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Abigail Jensen

@vibeslut.bsky.social
147 followers 93 following 396 posts

Know as @vibeslut on insta. I post about sx, dating, relationships, and the random shit that pops in my head :)

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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 25/12/2025
When my cousin was a kid she was afraid of Santa which I totally get cause like why is this old weirdo in our house?? Does stranger danger mean nothing !!
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 23/12/2025
Does anyone actually use the slit in spanx to go to the bathroom bc I tried to use it this weekend (drunkenly) and fully just peed on myself So unsure if it was user error or the slit is performative
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 06/12/2025
Me in college walking a mile to the bars in the snow bc Uber didn’t exist yet #rhoslc
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 01/12/2025
Tampons have gotten too expensive. If you have a problem with me free bleeding blame capitalism
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 01/12/2025
If you have a kid who’s allergic to dogs what do you do with the kid??? Can you give them to a shelter
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 20/11/2025
Bronwyn, cheat on your husband!! #rhoslc
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 20/11/2025
I’m shocked Lisa and John have been married this long #rhoslc
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 18/11/2025
Men in romantasies are 500 yrs old because that’s how long it takes for men to find the cl!t
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 16/11/2025
Demi is pure evil like WTF #slomw
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 16/11/2025
I need the RHOSLC women to learn from the Mormon wives. Take out your phone when drama happens! #slomw
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 16/11/2025
Jordan being like you guys don’t control your wives but what if you did 🤮 #slomw
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 16/11/2025
Jordan trying to turn Jessi’s community against her… cool cool cool #slomw
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 16/11/2025
God every season I’m reminded Taylor Frankie Paul is an absolute star #slomw
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 15/11/2025
Jordan continuing to say he was emasculated is giving me weird manosphere vibes #slomw
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 14/11/2025
Omg the LA rain is a perfect excuse to stay in and watch secret lives of Mormon wives all weekend!
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 13/11/2025
If vampires are real I would like 32 to stay my age forever so please come and turn me before September !
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 13/11/2025
Shawn took a 23&me and the results came back 100% horse
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 13/11/2025
Angie’s family history: Greek Shawn’s family history: Horses??? #rhoslc
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 13/11/2025
Why do the bravo producers never have cameras up during the best moments??? #rhoslc
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 13/11/2025
The concept of telling your friend that your husband is cheating on you while dressed like Ms. Frizzle taking a field trip to the Senate #rhoslc
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 12/11/2025
I like my men like I like my coffee… I don’t drink coffee
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 10/11/2025
I once told my therapist that if I’m not anxious I don’t know what I’m supposed to think about Anyways, I’m on Prozac now
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 09/11/2025
Why can’t they make fitted sheets just sliiiiiightly bigger
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 08/11/2025
I work for myself so I actually ruin my workplace everyday
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 08/11/2025
Just watched Sinners for the first time and holy hell not overhyped at all. Truly a movie that feels like a movie!!! In utter awe
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 08/11/2025
I don’t care if the chemicals slowly kill me, I will light a candle and have a cozy time
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 06/11/2025
My main goal in life is just to have a really good time and I think that’s beautiful
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 06/11/2025
Is farting the theme of the season? #rhoslc
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 05/11/2025
Zohran winning !!! We’re so back baby
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 04/11/2025
Welp out with the old and in with the new. Can’t wait for Zohran to win today!
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 04/11/2025
My favorite part of watching most movies is pointing out other movies the actors have been in and having a new movie in my arsenal for next time I see the actor in a different movie
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 04/11/2025
I don’t believe in boy movies like as soon as a lot of boys like a movie I’m like yeah that movie isn’t for me. This is why I have never seen interstellar
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 02/11/2025
Millennials! We can’t afford homes and at one point we made Harry Potter our entire personality but did you know we’re actually the h0rniest generation?! Over half of millennials report having S*x in the past month so at least that’s something
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 01/11/2025
Getting ready for Halloween listening to the new Florence + the Machine album is perfection
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 31/10/2025
Being a billionaire is so embarrassing and real loser behavior
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 30/10/2025
Wow the yacht dinner might be the first time I’ve felt bad for Lisa Barlow #rhoslc
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 29/10/2025
A Haunted House but it’s a guy talking to himself in your DMs
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 28/10/2025
A Haunted House but it’s waking up to pee in the middle of the night and your dog thinking it’s time to go out
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 23/10/2025
Marrying a former theater kid means neither of us know what day sports are on and I think that’s beautiful
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 20/10/2025
I’ve tried protecting my peace, I’ve tried partying late into the night … I recommend hanging with your girlies at the babbling brook
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 17/10/2025
The sexual tension between me and my new king size bed is cRaZY
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 16/10/2025
No but livin laughin lovin is really the secret to happiness
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 16/10/2025
Two glasses of wine is the perfect amount. I can’t stop kicking my feet and giggling
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 16/10/2025
Yes I did donate my hair to Kim Kardashian’s bush thong thank you so much for asking
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 15/10/2025
I love seeing reality stars in commercials because it’s like oh yeah you are not acting on that show because you are in fact very bad at acting
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 15/10/2025
IG will be like “your reels were shown to less people this month” Okay…. And whose fault is that?!???
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 15/10/2025
I’ve read non-fiction, I’ve read fiction I recommend falling in love with a fantasy book and making it your entire personality.
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 14/10/2025
I’ve tried dating women, I’ve tried dating men… I recommend adopting a dog
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 14/10/2025
I’ve tried corporate America, I’ve tried being a freelancer I recommend selling coconuts on the beach
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Abigail Jensen @vibeslut.bsky.social · 14/10/2025
Me: Eats a banana Me: Immediately googles benefits of eating bananas
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