iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Xenos

@xenosinfinity.bsky.social

238 followers 506 following 345 posts

She/her, as it turns out. 34 last time I bothered to update this. Plays a lot of games, listens to a lot of podcasts, notoriously does not watch a lot of films. 🏳️‍⚧️

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Xenos @xenosinfinity.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

In that case... May 2025 and September 2026. I'm only just getting started, and even in the latter I'm only five months into HRT. I think it's working well for me, personally. Details in the alt text.

Me in May 2025, a month after my egg cracked. I hate this photo, genuinely. I was keeping my hair (which is red, and I always hated it) as short as possible so I didn't have to think about it, I had a beard more so I didn't have to think about the lower half of my face than for anything else. You can't see my legs but I guarantee everything I'm wearing is black, and so is the phone ok holding. And the phone's case. And my glasses, which are really far too heavy for my face. I think I thought they'd make me look more masculine, and it didn't work. There's really no light in my eyes at all, and this was a month *after* working out that I'm trans, but before I could start doing anything about it. It took me another three months to come out to my parents. I think I was trying to smile here but you could have told someone my expression was picked out of a funeral photo and I think they'd believe you.

Sixteen months later, in September 2026, this is the best photo anyone's ever taken of me and I took it by accident. The all-black pajamas are gone. In this one, I'm wearing a cream vest with a pink bra (the label says rosewood, but it's pink, roughly matching my skin) just barely visible under it. Over that, I have a red plaid flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up above my elbows and the cuffs turned back, showing blue fabric on what would be the inside. You can't see my legs, but I'm wearing dark blue jeggings this time and they're the most comfortable legwear I've ever owned. I've got a little woven leather cord bracelet on my left wrist, and my black phone has been replaced by a metallic green one in a purple case. My glasses are now a much lighter pair with silver frames and tigerseye arms - from the women's section, naturally - and my hair is now down to my collar. It honestly looks the healthiest it has in as long as I can remember. I'm five months into HRT here, and I think it shows. I'm almost glowing. I wasn't even trying to smile in this one, but you can see the hint of one at the corners of my mouth.

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Xenos @xenosinfinity.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

I got hooked on the concept of Cassette Beasts by its soundtrack alone. It was one of the first games I played after working out that I'm trans, and it helped so much with working out my identity early on. Also I have an awesome laser beetle that can machine-gun bosses to death in two turns.

My review of Cassette Beasts reads: Maybe, just maybe, the best monster collecting game I've ever played. Absolutely outstanding soundtrack, great monster designs, love the fusion mechanic. Kind of fell in love with Kayleigh too, if I'm honest. The little touch of changing from two tents to one when you start a relationship with one of the partners was so sweet. I am very much looking forward to the sequel.

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Xenos @xenosinfinity.bsky.social · 07/03/2026

So the oldest picture I have of mine is from the Heavensward Hildibrand quests, but you can at least see most of the face. I had to include three pictures, though, because there was a bit of a shift while I was halfway through 7.2...

A screenshot from FF14: Heavensward. Inquisitor Cyr, a blond-haired man in blue robes, is questioning why he feels as though he's stepped through a portal into an alternate reality unbound by the laws of logic - unfortunately for him, this is because Hildibrand Manderville is nearby. To his right, an Elezen man about a head taller than him is looking at him - this is my WoL, at the time called Xenos Infinisant. His hair is black and swept back, and he's wearing glasses with a purple tattoo on his left cheek. You can't see most of his outfit but he's wearing a black half-cape with a red lining and a little metallic bat clasp holding it together at the collar, and a white shirt underneath.

Xenos again at the end of Dawntrail, shading his face as he looks up into the sun. He's now visibly a Red Mage, dressed entirely in red with the traditional Red Mage Hat from Stormblood and its white feather, a red velvet longcoat open at the chest, and a red bandana around his neck. If you look closely you can just about make out that his left glove is white and his right glove is black (nobody ever notices that but I think it's quite clever). He's still wearing glasses and has the same tattoo. His hair and beard are unchanged, and the glasses still appear to be the same pair.

An Elezen woman in the same outfit as the man in the previous picture. Her hair is a dark red, and there are long bangs framing her face, but you can just about make out the same tattoo as the man in the previous pictures on her left cheek behind one of them. The black glasses have been replaced by a pair with gold under-rim frames, and she appears to be wearing lipstick which is almost as dark as her hair. Yeah, I did a gender reveal to myself in April 2025, and perhaps unsurprisingly some changes have followed. Her name is Juin Infinisant now, and I have to say even she looks happier since using the Fantasia.

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Xenos @xenosinfinity.bsky.social · 28/01/2026

Elezen, always. Never needed a Fantasia, never even touched the aesthetician. I got everything right the first time. Right up until April last year, when it turned out that maybe there was one thing I'd gotten wrong about myself the whole time, and perhaps I needed a Fantasia after all.

A screenshot taken from the beginning of Final Fantasy 14: Dawntrail. An Elezen man with swept-back black hair stands at the prow of a ship with his arms crossed, dressed in red, with small amethyst earrings are just about visible. There's a leather mantle over his left shoulder and a short cape is visible down his back. On his left hip, the hilt of a rapier is visible, and he is wearing a truly spectacular hat with a white feather in its brim. He's actually facing to the right, so you can't see much of the feather.

A screenshot from Final Fantasy 14, taken after the end of Dawntrail, in a large archway at the entrance to Idyllshire. An Elezen woman stands facing the camera, her hair a dark red with long bangs framing her face, and a light purple tattoo just about visible on her left cheek. She's wearing the same hat and amethyst earrings as the man from the other picture - this isn't a coincidence. Her outfit is almost entirely in red, but the shorter coat from the other picture has been replaced by a full-length coat in red velvet with a black leather jerkin under it, and a number of straps across her chest. Around her neck is a red and black striped bandana. She's wearing under-rim glasses in gold, and although it's subtle, you get the sense she's smiling at you. It's amazing how much difference finding yourself can make.

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Xenos @xenosinfinity.bsky.social · 26/05/2025

A screenshot from the DS game Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days. The character Xion is saying "Roxas, that's a stick."

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Xenos @xenosinfinity.bsky.social · 23/05/2025

Well, it's taken me all day to think it over, but despite that I have come up with two answers. Neither of them frames I use consistently, but if I had to pick two for Juin, it's Gara and Jade. Perhaps a little *too* willing to overstretch herself for those close to her, heedless of the cost.

A female Elezen Red Mage, dressed entirely in red, with a rather spiffy hat bearing an extremely large white feather.

The warframe Gara Prime, resembling a samurai with glass armour plates, stood ready with a pistol.

A female elezen Sage, dressed in high-tech clothing primarily in white, surrounded by four glowing Nouliths shrouded in blue energy.

The warframe Jade, a literally angelic pregnant woman, in white and purple with gold highlights. She's holding a pistol in her right hand, but it's much longer than the one Gara was holding, with wooden and bronze ornamentation around the barrel.

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Xenos @xenosinfinity.bsky.social · 16/03/2025

I'm presuming it's hard enough to count, it was an old Polo variant called Super OJs. Given the account, you've probably seen it at some point, but it took me ages to track down proof they existed.

A picture of a container of Polo Super OJs on a website. The container is a large plastic replica of a Polo, in orange - part of the ring opens up to allow access to the candy. It's flavoured allegedly with orange juice.

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Xenos @xenosinfinity.bsky.social · 10/11/2024

An extreme close-up of the head and upper body of a Dodo from Final Fantasy 14. It's a nearly spherical bird, grey-white with an extremely long, slightly curved rust-red beak. Its glassy eye has something of a thousand-yard stare about it, and is almost perfectly centred in the frame. In the background, a windmill is visible, and beside that, some farmers are talking. Beyond those, the sky is stormy grey, and through the clouds the setting sun is just about visible on the horizon. The whole image looks weirdly grimy, like everything's covered in a thin film of dirt.

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