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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 19h

From the visionary genius who brought you "military top-secret ballroom," it's "military golf course that's already my golf course and will stay my golf course but now the government has to pay me forever, not just when I go there."

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On October 7, 2026, Donald Trump announced still yet another vanity building project he wants to force Americans to pay for.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

Do you know the difference between these two samples of diesel fuel? If you answered "yes," it might be because you work in the agricultural or shipping industries, in which case Donald Trump would appreciate it you stopped telling everyone how goddamn stupid his latest attempt at a voter bribe is.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On October 6, Donald Trump scrambled to get states to go along with his latest band-aid on inflation.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

He said that Iran could blow up Los Angeles or San Diego. Why, did everyone in those cities ALSO notice he couldn't attract the size of crowd that the Vandalia, Ohio Butler High School Aviators basketball team makes room for?

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On October 5, 2026, Donald Trump said reporters should be arrested for noticing that he couldn't quite fill an Ohio high school gym with supporters.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

He spent the day in the rejuvenative chamber that reapplies his hand makeup, administers four times the recommended dose of aspirin, and tops him up on the drugs that let him identify which animal is an elephant on the dementia test.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On October 4, 2026, Donald Trump lost his temper on social media, or someone did for him, and there's really no way to know.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Attention, elderly Americans: here's $90 from your pal President Trump. Go treat yourself to a surgery! What's the matter? Why don't you look grateful? That's a lot of money to you people!

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On October 3, 2026, Donald Trump offered his smallest bribe to voters yet.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Strictly speaking, Donald Trump didn't HAVE to bear-hug the seven men accused of drugging and gang-raping a Cornell student while advertising the fact on their group chat. He didn't NEED to make himself part of this story. But this is the one demographic he's actually loyal to.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On October 2, 2026, Donald Trump once again waded into an accusation of rape on the side of the accused rapists.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Technically the Time interview was from Sept. 28, so to stay true to our mission, here's a genuine, verbatim Trump quote from Oct. 1: "They [Iran] were nuclear and drug. They were doing drugs but they were doing the nuclear. But these drug factories slash nuclear factories were hit so hard."

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On October 1, 2026, Donald Trump blew up at interviewers for asking questions, which makes sense if you consider his answers.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

If you're in line in a deep-red state where Trump is fumbling away a Senate seat that should be impossible for Republicans to lose, waiting for your promise of an imaginary zillion-dollar steel mill or pipeline or magic bean farm or whatever, STAY IN LINE.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On September 30, 2026, Donald Trump made more extravagant promises to try to save a Senate seat Republicans wouldn't be losing without him.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

WTDT is 100% human-generated. No AI has ever been used to make these posts, and none ever will. That said, until Trump has it reprogrammed into MechaHitler 2.0, this America.gov chatbot has a certain charm to it.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On September 29, Donald Trump unveiled a chatbot that would already have been fired for disloyalty if it were one of his human employees.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Can't afford a subscription to Truth Social? Don't worry, citizen—now you can get all the Trump campaign slop you can handle just by watching ordinary television. The catch? There is none! Well, unless you wanted your tax dollars to go towards highways or schools or medical research, I guess.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On September 27, 2026, Donald Trump doubled down on forcing taxpayers to foot the bill for his own campaign ads.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Well, Grandpa had another one of Those Days today. But hey, maybe the football game cheered him up? …Oh, he had to leave early. What a shame. But it must have been nice for him to be cheered by all those friendly red-state fans? …Oh, I see.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On September 26, 2026, Donald Trump freaked out about the consequences of his unpopularity.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

It's not the main point of today's post, but let's just give Trump credit where it's due for bringing down prices: specifically, by spurring thousands of football fans to sell tickets to their favorite team at $100+ losses just to not be around him.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On September 25, 2026, Donald Trump accidentally nuked TV coverage of his upcoming football game appearance.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Today we discuss how Trump spent taxpayer money on an illegal propaganda ad fluffing himself while a vocalist chants "I will make them love me" in the background. Also, he's going to "help" the only two Republicans in seats safe enough to appear in public with him. No satire does justice to it!

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On September 24, 2026, Donald Trump used taxpayer money to run a campaign ad, then said he'd "campaign" in two of the safest Republican seats left.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Two important takeaways today: 1) His staff might not think it's flattering to plaster his name on the historical site where Abraham Lincoln was shot like it was a package of off-brand steaks, but they for sure think HE would think it was amazing. 2) They are absolutely 100% correct about that.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On September 23, 2026, Donald Trump clarified his position that the government SHOULD be able to punish free speech.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Are you skeptical about AI? Are you worried that people out to make a fast buck are breaking systems we need to work with no good plan to replace them? Well, would a rebranding suggestion from senile 80-year-old whose idea of high-tech is a button that gets him another Diet Coke change your mind?

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On September 22, 2026, Donald Trump used a diplomatic address to try to pump up his stock portfolio.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

This is potash. It's a mineral found in abundance not far from the United States, and available at cheap prices. Without it, there are no fertilizers and you will starve to death. Okay! Now you're up to speed to learn about Trump's exciting new plans to secure potash for the United States.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On September 21, 2026, Donald Trump proposed to get a vital fertilizer from a sanctioned, landlocked Russian ally 6,000 miles away instead of Canada.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

He said he'd put snipers on top of his "triumphal arch," which in his mind is a cheat code for skipping straight to Dictator Mode. You will note that the area in range of those snipers consists of a cemetery and a river, so don't ever say he's not keeping you safe from zombies and mermen.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On September 20, 2026, Donald Trump decided that his much-mocked "triumphal arch" was a military installation—just like his much-mocked ballroom.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Tired of hearing about how Trump is blundering a war so badly he's losing to a regional power the size and population of the eastern seaboard of the US? Because if so, we have an update: now he's losing a war to a local militia-state the size of Maine and the population of Henderson, Nevada.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On September 19, 2026, Donald Trump actually had to come into work on a weekend.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

He banned three major news organizations from the White House, presumably because they possessed advanced calendar technology that would shed some light on whether the agreement giving the US full military access to Greenland was done on his watch or Harry S. Truman's.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On September 18, 2026, Donald Trump announced "BREAKING NEWS" about Greenland that happened when he was four years old.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

He claimed another ridiculous fake power that would have made Stalin blush, which is always good for a laugh. Did you know he could stop you from fishing, citizen? Did you realize you need his permission to breathe? Are you aware the sun may not shine unless Trump, in his mercy, deigns to allow it?

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On September 17, 2026, Donald Trump said he had the power to "ban fishing" and in all likelihood probably believes that he does.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

He got mad that the Fed raised interest rates rather than committing economic suicide. But he's not mad because this means he won't get to refinance billions of dollars in mortgage debt he owes—perish the thought! He's just sad you'll pay more on the loan you'll need for a gallon of diesel, is all.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On September 16, 2026, Donald Trump got even more confused about basic economic reality than usual.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Don't worry about Trump's little tantrum today. Burning down something the size of the Kennedy Center would take hundreds of gallons of gasoline, and at the rate we're going that'll be way too expensive pretty soon.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On September 15, 2026, Donald Trump threw a private temper tantrum to match his public one over not getting to chisel his name on the Kennedy Center.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

What the ProPublica article doesn't mention is that Kremlev caught the bouquet, which according to tradition means he'll be the next Russian oligarch to ghostwrite Trump's Ukraine policy.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On September 14, 2026, Donald Trump said it was "not a big deal" that his son got caught accepting even more "gifts" from the Putin regime.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

He said he'd keep the land and oil we've already taken from Iran, which I would say is a promise he can keep (since the amount of both is zero) but then I'm not 100% sure this won't end with the US ceding Texas to Iran at the rate he's going.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On September 13, 2026, Donald Trump got even more confused than usual about Iran.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

Good news: as this map demonstrates, the chances that Donald Trump will blunder a THIRD major Middle Eastern navigational route directly into Iranian hands are very low. Although… uh… maybe just to be safe, don't get too sentimentally attached to the Suez Canal.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On September 12, 2026, Donald Trump said losing free navigation on the most important remaining sea lane out of the Middle East was "fine and dandy."

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Today is September 11th, the day on which we ̶h̶o̶n̶o̶r̶ ̶t̶h̶o̶s̶e̶ ̶w̶h̶o̶ ̶d̶i̶e̶d̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶a̶t̶t̶a̶c̶k̶s̶,̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶o̶s̶e̶ ̶w̶h̶o̶ ̶s̶a̶c̶r̶i̶f̶i̶c̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶i̶r̶ ̶l̶i̶v̶e̶s̶ ̶t̶r̶y̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶s̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶o̶t̶h̶e̶r̶s̶ blow off our stupid day job as President and skip town to go watch a golf tournament in another country.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On September 11th, 2026, on the 25th anniversary of the attacks, Donald Trump left the country to go to a golf course.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

The bad news: Trump will not be giving you $5,000 under any circumstances. But you knew that already, because literally nobody is stupid enough to believe that at this point. The good news: at the current rate of inflation, you'll be able to get $5,000 bills out of ATMs instead of twenties soon.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On September 10, 2026, Donald Trump sent his staff out to clean up the mess he made trying to bribe Americans for votes last night.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

Shown here: basically everyone in the entire world who believed Trump the first 100 times he declared victory in Iran (plus their staff, manservants, and mistresses). Anyway, he's got an exciting update on the war he's already totally absolutely 10,000% won. You'll never guess.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On September 9, 2026, Donald Trump shifted the end date of the Iran war from "definitely six months ago" to "maybe two months from now."

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

This is Welles Crowther, a volunteer firefighter who died on Sept. 11th saving 18 other people. If you'd prefer to think about the heroism and sacrifice of ordinary Americans as we approach the 25th anniversary of the attacks, maybe don't look into what Donald Trump did today.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On September 8, 2026, Donald Trump invented a brand new lie about his supposed 9/11 heroics to go with all the old ones.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

You know that little 60-seat jet you take to and from the hub airport? The ones that land at your little shit-burg airport that Donald Trump wouldn't be caught dead in? Yeah, he thinks you can do without that. Maybe just ride your mule to ATL or something.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On September 7, 2026, Donald Trump celebrated Labor Day in the United States by trying to move Canadian jobs to Brazil.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

He complained about Canada's currency. Unfortunately, it was some dementia-brained horseshit numerology, not the real issue: how unfair it is that you can make their $5 bill look like it has a picture of Spock but not ours.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On September 6, 2026, Donald Trump showed off another facet of his financial illiteracy.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

The posts on the actual blog are written in a neutral, journalistic tone. We don't make jokes. However, we are reporting on an enormous joke, so sometimes there's some bleak humor in it.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On September 5, 2026, Donald Trump announced the list of Republicans who can't get out of going to his "midterm convention."

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Today's topic really needs to be seen to be believed, but to give you an idea of how far gone his brain is, there's probably a Nobel Prize in Economics for anyone who can get him to sign this.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On September 4, 2026, Donald Trump made his most bizarre threat yet against the Federal Reserve.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

Is it a crime to embezzle $600,000 and to bribe a city councilman? Only if you stopped while there was still money to embezzle and politicians to pay bribes to. And only if Trump doesn't get a taste.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On September 3, 2026, Donald Trump commuted a sentence in keeping with his basic philosophy of clemency: if he's done it, it's not really a crime.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

Good news: you'll never actually have to see one of these coins, unless that one uncle adds it to his collection of "special memorabilia" your aunt told you about after she left him. Bad news: it's illegal to put a living person on US currency. Good news: a Trump coin won't ALWAYS be illegal.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On September 2, 2026, Donald Trump demanded and got an illegal US coin honoring himself.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

Okay, look, today's post mentions that MapQuest is letting you make your own name for Lake Ontario. It'd be journalistically irresponsible of us not to show an example in the header image. WTDT is dignified and objective… on the actual blog.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On September 1, 2026, Donald Trump managed to make a nearly defunct navigation app the top download in the United States

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

This is .05 gallons of gasoline, and in about 20 years, that's roughly what you'll get for free out of Trump's Venezuela heist. (Not counting the untold billions you'll spend in tax dollars getting the spigot turned on.) And if you believe that, perhaps he can interest you in some frozen steaks.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On August 31, 2026, Donald Trump tried to sell his Venezuelan oil grab but left out the many reasons it won't ever lead to lower prices at the pump.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

He threatened Kristen Welker with "rebuke or punishment" for pointing out that even a lot of Republican voters don't care what he thinks. I guess someone got Natalie a thesaurus.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On August 30, 2026, Donald Trump pretended he already has the fascist powers he wants.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

This account has posted about what Trump did on any given day 2,102 times. We'd kill for a slow news day where Trump is concerned. Unfortunately, just because Trump didn't do anything for once doesn't mean the power of his office is sitting idle.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On August 29, 2026, Donald Trump may or may not have been in control of what "Donald Trump" was saying.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

Last in war, last in peace, last in the hearts of his countrymen, but still #1 in the "committed so many crimes in broad daylight that even being the most powerful billionaire in the world couldn't get him off every hook" rankings.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On August 28, 2026, Donald Trump remained a convicted felon.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

China better watch its butt or it's going to get the same brutally effective, scorched-earth treatment that Canada did from History's Most Beautiful Dealmaker President.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On August 27, 2026, Donald Trump threatened China with economic sanctions as softly and unconvincingly as possible.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

You know, the Natalie Harps of the world come and go, but I'm sure it's a great comfort for Trump to know that Vladimir Putin will always yank the hardest on his puppet strings.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On August 26, 2026, Donald Trump said it was no big deal that his CIA director got caught on a secret trip to Russia.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

Today's post deals with Trump trying to make a beloved institution of charity, music, and education all about him. That is to say, the Kennedy Center. He also tried to parade his shit in front of the other sad news from today, but why even bother giving him the attention.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On August 25, 2026, Donald Trump threatened to destroy the Kennedy Center if he couldn't chisel his name into it.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

We'd welcome Natalie Harp to the blog on her first official mention, except God only knows how much of the idiocy that flows out of his phone has just been her freelancing this whole time. Anyway, we're not going to bother registering whattrumporpossiblynatalieharpdid.today.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On August 24, 2026, Donald Trump tried to project strength as his personal and political problems got worse by the moment.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

Americans hate data centers and nobody wants one built in their backyard: they drive up electricity prices, make constant noise, and emit harmful pollution. But don't worry—Trump would never be caught dead in the shithole flyover country places most Americans live, so what's the problem, he asks?

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On August 23, 2026, Donald Trump went to bat for data centers, which infuriate most Americans but please the people most likely to give him money.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

Americans often try to reduce Canada to stereotypes, but the truth is it's a large and complicated country—very much like the United States. The only major difference is that Canadians who hate Trump actually have political power, unlike the ~70% who disapprove of him here.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On August 22, 2026, Donald Trump took two completely opposite positions on tariffs in the space of a single 24-hour period.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

Yeah, it's funny in a morbid way that Trump's dementia ramblings have him talking about launching missiles at Goldman Sachs. But that misses the point, which is that if anyone could somehow lose a military campaign against a bunch of civilian office workers, it's Donald Trump.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On August 21, 2026, Donald Trump said he could use the military to bring down interest rates, and he wasn't kidding.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

Remember in 2017 when North Korea "released" an American college student they'd accused of petty theft, and Trump publicly kissed Kim Jong-un's ass because the corpse they sent back was still technically alive for a few minutes on American soil? Anyway, things have gotten less dignified than that.

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On August 20, 2026, Donald Trump got ten nuclear-capable missiles launched symbolically at him by the dictator he "fell in love" with.

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What Trump Did Today @whattrumpdidtoday.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

He unleashed a devastating new weapon against Iran: economic sanctions. Well, okay, it's not "new" in that they've been under sanction since 1980. But after another 46 years of it, they'll probably crack. Also, he said it in ALL CAPS on his little blog. That means he YELLED it. Very intimidating!

whattrumpdid.today

What Trump Did Today

On August 19, 2026, Donald Trump threatened Iran with the same economic consequences they've lived with for decades.

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