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Vswarte

@vswarte.bsky.social
20 followers 18 following 95 posts

synthesizing semen in my balls he/him

PostsRepliesMedia
Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Reversing and porting the Elden Ring shaders into bevy. Sans AI "breakthroughs" because I'm not a sad larper loser and I know what I'm doing
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
I've thought extensively about why people would use AI for reversing. 1) you're too fucking stupid to actually read the decomp. Which by any measure isn't that hard. 2) you have the motivation of a dead seagull and have ceased caring about your passion ages ago. Yes I am talking about radai
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
The lanterns in Raya Lucaria are supposed to sway but due to, what is seemingly, an export error they do not (properly anyways). This confirms that Elden Ring is fundamentally unplayable trash.
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Chicken™: reimagined
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 29/05/2026
the Nobel peace prize but like the inverse of this
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 22/04/2026
happy girthday
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 22/04/2026
My top 10 tips getting good at reversing game exes for modding (5 years of experience): 1) do it a bunch 2) do it a bunch 3) do it a bunch 4) do it a bunch 5) do it a bunch 6) do it a bunch 7) do it a bunch 8) do it a bunch 9) do it a bunch 10) wonder to yourself why you ever wanted to do this
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 14/04/2026
Everyone reading this technically survived the titanic
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 14/04/2026
Runtime bone stuff again
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 09/04/2026
dicks out for mohg
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 29/03/2026
In the end, the real epstein files were the friends we made along the way
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Reposted by Vswarte
Val 🏳️‍⚧️ @valer8.bsky.social · 03/03/2026
I have talked about this before in several places, but to restate it again to a more public audience; please do not play the "Demon's Souls Expanded Mod" by SirAw50m3. He has continuously stolen mods from others to add to his own without any permission; including myself several times. (1/4)
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 21/02/2026
BALLS
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 14/02/2026
I am eating this entire bag of mozzarella and none of you shits van stop me
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 13/02/2026
mosquitoes are working for the corporate elite to acquire blood without those outdated ritualistic sacrifices
000
Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 12/02/2026
how does the michelin man reproduce??
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 11/02/2026
I was reading the epstein files and ███████ that ██████████████ ██████████████ where ████ █████████████████████
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 26/01/2026
sactorio
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 25/01/2026
Spiders hidden in MY coat??
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 22/01/2026
"I disagree you can't just say that tuna is better than~" Be honest who would win in a fight?
Inferior salmonSuperior tuna
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 22/01/2026
Salmon is just inferior tuna tbh
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 22/01/2026
smoffee: coffee preloaded with smint mints
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 18/01/2026
I guess the world just isn't ready for sex 2
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 09/01/2026
For some reason I keep accidentally turning the player into an ant while reversing. Totally not what I'm trying to achieve but the result remains funny
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 09/01/2026
⠀
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 08/01/2026
Those silica bags that say "do not eat"? The corporate elite simply does not want you to know how tasty they are.
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 08/01/2026
Tramp stamps are for extra traction to the ground much like spoilers on cars. Nobody talks about this
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 08/01/2026
How do I save drafts on this godforsaken app
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 08/01/2026
Bad news for all the cum in the world: I just woke up
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 28/12/2025
They were. They failed.
010
Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 28/11/2025
Reasonable mfers are always like "let's talk about it"
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 14/11/2025
I have successfully uploaded my consciousness to pornhub and all I got was a handjob... From myself.
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 10/11/2025
Metting garried
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 25/10/2025
Adding fall damage back into nightreign :weedchamp:
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 12/10/2025
I'm totally open for special funding from the Whitehouse. I will even stop making fun of right wingers! Pinky promise!
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 09/10/2025
No, your honor, I did not overthrow the entire Gambian government with just pictures of my feet. My armpits were also involved
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 07/10/2025
Let me explain: *breaks down in expressive dance*
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 04/10/2025
I swear there's cohesive thoughts in this head. They're usually about McDonald's breakfast and quaternions but they're cohesive nonetheless
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Reposted by Vswarte
Fun @funkelly.bsky.social · 03/10/2025
why do we always have to pee so bad can’t we just pee so good
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 02/10/2025
How do we get all the piss out of drinking water nobody knows
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 27/09/2025
I firmly believe that we need to ACT NOW and start teaching cats how to safely operate firearms.
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 24/09/2025
Imma be real
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 09/09/2025
Considering to think about doing something
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 04/09/2025
A microwave designed to make food only moderately warm
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 20/08/2025
Probably late to this discussion but I'd eat a Pokémon
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 28/07/2025
When the elderly die I may finally be able to buy a house without parting with any of my organs
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 23/07/2025
SMG (shaking my girth)
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 20/07/2025
I have decided to withdraw from the 2028 presidential election.
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 08/06/2025
Nightreign
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Vswarte @vswarte.bsky.social · 01/02/2025
A single chicken burger too many
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