iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 02/06/2026

If the products burn to apply, that's good, right? My skin is the enemy and I have to punish it for disobedience. #skincare

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 01/06/2026

Happy pride, degenerates! Gay Christmas only comes 30 times per year. #pride

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 29/05/2026

Remember: if you kill yourself, you don't get to join the black parade.

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 29/05/2026

Kleptomania, although admittedly I'm unmedicated rn

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 29/05/2026

Flo Rida, Vanilla Ice, and Kid Rock. That's the remaining lineup. Celebrating 250 years of America with the musical equivalent of a hexagonal cardboard bin at the Dollar General full of washed up DVDs.

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 29/05/2026

Bro I cannot even begin to comprehend what this means. Is she slapping that choccy moose on his schmeat? Is it laced with something? WHY DOES SHE NEED TO LEAVE THE PLANET!?

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 29/05/2026

HOLY SHIT THIS POST GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK I THOUGHT HE DIED

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 28/05/2026

If any of y'all are ever making a phone, something to consider- I have never once wanted a notification from my photo gallery. That's where I put pictures, I don't need it to speak to me too.

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 28/05/2026

Hey 🥺 We- *sniffle* We did another *sniff* ... it's another security update, I think. 😥 Can... can you- *hick* I just- I really need ur data 😢

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 28/05/2026

DON'T SCROLL PAST THI- ah, who am I kidding, I ain't on no one's damn feed lmao

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 28/05/2026

Someone oughta do something about you. 🫵🙂

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 28/05/2026

Now that I think about it, the whole "Avocado Toast" thing is hilarious. Like bro, that is bread and cheap produce. I am simply applying heat to half of a single ingredient sandwich and these fucking crypt keeper land lords are telling me to eat dirt and put that $0.60 in an IRA. Like what?

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 28/05/2026

Apparently sharing your youtube TV password with a buddy is... *Checks notes* Ah- defrauding the company and stealing their intellectual property. Ben Shapiro is a turbo virgin.

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 28/05/2026

Btw, when you're at a 4 way stop, there's no such thing as being nice, I appreciate the gesture but for real- Stop trying to wave me over. It's your turn. Drive your damn car. You're holding us all up.

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 28/05/2026

Hardcore auramaxxing rn (migraine)

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 27/05/2026

Getting subtly peeved when I stealth pass around strangers because my bad mental health wants people to confirm every self depreciating bias I have.

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 27/05/2026

Idk who needs to see this but- Did you know that the toilets in the public bathrooms ALSO flush? that's right, just like the one you have at home! same lever too, it's pretty crazy.

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 27/05/2026

Saying "ha, ur mom" at the giant nuclear missile screaming towards my state capital so I can have the last laugh.

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 26/05/2026

My phone carrier has me on hold RN and their music choices are BAFFLING. Solid mix of Johnny Cash style old time country music with the occasional 2010s Christmas song. Absolutely unhinged.

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 26/05/2026

In the pussy hacking through her bush with a cutlass and a blunderbuss

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 26/05/2026

Either I'm a puppy girl or I'm getting fucked by a puppy girl but one way or another, I got that dog in me.

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 26/05/2026

*me, 4 hours into the rap battle* -sniff- where'd you.. uh- get those -sniff- sunglasses? The... sunglass store? 😥

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 26/05/2026

Bro you're not the only one who had complications during your appendectomy okay? It's not a competition.

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 26/05/2026

for the last time bro i'm not going to endorse your campaign in my homies discord server.

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 26/05/2026

the loser urge to book a vacation house alone just to play video games in a nice place on someone else's couch for a few days.

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 26/05/2026

In this economy, if I ever find a quarter behind some kids ear I'm keeping that shit.

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 26/05/2026

I hate that all public swimming pools only go like 5ft deep. Bro you think I'm some kinda bitch? I'm trying to have a subnautical experience here.

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 26/05/2026

I'm going back to the bottom of the food chain if y'all are hungry

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 25/05/2026

Anything you can't solve with angry feelings you can likely solve with an angry orchard.

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 25/05/2026

I may be drunk on a rainy Monday afternoon, but is it really a problem if I'm sad?

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 09/05/2026

Okay okay I've posted into the abyss for long enough. Time to say goodnight to myself. Goodnight Jade, remember to get your car inspected tomorrow okay?

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 09/05/2026

I'm offering a 14 day free trial to share your toothbrush. If you're not completely satisfied I'll return it, no questions asked.

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 09/05/2026

An enemies to lovers story arc between me and the phone charger I have to hold a weird angle.

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 09/05/2026

I don't even want to secrete my hydrating mucus membrane layer anymore. What's the point.

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 09/05/2026

One of these days I'll be popular enough to play wordle.

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 09/05/2026

You don't understand, gasoline is only expensive right now because they started putting protein in it.

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 09/05/2026

I simply refuse to touch grass at this point. The floor is lava and the lava is grass.

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 06/05/2026

I'm sorry CeraVe, but I'd never actually heard of a "ceramide" before I started buying your products. It sounds fake. "Try my new product GooperVe, with 3 ESSENTIAL goops."

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 04/05/2026

"🤓 May the fourth be with-" *shakes you like a can of spray paint*

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 04/05/2026

Some of those that work forces, are the same that ride horses.

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 04/05/2026

Listen, Amazon. I really don't want to be using you at all, but if I must for something obscure, can you stop asking me if I want to buy fresh fruit every damn time I put something in my cart?

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MyFriendJade @yourfriendjade.bsky.social · 25/04/2026