iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 06/12/2025

have toilets become advanced enough yet that I can get can get an end of year off wrap-up for my ass

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 11/05/2025

Whenever a woman realizes she is a lesbian it should be called "ding dong ditch"

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 11/05/2025

I am starting a new birther movement. Donald Jarnold Trump must prove he wasn't born on epstein island

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 17/03/2025

I wonder if anybody would notice if they swapped the c-span feed with footage of a literal dumpster fire

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 15/03/2025

Forget "would you kill baby Hitler if you had the chance", the answer to the question of "would you do the bare minimum to help slow down fascism" is a resounding no for 10 dems with varying degrees of mental capacity.

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 10/03/2025

I don't understand how a baby trying on glasses for the first time always gets like hundreds of thousands of views, but my video of trying to put cat eye contacts on a baby gets child services called on me.

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 08/03/2025

(on my deathbed, in Russo-America) If only I argued about star wars more

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 28/02/2025

confirm chet hanks to whatever position needed so that we can finally give america the official language of Patois

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 24/02/2025

You all finger wag and jeer now, but when it gets renamed to "Federal Booby Inspector" it will alllllll make sense

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 21/02/2025

I bet he'd hate it at first but Jerry Seinfeld probably could suck some dick dry like a pro if he really tried

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 11/02/2025

You can tell someone is a martial artist if they are wearing a martial beret

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 04/02/2025

I googled to see what would've happened four score seven years ago today. Apparently it was when the Oberkommando der Wehrmacht was established. Awful thing, thank goodness it's not currently happening again

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 03/02/2025

With all this tariff and trade war stuff going on I really wish I paid attention during school or the phantom menace

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 03/02/2025

We were just one letter away from getting rid of all REI stores. Mountains were not meant to be hiked. Stop trying to affront God

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 01/02/2025

Donkey from Shrek May 29, 1917 - February 1st, 2025 Rest in Peace, Donkey

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 30/01/2025

Whenever I see a service animal I hope to god the service is not assassinations

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 29/01/2025

The stuff that fulls up e-cigarettes should be called e-jaculate

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 29/01/2025

My review of "Where the Wild Things Are" by Maurice Sendak: Wow, that was wild.

The cover of the book "Where the Wild Things Are"

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 26/01/2025

If America goes full Nazi and nobody joins them their uniforms are going to look like dogshit this time around

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 26/01/2025

What are the qualifications for being a ninja? Because Michaelangelo is a party dude. I'm not sure he is a real ninja.

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 25/01/2025

Reading the letter I wrote to myself as a kid is depressing. I never "mastered karate" or "avenged my sensei" although I did "eat one of those giant snickers solo"

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 24/01/2025

How is everyone getting screenshots from Twitter if they left Twitter. Do they have a man on the inside?

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 24/01/2025

When will Blues Brothers 3000 come out

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

I went to tryout for a local band with an old guitar hero controller as a joke. They made me play three and a half songs before telling me they'd let me know. I left in tears

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

Dear Best Buy, if you want my business again please hire people that know what they are talking about. The refurbished Chromebook, despite being GeeksQuad certified, was not able to hack mainframe of any government. Not even the american one

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 16/01/2025

I bet D.L. Hughley can walk into any donutisserie and say "The D.L. stands for donut lover!" and get a free donut. It must be nice being D.L. Hughley

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 14/01/2025

"But.. I don't understand how this could happen" The alien said, observing the nuclear wasteland that is now Earth "were the ironic shitposts not enough?"

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 14/01/2025

Currently looking for a new doctor because my old one told me everything looked "gucci" after my physical

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 11/01/2025

He looks like a cheap action figure with like two points of articulation.

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 10/01/2025

Me: Doo doo doo, minding my own business Social Media: hey there queefcake, find out what new slurs we're allowed to say now by clicking the link in my profile I'm still not going to go outside though

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 10/01/2025

What are ducks doing at night? What are those little guys up to? Is that when they turn into goose?

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 10/01/2025

Here's an idea for a fun twist on UFC - replace the referee with a chimpanzee on the cusp of reaching sexual maturity. Try not to get people tuning in to see if things turn gruesome. Plus he'd have a fun little outfit and a cigar

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 09/01/2025

Secret movie trilogy?? A Star Is Born (any) Star Trek (whichever) Star Wars (the original or whichever one you hate the most)

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 08/01/2025

NEW UPDATE TO META GUIDELINES: You can sing EVERY word to your favorite songs as loudly as you want in public and anybody who disagrees is a mentally ill toaster

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 08/01/2025

The only Al I want to hear about is avril lavigne

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 08/01/2025

Have a penis? When you put on a condom sing "Where the rubber meets the chode". Bonus points if anybody is nearby to witness

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 07/01/2025

I hope there is an episode of law & order special victims unit where the detectives get offered to help regular victims, but they firmly decline.

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 07/01/2025

Well Netflix have fun trying to suggest a show for someone who has watches both sex and the city and the world wildlife wrestling federation's Raw. Oh, Glow? Yeah, I should probably watch that one

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 06/01/2025

Y'know, if these chocolate covered raisins were labeled more accurately as "surprisingly efficient dog poison" I wouldn't be in this dang mess

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 06/01/2025

Is Corky Romano a spinoff of Ray Romano?

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 05/01/2025

The next time I have nightmarish diarrhea in a public toilet (monday morning) I am going to loudly announce that "this time it's personal"

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 03/01/2025

If that public domainsploitation Popeye horror movie doesn't have him popping someone's head open and eat their brains (because brains are his spinach now) then I won't see that movie that I have no plans to see

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 01/01/2025

I am breaking down and crying from confusion like a robot unable to find the captcha images with fire hydrant

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 01/01/2025

If the only pornography website in the world wide web is blocked for you, might I recommend looking for nudity on Wikipedia or YouTube?

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 01/01/2025

I dare you to look up the controversies section of the wiki page for Darth Vader and tell me he is an appropriate model for a child's toothbrush. An entire generation was literally mouthwashed by this monster

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 31/12/2024

It's New Year's EVE not New Year's STEVE. Sorry if that's offensive but it's how I was raised - Steveless

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 29/12/2024

Shout out to Waluigi for playing the body of Nosferatu's Monster in Nosferatu

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 28/12/2024

I'm about to go ice-skeeting with my friend Skeeter. It's his nickname 'cuz he's always skeetin' about. He loves vigorous masturbation

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Tom Diligenter @wieners.bsky.social · 28/12/2024

I had to close my AI generated onlyfans account today due to lack of interest. I'm not sure if it's because my pictures looked fake or if "Diarrhea Maria" was not as catchy as I thought

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