Get more friends or go pay a trained therapist to do it. If your ONE person you feel comfortable being vulnerable with happens to have a bad day when you Really Need To Call Right Now, they don't need to overextend themself to make sure you're alive. Call 988, dog. They get paid for that labor
One of the best ways men can avoid becoming a suicide statistic is by having an emotional support system LARGER THAN 1. I'm so serious. That ONE friend, or god forbid girlfriend, who's giving you free therapy and stresses over your threats/thoughts of killing yourself - is TIRED. And unpaid