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zooeydeschanel.bsky.social

@zooeydeschanel.bsky.social
1.8K followers 7 following 31 posts
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zooeydeschanel.bsky.social @zooeydeschanel.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
New slurs: iconic,
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zooeydeschanel.bsky.social @zooeydeschanel.bsky.social · 08/05/2026
I want to host a lesbian mixer at my house
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zooeydeschanel.bsky.social @zooeydeschanel.bsky.social · 02/04/2026
My lovers breath smells like belted vinegar mayo and French fries from royal tavern and I can’t stop huffing it!!!
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zooeydeschanel.bsky.social @zooeydeschanel.bsky.social · 26/03/2026
For the record I have never said girly to address anyone and I’m still uneasy/ironic with my use of queen
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zooeydeschanel.bsky.social @zooeydeschanel.bsky.social · 25/03/2026
The worst feeling is finding out you caught a stray Mandela effect after googling Alex Trebec
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zooeydeschanel.bsky.social @zooeydeschanel.bsky.social · 10/12/2025
I hope when I die I meet Style.com in heaven cause I’ve been missing her all these years
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zooeydeschanel.bsky.social @zooeydeschanel.bsky.social · 25/07/2025
Is eckhaus latta profitable?
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zooeydeschanel.bsky.social @zooeydeschanel.bsky.social · 17/07/2025
Walking away is the new Again by Lenny Kravitz, rock wit me now
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zooeydeschanel.bsky.social @zooeydeschanel.bsky.social · 14/07/2025
You absolutely cannot shitpost on main if you have a job and a weight problem because people are going to be sad and ask if you are OK, which you are not!
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zooeydeschanel.bsky.social @zooeydeschanel.bsky.social · 14/07/2025
I say let Baggu die, it’s ok! Some good-enough things must come to an end.
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zooeydeschanel.bsky.social @zooeydeschanel.bsky.social · 18/04/2025
Got a notification from Amazon that my mom bought the noble eightfold path on my credit card…
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zooeydeschanel.bsky.social @zooeydeschanel.bsky.social · 12/04/2025
One time I heard a lesbian say that it was unfair that straight people have an easier time conceiving and at first I disagreed but now I’m not sure how I feel about anything
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zooeydeschanel.bsky.social @zooeydeschanel.bsky.social · 09/04/2025
Use brain to work but brain hurt when work
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zooeydeschanel.bsky.social @zooeydeschanel.bsky.social · 01/04/2025
People I’ve known my whole life keep asking me when we’re having kids but they’re forgetting I’ve been having kids literally this whole time. My children are everywhere, it’s kinda gross.
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zooeydeschanel.bsky.social @zooeydeschanel.bsky.social · 22/03/2025
I’m not sure about this, Kim Gordon
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zooeydeschanel.bsky.social @zooeydeschanel.bsky.social · 19/03/2025
Anal eyes analyze anal lies
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zooeydeschanel.bsky.social @zooeydeschanel.bsky.social · 13/03/2025
HAIM, you will never charm me, there is only room for one clumsy loser in this world and you guys are clearly faking it
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zooeydeschanel.bsky.social @zooeydeschanel.bsky.social · 18/02/2025
Those Bink water bottles are not cool, you bitches are annoying as fuck trying to get me to buy one. Do you think Isabelle Huppert drinks from a Bink? Fucking losers all of you.
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zooeydeschanel.bsky.social @zooeydeschanel.bsky.social · 28/01/2025
I feel old and sad
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zooeydeschanel.bsky.social @zooeydeschanel.bsky.social · 11/01/2025
I know the names of all my future chickens
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zooeydeschanel.bsky.social @zooeydeschanel.bsky.social · 07/01/2025
Question for L.A. Paul: when a person assigns a personal transformation to something that is merely an epistemic transformation in their experience of a new movie, like it was a religious experience, am I right to think they’re really annoying?
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zooeydeschanel.bsky.social @zooeydeschanel.bsky.social · 06/01/2025
My favorite word is durrrrrrr
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zooeydeschanel.bsky.social @zooeydeschanel.bsky.social · 04/01/2025
People always say to me, “what the hell are you talking about?”
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zooeydeschanel.bsky.social @zooeydeschanel.bsky.social · 14/12/2024
People have this idea of me that I’m a manic pixie dream girl, denying the fact I’m human, I have processes with which I observe & feel things. You project an image upon me that confirms your desires & expectations. A reviewer of my favorite film, Elizabethtown coined MPDG. It is simply an idea.
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zooeydeschanel.bsky.social @zooeydeschanel.bsky.social · 09/12/2024
Change of plans, we want to do jury duty now! 😁
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zooeydeschanel.bsky.social @zooeydeschanel.bsky.social · 08/12/2024
Some people love the release of shitting. Is that what it is? I get more satisfaction and release from crying and scaring myself from being the craziest version of myself for a second that it puts everything in perspective.
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zooeydeschanel.bsky.social @zooeydeschanel.bsky.social · 06/12/2024
It might surprise you, but I use Microsoft Word a lot and I’m super unimpressed by the AI spellcheck. For example, I wrote “dail” instead of “fail,” as I intended and the only options to correct were dial, Dails (proper noun?), and dais. Please bring back the old spellcheck.
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zooeydeschanel.bsky.social @zooeydeschanel.bsky.social · 23/11/2024
Violently woken by my nightmare. Aziz and Donald wearing tuxes, running up the Venice boardwalk, playing banjo and singing Hallelujah. I feel like I’m going crazy.
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zooeydeschanel.bsky.social @zooeydeschanel.bsky.social · 21/11/2024
Duuuude I’m so dumb lol!! For a second, I thought the lightening I saw through the window was a nuclear explosion and that a wall of fire was on its way, but then I heard the smooth hiss of car tires roll across the wet pavement and drops of rain catch on the yellowing ginkgo leaves yet to drop.
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zooeydeschanel.bsky.social @zooeydeschanel.bsky.social · 20/11/2024
I thought it would be funny to start reading My Year of Rest and Relaxation in the year 2024, but I didn’t expect the copy I borrowed from the library to be dog-earred on page five. Now that’s hilarious!
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zooeydeschanel.bsky.social @zooeydeschanel.bsky.social · 19/11/2024
Guys!! (Jess from New Girl voice)
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