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zseabeard

@zseabeard.bsky.social
383 followers 245 following 932 posts

be kind. LGBTQIA+ ally. black lives matter. support sex workers. www.youtube.com/@zseabeard

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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I had to poop at the store today. Ya know what I didn't do? Poop my FREAKING pants. I just went to the bathroom. Some of y'all could learn from that. Have a day.
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
goes hard pt 4
a picture of me in a window. my face is barely visible and the angle of the photo has my entire head distorted in a strange shape / scrunched together
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Gal gadot's goodles mac-and-cheese startup acquired by pasta giant barilla
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
goes hard pt 3
a picture of a bald man with an egg head reflected in a small plate
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
FYI
a Google search that reads "did cars ever exist" 

the AI overview responds with "Yes, cars have definitely existed and continue to exist today."
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
nothing beats a picnic at a nice picnic table with a lush greenscape nearby! oh and PLEASE tell me there's a massive propane tank nearby
a picnic table stationed 8 feet from a large propane tank under power lines
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karina @karinanatv.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
oh my god
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
what's the term for something that is the opposite of a recession indicator
a box containing "Crystal Clear Frozen Ice Cubes" available for sale at the grocery store the Ice Cubes cost $0.49 for a box of 4
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
cavemen named Max when you ask them who they are
a logo that says "IMAX"
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
I hate America bro
a men's bathroom with a urinal in the shape of an animal food trough a close up of the food trough urinal
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Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani @mayor.nyc.gov · 14/07/2026
This morning in Biddeford, Maine, a 26-year-old man said goodbye to his wife and daughter and left for work. Moments later he was dead, shot in the head by ICE agents, the second man ICE has killed in six days. ICE is killing our neighbors. ICE cannot be reformed. Abolish ICE.
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
heartbroken for Cabo Verde. what a ride
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
this is the weirdest looking Gamecube I've ever seen
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
Erica and I bought 2 coffees, a blueberry scone, and a cinnamon roll from a roaming coffee truck. with a 20% tip it was $47. bidenflation is out of control
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
I discovered a cheat code to decipher which Democrat orgs are worth engaging with
a text received from a political organization asking to chat about helping local Dems. I reply with "Hey Sam! if you reply with "Free Palestine", I'll listen to what you have to say". they never responded
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
everytime I see the phrase "some people can reply" below a post, I immediately assume the poster is a giant crybaby idiot who can't tolerate anyone disagreeing with their garbage loser opinions
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
just bought this for my great grandma who is actively dying because it seems like she just doesn't get it
a frame that contains the words "life is meant to be lived"
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 09/06/2026
whoever named this chatbot needs to be fired bro
"Hi my name is Grippy, and I am shoes for crews virtual assistant!""Hi my name is Grippy, and I am shoes for crews virtual assistant!""Hi my name is Grippy, and I am shoes for crews virtual assistant!"
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 13/04/2026
when I am in a Doofus Idiot competition and my opponent is Adam
a high definition image of squidward looking scared
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 30/03/2026
ITS MONDAY MORNING 10:45AM AND I AM ALREADY OUT OF DAGGUM PATIENCE FOR THE WEEK
I started this week with a big box of patience. the box is empty now
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 24/03/2026
the Brainrot Bedframe
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 19/03/2026
Walmart financials need to PLUMMET when this is implemented or other big stores will start to do the same. DO NOT BUY FROM WALMART!!! DO NOT GO IN THAT STORE IF YOU'RE PLANNING ON PAYING FOR THINGS
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 16/03/2026
TRUE FRIENDS WILL STICK AROUND UNLIKE THAT SCOUNDREL CLETUS. BURN IN HELL CLETUS
Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean. 

but the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 14/03/2026
did anybody else sprint for their wallet when they heard this
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sarry 🧸 @sarry.bsky.social · 14/03/2026
today!!!! i’ll be the opening run for the last day of the frame fatales event going on @gamesdonequick.com @framefatales.com !!!!! life’s CWAZY, hope to see you there!!!
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 13/03/2026
HOLY SHIT. A dark money group, hidden behind a bunch of shell companies, is paying influencers thousands of dollars PER POST to attack @katmabu.bsky.social on social media a month before her election. Thank you to the people who declined the money and went forward with this. So who's behind this?
ms.now
Dark money group offers influencers $1,500 for posts attacking Chicago Democratic primary candidate
Progressive House candidate Kat Abughazaleh told MS NOW the secretive campaign is “filled with false and defamatory claims.”
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 09/03/2026
HAS ANYONE SEEN CLEETUS ANYWHERE HE HASN'T BEEN RETURNING MY EMAILS
I NEED A NEW FRIEND. THE LAST ONE ESCAPED
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sarry 🧸 @sarry.bsky.social · 06/03/2026
here’s the sched for this weekend!!!!! im super excited to yap and game with my GIRLS, hope your excited too it’s gonna be a blast 🩷💜 WOMEN 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 @karinananaaa.bsky.social @emilymidwest.bsky.social @seadanttv.bsky.social @happybearcares.bsky.social @loverish.bsky.social
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 05/03/2026
brother WHAT is going on in the bathroom at work
a small bathroom with chair seated opposite of a toilet with no divider
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 03/03/2026
liberal liberal liberal
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 23/02/2026
YOU DONT WANT TO GET ON MY BAD SIDE SO DO NOT IRRITATR ME
"I can kill you in 15 different ways and make it look like Winnie the Pooh did it. do not irritate me! Okay?!"
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 22/02/2026
Discord is sharing age verification data and personal information with the government 🤪
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 22/02/2026
thank you Target for specifying that this mousepad is gender neutral
a screenshot of target's mobile website with a mousepad full of suns, moons, and other celestial designs. title of the page reads "Sweet Jojo Designs Boy, Girl, Unisex/Gender Neutral Large Mouse Pad Desk Mat Celestial Black, Gold and White"
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Kat Abughazaleh @katmabu.bsky.social · 21/02/2026
✨ It’s a yes or no question ✨
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 16/02/2026
remember when Drake compared himself to Jeffrey Epstein in his own song
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 12/02/2026
naming my son Cleetus to own the libs
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 09/02/2026
discord.com/press-releas... the decline of discord's user experience has been feeling reminiscent of 2020s twitter recently. unfortunately with discord, there is nowhere else to go
discord.com
Discord Launches Teen-by-Default Settings Globally
Discord is announcing enhanced teen safety features rolling out globally that reinforce its long-standing commitment to creating a safer and more inclusive experience for users over the age of 13.
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derek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · 17/01/2026
just got out of an uber. the driver was telling me how he has to work 16 hour days, seven days a week, at two different jobs to afford rent. he doesn't have healthcare and he worries about retirement. "i would feel a lot better if we owned greenland," he told me. then he cried.
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The Editorial Board @editorialboard.bsky.social · 13/01/2026
Someone inside DHS leaked the names of 4,500 ICE and CBP officers to a nonprofit that tracks ICE. About 80 percent of those name are active. www.rawstory.com/ice-agents-d...
rawstory.com
Whistleblower drops 'largest ever' ICE leak to unmask agents: 'The last straw'
A Department of Homeland Security whistleblower has released the identities of about 4,500 ICE and Border Patrol employees Tuesday in what has been called potentially the largest agency data breach fo...
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 31/12/2025
IT MAY BE A NEW YEAR BUT I AM STILL THE SAME BIG DAWG
Hey Listen Happy New year 2014
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MEΛ-OD DELTΔ PATROL [🔥🦐 label] @taxisalad.bsky.social · 09/05/2025
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 22/12/2025
THE BIG DAWG ABSTAINED FROM VIOLENCE THIS YEAR AND BETTER NOT SEE COAL IN HIS DOGGONE STOCKING AGAIN
Dear Santa, I know I wasn't a good person this year but I didn't kill anyone either and you know how bad I wanted to...that should count for something right?
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 16/12/2025
I paid $35 for this picture happy Minion Monday
a picture of ZSeabeard and Erica with a minion at Times Square. photobombed by a transformer
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 14/12/2025
I have had the same picture on discord for almost 3 years. but today I finally changed it
from 2023 until yesterday, my discord picture said " I 💜 my girlfriend" the new picture says "I 💜 my fiance"
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 14/12/2025
just had to explain to Erica what Truck Nuts are
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 08/12/2025
MONDAY HIT ME HARDER THAN MY UNCLE BUBBA WOULD HIT THE ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT CRAB LEGS BUFFET
I'm not ready for Monday. can I have another Sunday?
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 05/12/2025
make sure you check your startup apps on your PC periodically. I haven't checked mine for maybe 2 months and a bunch of apps snuck their way in there
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 05/12/2025
my Christmas present to me
a GeForce RTX 5070 graphics card
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 02/12/2025
SOME OF YOU LIBERALS BELONG IN THIS CONTAINER
a plastic container full of ornaments labeled "snowflakes"
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zseabeard @zseabeard.bsky.social · 02/12/2025
THE BIG DAWG ISN'T MADE OF MONEY
hold your wife's hand in the mall because if you let go, she'll start shopping. it looks romantic but it's actually economic
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