slam on the brakes out of a sense of self-preservation if nothing else.
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
I think they should sack Dominic & offer Nigella his job. Because ideas like this are probably best interpreted through the medium of cake.
Incredible Hulk-themed green cake
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
TFW you really admire North Korea’s attempt at autarky but you’re too dumb to understand it.
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
It’s pretty scummy. To get them back, someone should make a game where you have to catch a bent politician before he pockets big bungs from dodgy donors (no real names for legal reasons -maybe call him “Lionel Garbage” © Troublemaker Games). www.troublemakergames.co.uk/product-page...
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
“...and that was Vital Maritime Choke Point with their new single Let’s All F**k Up The Global Economy“.
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
There’s something very odd going on with this guy. Very reminiscent of King Frederick William I of Prussia & his weird obsession with military drill & very big soldiers (also vibes with the eugenics element of the MAGAverse). alexandermeddings.com/history/a-ta...
“ Dark and handsome, we don’t know, but King Frederick William I certainly liked his men tall.

He was a sucker for uniform too, once confessing that “the most beautiful girl or woman in the world would be a matter of indifference to me, but tall soldiers they are my weakness.” For Frederick, however, these men were more than just a weakness. The Grand Grenadiers of Potsdam (or “Potsdam Giants” as they came to be known) were an all-consuming obsession.”
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Izzy’s apparently fine with Islam & multiculturalism* in the place she praises as safer than the UK & where she chose to go & live with her family, so wetting herself over the exact same things existing in 🇬🇧 just looks mental. *they’re at least multicultural enough to hubigo.com/blog/religio...
“Religion in the UAE

What religion do the inhabitants of the UAE profess? First and foremost, it is Islam, which plays a key role in the lives of citizens and in shaping laws and customs. At the same time, the United Arab Emirates is a multicultural society, with a significant part of the population consisting of immigrants from various parts of the world. In recent years, the country has become more liberal in its approach to religious issues, which is particularly evident in large cities such as Dubai and Abu Dhabi.

It is worth noting that the UAE promotes religious tolerance, which is evident in the construction of churches and temples of other faiths. In addition to Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, and Christianity are also present in the UAE, with Christians constituting a minority of 9-13% of the population.“
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
This is the man who backed Brexit, a piece of national self-harm almost as stupidly counter-productive as his own tariff wars & Iran omnishambles, so it’s pretty obvious that whatever this doofus is telling you to do, or not to do, you should do the opposite.
Daily Express headline from 2025:
“ Donald Trump heaps praise on Brexit as he hails 'wonderful' Britain

The US President met the Prime Minister in the Oval Office at the White House.”
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Someone had to…
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Not even necessary to assume that the big wig in question is a local NIMBY - just that they’re invested in the far right mission to spread fear & hate about migrants. The BBC already has a dedicated small boats correspondent, Simon Jones, tasked with keeping the migrant “crisis“ in the headlines.
Text to BBC audio cop: “BBC reporter [Simon Jones] speaks to migrants crossing Channel

More than 4,000 people have successfully crossed the Channel from France in small boats so far this year.
The BBC's reporter Simon Jones spoke to 20 migrants who were picked up by the Border Force on Monday.
It comes ahead of a meeting between British and French officials to discuss the crisis.”

10 August 2020
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
The soft-focus artwork reminds me of the prints they used to hang up in Travelodges.
Photograph of a room in a Travelodge with a print of a semi-abstract blurry bauble hung over the bed.
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
“Lefties are *so* irritating. And don’t get me started about the English. Or builders...” Bless you, Timmy. Don’t ever change.
Tweet by Tim Stanley, back in 2012:
“I really do despise tge English. You make an effort to wear a bow tie and you just get laughed at by builders,”
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
The quiet bit Zelensky can’t say out loud is “Quiet, piggy, we’re doing your job by putting kinetic sanctions on the product you‘d be sanctioning if you were doing your damn job for a change, instead of simping for tyrants”. Diplomacy stops him saying it, but it’s what we’re thinking.
“After the Russian President Vladimir Putin landed in Alaska for a meeting with the US President, Donald Trump was seen applauding for his Russian counterpart multiple times. The footage of the American president meeting on the red carpet at the US airbase after applauding for him more than three times was recorded on the live broadcast of their meeting on the White House social media. But when the White House posted an edited version of the moment, they cut the part where Trump was seen applauding for Putin.”
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Also this washed-up old hack's evidence for the country being "bankrupt" by over-mighty unions in 2026 is as lacking as evidence for as the tales he fabricated about fans pricking the pockets of victims of the Hillsborough disaster & urinating on police in 1989. Still a lying scumbag 37 years later
The front page of The Sun on 19 April 1989, with lying headlines about fan behaviour during the Hillsborough disaster.
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Between the Channel 4 sting & these two massive bungs from a notoriously dodgy, socially useless industry, Farage is very much proving the counterpoint to his famous sound bite about money in politics. There’s loads of money in politics if you’re corrupt.
“There’s no money in politics, there’s no money if you’re straight [i.e. not corrupt]…There’s no money in politics.”
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Not convinced that Badenoch’s fandom for that weird chainsaw-waving, Trump-adjacent, Falklands-coveting, Hobbit-looking guy is a mainstream thing on the doorsteps of Britain.
“Kemi Badenoch Declares Herself Britain’s 'Chainsaw-Wielding Javier Milei'
Tory leader signals radical economic stance
Conservative Party leader Kemi Badenoch has drawn comparisons to Argentina’s Javier Milei, declaring herself Britain’s 'chainsaw-wielding' reformer.”
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Farage: “I’ll force MPs to work seven-day week to fix broken Britain” Also Farage: “Politics is hard work, can’t be bovvered…”
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Delo’s apparently an established part of the same donor/grifter circle as James Orr & seems to be chums with all the worst people. www.theguardian.com/politics/202...
“Delo says he doesn’t necessarily endorse the views of those he supports. But he facilitates events where those with hardline views mix with more mainstream politicians. Guests at his summer party last year included the former cabinet minister Michael Gove, Reform UK’s head of policy – the Cambridge academic and anti-abortionist James Orr – and Ben Habib, the founder of Advance UK, the political party supported by Tommy Robinson.

Delo has also connected with Badenoch. The leader of the Conservative party sat at a table with him at the Spectator magazine awards dinner in 2023.”
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Not entirely reassured to know that we’re reliant on this specific guy to deal with this specific problem. 👇
“Elon Musk Repeatedly Asked Epstein When Is The 'Wildest Party' on His Island, Despite Saying He Refused Invitations

Emails show Musk persistently sought to visit Epstein's island despite claiming he refused invitations”
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Imagine looking at Dominic Cummings' pretentious wank & thinking "this genius was right about everything!" Should've gone to Specsavers.
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Nice story you got there, Donny. Be a pity if someone kept the transcripts of what you actually said that day. www.newsweek.com/what-did-don...
September 11, 2001
"40 Wall Street actually was the second-tallest building in downtown Manhattan, and it was actually before the World Trade Center the tallest, and then when they built the World Trade Center it became known as the second-tallest, and now it's the tallest," Trump told local television station WWOR in a call hours after the attack.
"And I just spoke to my people, and they said it's the most unbelievable sight, it's probably seven or eight blocks away from the World Trade Center," Trump continued, "And yet Wall Street is littered with two feet of stone and brick and mortar and steel."
Trump later claimed $150,000 from the government to cover "rent loss" and "repairs," according to The Independent. That money had originally been set aside for small businesses in the area.
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Also Christian Calgie: “Pfffft was expecting better from the long-trailed Channel 4 sting Sort of story that’ll take about 10 minutes to explain on the doostep” Not sure how he got from there to here & I don’t think he is.
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
“Godfather of magic unicorn on the possibility magic unicorn could grant all human wishes within a decade.” It‘s only news if the magic unicorn is real. But it’s not. It’s just a donkey with a sink plunger on its head. The AI they’re shilling isn’t conscious. It has no intentions. This is hype.
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Blimey - I’d always assumed this Danny Tommo character came from the same sort of background as Tommy [not his real name] Robinson. Never realised he was the product of the same public school system that gifted us characters like Nigel Farage, Laurence Fox, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson et al.
i newspaper headline above a photograph of Daniel Thomas, AKA Danny Tommo: “The ex-public schoolboy behind small boat demos - who hasn’t stopped a single dinghy”
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
How does he know they’ve done nothing illegal? I thought he wasn’t listening?
“Speak no evil... See no evil... Hear no evil... Frankly I wasn't even listening!” 

Peter Brookes cartoon of Nigel Farage as the three monkeys
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Andy King @2primates.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Time to review your “strategy” for dealing with the far right, Shab…
Screenshot of The Simpsons cartoon. Text reads:
“It’s not working. We’ve tried nothing & we’re all out if ideas!”
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