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War and Peas 🧿

@warandpeas.bsky.social
40K followers 268 following 1.7K posts

🌹 Comics by Elizabeth Pich & Jonathan Kunz 🌹 Patreon: www.patreon.com/warandpeas All Links: warandpeas.start.page Shop: warandpeas.com/shop

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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 10h
4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: Slutty Witch walks through a supermarket on her phone, her black cat Lord Nibbles at her feet. The vampire remarks, "Looks like everyone's a witch nowadays." Lord Nibbles jumps in his shopping cart. Panel 2: The vampire pushes the shopping cart with the cat inside and says to the witch "You should be glad. Witches are cool now." Panel 3: The vampire happily says, "Just like sucking people off is cool now, too!" Panel 4: Lord Nibbles in the cart looks mortified. "You've GOT to stop calling it that."
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Purpose
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Brokeback Mountain 2
4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: Two cowboys face off in a desert town. One says, "This town ain't big enough for the both of us." Panel 2: The other cowboy considers this. "Are you saying we should..." Panel 3: He looks hopeful. "...move?" Panel 4: Both cowboys ride off together on a horse-drawn wagon loaded with moving boxes, smiling.
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
We've handpicked the very best of War and Peas and teamed up with our local print studio to produce the comic art collection. All prints measure 24x30 cm (appr. 9.45x11.8 in), are signed on the front by both artists, and printed on high-quality 300g archival-grade paper.
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
He broke the system
4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A doctor at her desk says, "Mr. Johnson, I have to talk to you. Please have a seat." Panel 2: Mr. Johnson crosses his arms. "Absolutely not. I know that trick." Panel 3: "If I sit down, you'll tell me I'm gonna hear the worst. So I prefer standing." Panel 4: The doctor thinks to herself, "Damn... this guy's good."
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Praise the Lord!
4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: An angel in heaven reports to God on the clouds. "Heavenly Father, the humans have started being intimate for fun." Panel 2: "They've also started screaming your name when they climax." Panel 3: God considers. "Hmm... Not gonna lie..." Panel 4: God admits, "It does turn me on a bit."
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A man at a bar tells Slutty Witch, "You really need to find God." Panel 2: She looks irritated. "I do?" Panel 3: Slutty Witch walks through a dark forest at night, glowing eyes watching from the bushes. Panel 4: She sits on a log beside a massive pagan forest deity with antlers and a long beard who says, "I think you're doing great."
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Decades of Linda
4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A glowing blonde woman smiles radiantly. "Linda was beautiful." Panel 2: A long leg in a high heel stretches across the panel. "She had legs for days." Panel 3: An arm spans the frame. "Arms for weeks." Panel 4: Linda stands on a mountaintop like a goddess, arms spread against a sunset, with exaggerated proportions. "And breasts for years."
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
humans are chumps
8-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A man laughs at a mouse caught in a trap. "Haha, dumb mouse." Panel 2: The mouse, unfazed, next to a block of cheese. "Yes, I do love cheese." Panel 3: "I love cheese so much, I'm prepared to give everything for it." Panel 4: The mouse asks, "Have you ever loved anything that much?" Panel 5: The man stands alone against a dark sky, staring into the void. Panel 6: He sits on the floor, face in hands. "No..." Panel 7: He opens the trap, sobbing, and releases the mouse. Panel 8: The mouse relaxes in a cosy furnished mouse hole with bookshelves, eating cheese. "Haha, humans are chumps."
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Are you a cute mouse who loves comics? Then this bag is for YOU!
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
We know you like the comics or you wouldn’t be here. We tackle life’s big questions: Why are we here? Where do we come from? And why do worms make us so horny?
Two-panel meme: Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars, hooded and drained, labeled "People who silently just read the comics for years" / "I'm too weak." Below, the same character crackling with blue lightning, shouting "Unlimited Power!" labeled "Patreon Supporters."
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Borgus needed this
4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: Two green aliens on a spaceship. One comforts the other. "Come on. Cheer up, Borgus." Panel 2: Suggestions to lift his mood. "We could destroy a moon? ...or surf a black hole?" Panel 3: "Or we could party with our Earth friends." Both aliens perk up. Panel 4: A UFO beams up a mooing cow into a tractor beam. Through the window, the aliens are partying inside.
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Ahoy!
4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A pirate with a peg leg and hook hand tells his captain, "Captain, our rivals have been calling us names again!" Panel 2: "They said we were a bunch of handicaps!" Panel 3: The captain raises his fist. "That's ableism! And we don't tolerate that kind of talk here!" Panel 4: Wide shot of their pirate ship sailing at sunset, covered in rainbow sails, pride flags, trans flags, a peace symbol, and a disability accessibility flag alongside the Jolly Roger.
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Humor Satire Memes @funnysnarkyjoke.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
New COMIC SMACKDOWN just dropped! Patrons (EXTRAS level and higher) get to vote who wins in this epic battle of ideas ⚔️
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Walk Away
6-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A woman walks past a bush. A voice whispers, "Hey, Pssst." Panel 2: The bush asks, "What's your blood type?" Panel 3: She answers, "A positive. Why?" Panel 4: The bush recoils in disgust. "Bleurch! Just walk away." Panel 5: The woman crosses her arms. "I want to know why!" Panel 6: A vampire emerges from the bush, furious. "I said walk, you tasteless pig."
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Early comic just dropped! Patrons see new comics days before the public. www.patreon.com/warandpeas/p...
blurry comic
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Black Thumb
Panel 1: The Grim Reaper stands at a man's door holding a potted seedling, "I hereby hand over your father's remains." Panel 2: the Reaper continues, "It was his final wish to be planted under this seedling, so that he will grow into a mighty tree," and hands the pot over. Panel 3: The man carries the little plant into his living room which is filled with brown, withered houseplants that clearly didn't make it. Panel 4: Sweating, he holds the seedling and thinks, "One last cruel joke, right, Dad
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
Be the King of the road with our Anti Cars Stickers. All on one big sticker sheet!
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Reunited
Panel 1: Two dinosaurs gaze up at the sky as one says, "Look, Ronald! A shooting star!" while a fiery object streaks toward them. Panel 2: "Quick, make a wish!" the other urges as the blazing object grows closer. Panel 3: Gazing at each other, one dinosaur wishes, "I wish we could be together forever." Panel 4: A caption reads "150 million years later." In a modern home, a plastic laundry basket and a plastic water bottle recognize one another, "Barb, is that you?" "Ronald?" the two dinosaurs re
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
War and Peas turns 15 today! Exactly 15 years ago (almost to the hour) our little website blinked online, as a quiet corner of the internet where we could offload the ideas that needed a home.
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 06/09/2026
Back to trombonin', Mike.
5-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A man wearing a fedora watches TV. The screen says, "Hey, you at home!" Panel 2: The TV ad continues: "Are you being held captive by a group of raccoons and forced to play in their free-jazz band?" with a call-now number. Panel 3: The man picks up his phone and dials. Panel 4: A raccoon hand zips the TV off with a remote. Panel 5: The man sits surrounded by raccoons in a messy room. One hands him a bass. A raccoon says, "Back to trombonin' Mike." Mike gulps.
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A witch coos at her black cat, "Oh, Lord Nibbles! You cutie!" Panel 2: Kneeling by his castle-shaped litter box, she baby-talks, "You made a poo? A teeny stinky poo?" Panel 3: She scoops him up for a cuddle, gushing, "You cute little stinky sausage! I wuv you, Nibbles!" Panel 4: Later, alone at a laptop on a website called The Nibble, Nibbles types out a diary entry dated Sunday, February 20th: "And I found myself asking, why are humans so cringe?"
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
You were put on this earth to shake what your mama gave you, but instead, you’re staring at a spreadsheet, wondering how many more years until retirement. We understand your pain and distilled it into this glittering, holographic sticker that’s tragic and iconic at the same time.
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
A friendship can be sincere and transactional at the same time. Ask a cat.
4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A robot shoots laser beams from its eyes across a living room while a delighted black cat named Nibbles chases the red dots, laughing, "Ahahaha." Panel 2: The robot turns and asks earnestly, "Nibbles, be honest... Why do you really hang out with me?" Panel 3: The cat looks up sincerely and answers, "What do you mean? You're my friend and I love you very much." Panel 4: Then Nibbles goes right back to swatting at the laser and adds, "But let's keep those lasers coming."
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
Good Mood
4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A smiling man strolls into the office with a briefcase and calls out, "Morning, Barb!" Panel 2: A woman at her computer answers flatly, "Morning, Carl." Panel 3: She frowns and wonders to herself, "Why is he always in such a good mood?" Panel 4: The man walks off with a wide, blissful smile, thinking, "I hate it at home."
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Couples who haunt together, stay together.
4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A ghost wakes with a startled "GASP" in bed and cries, "Honey, I had a dream you died!" Panel 2: The other ghost calmly replies, "Sweetie, we're already dead." Panel 3: Nuzzling their partner, they add, "We were murdered by that crazy axe killer, remember?" Panel 4: Reassured, the first ghost sighs, "Oh, right... what a relief," as the couple drifts back to sleep beneath a crescent moon.
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
Putting art on your wall transforms those ordinary moments when you're just walking past into tiny moments of joy – like discovering a twenty in an old jacket, except it happens every single time you notice it.
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Another comic that made a content violation on Webtoon because of "rear nudity"
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A cheerful ladybug picks on a young mantis in a cap and backpack named Timmy and gasps, "Oh my God, Timmy, look!" Panel 2: In the grass lies a headleass praying mantis mate, who did not survive the night. Panel 3: The ladybug grins and says, "Looks like someone got lucky last night." Panel 4: Timmy forces a nervous, sweating smile and laughs, "Yeah... hahahaha..."
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
We all know the internet's algorithm overlords have decided they get to curate your digital life. Our newsletter is different. It's the antidote to algorithmic paternalism. Every week, at least one new funny strip appears in your inbox like a tiny comic relief to your everyday stress.
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
5-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A witch carries her worn-out broom into "Ye Ol' Broom Shoppe," where a green, fanged witch clerk remarks, "That thing's got a lotta mileage." Panel 2: The witch explains, "Yeah, my girlfriend and I went to Transylvania to meet her folks." Panel 3: The clerk grins, "Oh, got yourself a vampire girlie, huh?" Panel 4: The witch asks, "You think we could put a padded seat in the back or something?" Panel 5: The witch flies through the clouds on her broom, which now has a cozy padded canopy seat on the back where her vampire girlfriend lounges comfortably, reading.
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
4-panel comic by War and Peas Panel 1: A woman with black hair in a bun, wearing a black dress, stands against a red background, gesturing as she speaks. She says, "Ok, girls. You really need to show our guests more affection." Panel 2: She continues, "Sit on their lap, let them touch you a bit." Panel 3: She says, "Rub against their leg. You know the drill." Panel 4: The reveal: the woman is inside a cat café. Several cats of different colours sit on chairs and tables around the room. A "CAT CAFE" sign is visible reversed on the window. One black cat (Lord Nibbles) says, "I quit."
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 03/05/2026
6-panel comic by War and Peas Panel 1: Inside a car at night. A vampire drives. Fuzzy dice and a tree air freshener hang from the mirror. The vampire says, "Don't look but I think we're being followed." Panel 2: The passenger (Slutty Witch) turns around, alarmed. She says, "Oh, fuck! Not again!" Panel 3: Outside view: a giant purple spider with green joints and multiple eyes chases the car down a dark road. Panel 4: Inside the car. Slutty Witch, now wearing sunglasses sips a drink. She says, "I told you to take off that damn bumper sticker!" The vampire grips the wheel, unamused. Panel 5: Close-up of the car's rear. A yellow bumper sticker reads "SPIDERS ARE FRIENDS" Panel 6: The giant spider chases the car across a mountainous landscape. The spider calls out, "Wait! Are you guys into tap dancing!?"
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A pink worm stands at a podium before a crowd of insects. "Welcome to this year's Bug Conference." Panel 2: Close-up of the worm at the podium. "Firstly, the stick bug would like to remind everyone, they're not a coat rack." Panel 3: A stick bug stands in a spotlight, covered in hats, coats, scarves, and accessories hung on every limb. Panel 4: Close-up of the stick bug resigning: "Thanks, Janet."
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: In an exam room, a masked doctor sits at the foot of a chair where a witch reclines for a check-up and says, "Ok, let's see." Panel 2: A bat suddenly flies out from under the sheet and the startled doctor throws up his hands, shouting, "WHOA!" Panel 3: As the bat flaps away, the doctor remarks, "It must've been a while." Panel 4: The witch replies, "Oh no, that was just my boyfriend."
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Oh, to be a cow...
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
New exclusive comic straight from our sketchbook. On Patreon (Extras level and above): www.patreon.com/warandpeas
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
This comic was banned on Webtoon for nudity
4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A tired office worker at a desk with a computer and charts thinks, "I wish I'd followed my passion and become an artist." Panel 2: An artist painting at an easel thinks, "I wish I had gone into a more financially stable profession." Panel 3: A split panel shows both of them side by side, each wistful and longing for the other's life. Panel 4: A vast, empty landscape of mountains and sky stretches out beneath the words "The end."
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
First Grim Reaper comic
4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: The Grim Reaper cruises across a field on a skateboard, scythe in hand, cape billowing behind it. Panel 2: The Reaper leans toward a couple of kids and dares them, "Bet you can't do a kickflip over the shark tank." Panel 3: A confident boy in a yellow shirt and cap steps onto his board beside a tank full of circling shark fins and grins, "Betcha I can, old man!" Panel 4: A close-up of the Grim Reaper, quietly delighted, as it says, "I love my job."
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: An industrial building with a glowing sign reads "Dams Inc.," smokestacks puffing behind it. Panel 2: A hugely muscular beaver kicks open the CEO's office door, flexing, and shouts, "Time for sweet payback!" as the startled boss yelps, "Ah!" Panel 3: The buff beaver grabs the terrified executive, cackling "Muahahaha" and declaring, "You like being spanked, Mr. Big Dam!" Panel 4: The scene cuts to a bedroom, where the sweating man lies awake beside his wife, who sighs, "Oh, honey, was it Buff Beaver again?"
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Zach Weinersmith @zachweinersmith.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
Too bad they never made any Star Wars prequels or sequels. Probably for the best.
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Marko (Nerd and Jock Comics) @markoraassina.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
4 panel comic by War and Peas. 1. Panel: Two aliens look through the window of a house. One of them goes, "This must be the alpha species of the planet." 2. Panel: They present an alien gift to an orange cat who sits on the top of a couch and say "We come in peace." 3. Panel: The alien gift sits next to the cat who looks at the it. 4. Panel: The cat pushes the gift off the couch.
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
Webtoon is one of the most horrific example for enshittification.
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
We've got greeting cards for every occasion: divorce, the birth of a child or when you're friend finally quits their toxic job. And then there are cards for when nothing has happened at all: when no one was born or quit or anything and you simply thought of someone on a Tuesday and wanted to say so.
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Happily Forever After
4-panel comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: In a public restroom, the Grim Reaper strides toward a man washing his hands, thinking, "Your time has come" while a strip of toilet paper trails from the Reaper's own shoe. Panel 2: The cheerful man points and says, "Hey, pal. You got some toilet paper on your shoe there." Panel 3: The Reaper glances down and mutters, "Uhm... Thanks." Panel 4: As the man strolls out into the sunshine, the embarrassed Reaper quietly crosses his name off a long list.
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War and Peas 🧿 @warandpeas.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
"The opposite of fascism is neither socialism nor communism. The opposite of fascism is democracy. Anti-fascism is democracy."
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