Over the years I built walls to protect friends and family from even seeing the void within. Imagine a blackhole that could be weaponized. You fear it took parts of your self, but can never know. You live in a state of constant vigilence, so tired. The hollow is always there.
#walls #hollow #danger Walking everywhere with a killer inside and beside you is an indescribable feeling. You know you have, and you know you could again. Even if you never want to, you can't forget you can. Knowing you would take up the mantle to save others the burden is only a less bad way.
#exhaustion #fear #killer Part of the void came about from an activity I can say little about. It was a crazy job. I understand why it was done and even agree with it. I'll be old before I can say more. Even if you agree with the activity, it can still steal part of you, and you fear part of your soul too.
#loss #knowing