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vermiliumn

@vermiliumn.bsky.social
66 followers 81 following 203 posts

never a waif, ever astray

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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
brain: hey are we unrolled me: jesus christ what brain: unrolled me: brain: for the generous erection on Nov 7 me: *ups dose*
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
brain: you know me: fucksake HERE we go brain: if oyster is a comparative form, we might suppose the superlative is oystest, and the base simply oyst me: brain: me: you'll be simply oyst in a minute
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
brain: hey so anyway why do we say 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘴 when referring to the latter part of that decade? me: [flinches, plays dead] brain: when it's clearly more economical to say... me: [corpselike af] brain: The Laties me: [ponders funeral arrangements]
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
me: [posts long reel] Instagram: oops haha, reels over 3 minutes won't be recommended to new audiences me: o no, the AI thirst trap OF bots won't like my reel, this is devastating news and my day is unsalvageable
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
"with all due respect" (precisely zero respect is in fact due)
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
brain: every time I read 𝘩𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘴 I hear 𝘩𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘶𝘴 - what does this mean? me: that we're a terrible person, probably
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
brain: do we gird anything else or is it mainly loins? me: just go
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
brain: hey you know the present participle of do, 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 me: brain: ever notice how it's also the word *DOING* like the sound effect me: brain: so we should absolutely definitely from now on till forever always say *DOING* to ourselves when we read that word me: brain: hello?
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
brain: 👀 me: 😑 brain: 👀 me: let's get this over with brain: l o b e r n a t e me: brain: bears hibernate in winter but we love winter and loathe summer. It's spring now so we should go into lobernation. We must lobernate. me: LET'S. FUCKIN. GO.
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
brain: you know, if Alanis Morissette were a hardcore activist, we could call her... me: shhh brain: me: brain: Alarmist Morissette
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
brain: FURTHERMORE me: jesus christ brain: why do we say people are obese, when we could say they have a... me: ₙₒₒ brain: girth defect
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
brain: you know, these semaglutide brands really failed with the names me: what brain: wegovy, mounjaro, ozempic... BORING me: brain: they could've gone with... me: no brain: Girth Control™
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
brain: what if Dolly Parton and Jane Goodall and Sam Neill all had to go because that's the calibre of angel this world needs right now? me: 💔 brain: 💔
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
shout out to those in the veterinary industry who still can't see the acronym AI without automatically assuming we're talking 𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 🐄
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
(4:12am) brain: hey psst, you awake? me: absolutely not brain: I think we should call measles... me: zzz brain: me: ZZZ brain: diseasles
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
PSA for parents: enticing your teen to do housework by suggesting you ✨️collab✨️ does NOT work. Alas.
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
brain: hey so why don't horror film writers create me: brain: me: brain: screamplays me: I'm begging you to ask literally anyone else
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
Please. It's Sunday morning. I'm begging y'all for 𝘚𝘢𝘹𝘰𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴 𝘎𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘘𝘶𝘪𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘳. The loud ones are suddenly everywhere.
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
Just watched Exorcist Beginning & Exorcist Dominion thinking the former was an Exorcist prequel, the latter a prequel of sorts to Beginning. No idea they're the same story told twice. Fucksake. Thought I was: 1 losing my mind 2 overmedicated 3 undermedicated 4 lucid dreaming or a combo of all 4
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Disabled targeted ads and the results are sometimes... interesting. Currently being served back-to-back ads for sex toys and Christian-only dating apps 💦🙏
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
brain: you know how some gays have mad skills at interior design me: uh brain: why aren't they called me: brain: me: brain: inqueerior designers
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 31/07/2026
Why did no one tell me about the Merriam Webster Time Traveler Tool sooner? Words first recored by year. Here's seven (because five is dull) glorious af words for my birth year: - cell suicide - air guitar - electronica - kerning - killing field - retronym - black smoker
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 26/07/2026
brain: hey I made a vent diagram me: that’s 𝘝𝘦𝘯𝘯 brain: nuh uh
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
brain: you know me: oh boy brain: Gene Wilder implies the existence of a more roguish, caffeinated, elaborate me: you don't have to do this brain: me: brain: Gene Wildest
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
brain: you know how people get hangry me: I already hate this brain: do you think vampires get me: don't do it brain: me: brain: me: brain: FANGRY
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
Haven't driven my car since JANUARY and it has the completely foreseeable GALL to have flat battery when I want to drive it today. I'm now killing TIME posting pithy remarks on BLUESKY while it IDLES for 40 minutes.
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
Early in our therapeutic relationship for my MDD et al, I told my psychologist I was reading Y. Hoffman's 𝘑𝘢𝘱𝘢𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘋𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩 𝘗𝘰𝘦𝘮𝘴 and that yup it's exactly what it sounds like. I believe her reply was "SIGH, 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵?" She still brings it up years later lol. Sometimes I think she doesn't know me at all 😒
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
brain: would ya look at that beautiful river me: yes brain: but why don't we call it— me: don't do it brain: me: brain: a leak of nature me: you're a leak of nature
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
Tidy kitchen before bed only to wake to the aftermath of another round of Weetbix For Breakfast, which should clearly be renamed Yeetbix™ because apparently getting cereal on as much of the bench as possible is an integral part of the experience.
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
therapist: and instead of ignoring it, what do we do when there's a message we need to reply to? me: we use the ran— therapist: *bonk* NOT the random emoji generator
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
PSA: please refrain from purchasing any bags of Pascall Passionfruit Pavlova Lumps. I'll be needing to buy every bag so that I may eat them until I die (which will probably now be sooner than expected but, honestly, what a way to go). TIA for your understanding.
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
brain: ok HILARIOUS comment you made on that post me: ikr brain: me: brain: me: brain: you're like 6 weeks late tho and no one's commenting anymore me: so we delete it? brain: we 👏 delete 👏 it 👏
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
brain: we're should probably get our life together me: bro we don't even have our life apart brain: touché me: touché
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 12/06/2026
brain: so if someone dies they're then called 'the late ____ '? me: yep brain: bit harsh, they can't help it me: honestly fair
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 10/06/2026
Milestone moment at ours. Stumbled upon carefully hidden snacks shoved way back on the top shelf of the pantry. I didn't hide them. My kid did. From me. Because I have apparently zero self control where potato chips are concerned. Jesus Christ. 🐖.
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 07/06/2026
brain: see it's pride month again me: yep brain: do you think the opposite would be prude month? me: wtf
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 07/06/2026
brain: I'm just saying how much hedge can they realistically hog? me: this could've been a poem
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 04/06/2026
brain: lowly-strung me: brain: highly-strung indicates some must be lowly-strung me: brain: think it's just for short people? me: howsabout we just focus on driving brain: boring
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 22/05/2026
brain: icktuition me: omg what me: when we get the ick about someone me: brain: it's actually our icktuition me: so right yet so wrong again, brain
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 20/05/2026
brain: we're flappable me: sorry what brain: some people are resolutely unflappable, we're not me: brain: we're flappable me: if only that were all
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 03/05/2026
brain: Hey I've been narrowing down our love language. How's this? - Acts of Nervousness - Quality Rhyme - Words of Consternation - Cynical Touch - Swift Misgivings me: I didn't request this, brain brain: 🥰
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 30/04/2026
[collecting meds] pharmacist: any questions? brain: ooh ask why don't we call haiku 'microetry' me: NOPE NO QUESTIONS
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
That warm dystopian glow of pride when your chatbot is briefly stumped 🤌🤌🤌
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
Daydreaming at the checkout when I realise the cashier is waiting for me to move up. I give a startled overcompensatory loud HELLOOOO but she just stares at me. Bit rude. Then I see her name tag: HILLOO. Mortified.
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 25/04/2026
brain: ok we're trialling swapping TIA for GFIA me: girlfriend? gluten free? brain: get fucked me: yes
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 15/04/2026
Metservice: Severe Weather Warning immediately me:
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 05/04/2026
brain: all I'm saying is Aristophanes' comedies should be called Aristophunnies me: barely hanging on here, brain
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 30/03/2026
Belatedly bingeing Peaky Blinders and as I work unaffected through the seasons' brutality I'm becoming increasingly concerned something will happen to Curly. Too scared to google, too invested to stop 🫣
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 18/03/2026
you are the the average of the five people you spend the most time with and it's just - sarcastic inner voice - a long-dead poet - a hubristic cat - a numerically-unreliable LLM - that homeless guy who dances w pigeons
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vermiliumn @vermiliumn.bsky.social · 15/03/2026
brain: human connection is dying huh me: yup brain: just hunting dopamine now huh me: yup brain: Instantgramification huh me: yup
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