iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

“I’ll have a Cock, please.” “We have Penis. Is that okay?” *disappointed sigh* “I guess I’ll do a large Penis then.”

Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Did you know the word “shoop” from the ‘90s Salt-N-Pepa song of the same name is an abbreviation? It’s actually sho’op which is short for “shoot a poop”, so when they say, “you make me wanna shoop (shoop)” they’re really saying “you make me wanna shoot a poop (out of my ass)”.

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

My favorite hobby is traveling to famous allegedly haunted buildings and locations and then jerking off there so the ghosts have to watch.

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

Whenever I get bladder shy in a public bathroom I just tell the guy at the urinal next to me that I’m waiting for “my raging hard erection” to go down.

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

People talk about the “good old days”, but they never mention how you constantly only one shoe from each pair because you threw the other shoe at a loud cat in the alley while you were trying to sleep.

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

The last thing you see before the most ferocious blowjob you’ll ever receive.

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

The average person sucks 8 dicks in their sleep every year.

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 27/06/2026

Heavy hangs the balls of the horny man.

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 29/04/2026

Heading to the cholo tattoo shop to get a chica with sad clown makeup on my shoulder.

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 26/04/2026

When you’re eating it from the back and she blows one out her fart box.

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 17/04/2026

Daddy for femboy dating app called Twinkster.

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 17/04/2026

Really? This shot got like 30 likes on twinkster.

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 16/04/2026

When you live with two long haired women you’re going to end up with a long hair or two in your ass crack.

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 16/04/2026

When you live with two long haired women you’re going to end up with a long hair or two in your ass crack.

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 15/04/2026

Classroom of kids: “6 7! 6 7! HAHAHAHA!! 6 7!” Me: “7 8 9.” All the kids gasp. Some start crying. One kid throws up.

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 14/04/2026

Coworker that says “no homo” every time he wipes his ass.

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 10/04/2026

The “fuck her right in the pussy” guy walked so the “hawk tuah” girl could run.

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 02/04/2026

“And this is the rumpus room.” *opens door to reveal room full of people butt fucking*

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 02/04/2026

Pretending to find the clit as an April Fools day joke.

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 01/04/2026

Sorry I’ve been m.i.a. I was clinically dead for two weeks.

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 01/04/2026

The funniest thing about the trad wife culture is the idea that a woman wants to spend all day cleaning house, grocery shopping, and running errands, and then coming home to her husband and three adult sons pounding their fists on the table and chanting “Pasghetti! Pasghetti!”

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 03/03/2026

Lmao. Went to get a back alley abortion and the “doctor” came in with a toilet plunger.

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 03/03/2026

Listening to my kid babbling about Pokémon for the last 45 minutes.

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 01/03/2026

If you ever travel to Penisylvania don’t forget to rub garlic in your penis to protect yourself from gay vampires.

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 28/02/2026

“Doctor! Help! My wife has been in a terrible accident!” “You’ve come to the wrong place, pal. This is a pizzeria. But if your wife wants some mozzarella sticks we got you.” Pizza!🎵 And pasta!🎵 And salad and wings!🎵 Down at Dr. Pizza™ we got all of those things!🎵

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 21/02/2026

“Hotdogs are made from lips and assholes.” You’re not discouraging me, dawg. Those are my favorite parts of my girlfriend.

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 20/02/2026

Air Bud implies the existence of Water Bud, Earth Bud, and Fire Bud.

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 17/02/2026

Getting done from Cthulhu and then spending the rest of my life in an insane asylum trying to convince everyone how amazing it was.

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 14/02/2026

It’s better to have lobster on your piano than crabs on your organ. 😜 (I stole this from a Big Johnson shirt)

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 14/02/2026

My favorite prank call to make is when I call a bowling alley and ask, “Do you have 10lbs. balls?” And when they reply, “Yes we do.” I say “Deez nuts!”

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 26/01/2026

Warren Zevon voice: “Ah-oooooh! Hotdogs and onions.”

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 17/01/2026

2005 post: Calling Blockbuster every hour and asking if they have any copies of Shark Tale available.

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 16/01/2026

Apple Watch widget that shows my boner percentage rate.

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 06/01/2026

If you break into my house you’d better be prepared for the consequences.

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 04/01/2026

We should force all politicians over 70 to retire Midsommar style.

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 04/01/2026

Donald Trump has been championing the coal industry because he thought miners were actually minors.

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 03/01/2026

Sending The Rizzler to Venezuela.

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 03/01/2026

Farted on a canary at the pet store and it died.

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 03/01/2026

The Stranger Things series finale is 2 hours.

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 01/01/2026

Not sure what happened last night, but there’s a huge crack in my ass.

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 01/01/2026

New year, new me. (shaving my pubes into a landing strip)

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 31/12/2025

Here’s a neat life hack to take you into the new year: If you rub a little cooking oil on your b-hole before you do a poo you won’t need to wipe afterwards. Don’t have any cooking oil handy? No problem. Chapstick also works in a pinch.

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 30/12/2025

“Balki, please keep your tentacle genitalia away from the o’d'oeuvres.” “Sorry, cousin Larry!” -Perfect Strangers Things

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Whack Morris @whackmorris.bsky.social · 30/12/2025

Pretty sure Victor Frankenstein wanted to kill his creation because he gave him a huge fucking schlong and couldn’t overcome his own envy.

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