The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 28/09/2026My favorite part of the VMAs was assuming that crap ended 10 years ago. Seriously, they still do it? Why? Honest to God, what's the point? 100
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 18/09/2026It's going to be hard for Republicans to run on anything besides racism anymore seeing as every one of their Project 2025-derived policies has proven to be apocalyptically idiotic. These were literally your best minds who cooked this shit up. How embarrassing this all must be. 000
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 06/09/2026I'm literally drinking Folgers right now because the only beans we have in the house are Starbucks and they make the whole house smell like a demon's asshole. 000
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 08/08/2026His name is Gluck, he doesn't like to fuck. 000
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 08/08/2026The entire US economy is a scam. A grift. A ponzi scheme wrapped in a pyramid scheme stuffed inside a game of three-card monte. There’s nothing real left to sell. So fortunes are made by selling nothing for as long as you can before getting caught. 110
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 09/06/2026Los Angelords, here's a complete list of all the reasons you should vote for Karen Bass instead of Nithya Raman 000
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 09/06/2026Wakanda in Black Panther wasn't some Afro-futurist fantasy. Africa comprises the most resource-rich countries in the world. If it weren't for centuries of colonizers stripping their resources by force, Africa would be driving space-cars while The West devolved into subsistence squirrel hunters. 000
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 09/06/2026Africa's Economy = Obsession Asia's Economy = Backrooms Europe's Economy = Scary Movie 6 U.S. Economy = Masters of the Universe Now which one would you rather bet your retirement on? 000
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 03/06/2026I like my black forest ham like I like my STDs: Uncured. 000
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 20/05/2026So somehow, thankfully, THE BOYS managed to mostly stick the landing. It wasn't a perfect series closer by any stretch but it won't make you scream profanities at your TV-watching-device either (the way many recent series finales have done). 100
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 16/05/2026It's hilarious that when a bona fide centrist lib like Z-Dawg Mamdani applies basic bitch Scandi DS principals to NYC -- and it works -- people act like a) he parted the Red Sea or b) this is a vast conspiracy. Of course it worked, dipshits. The city budget could've been balanced THIS WHOLE TIME. 110
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 13/05/2026THE BOYS final season drop-off in quality is easily the worst since GAME OF THRONES. They keep making "meta" jokes about using AI to write scripts but I seriously wonder if that's what's at play here. 000
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 09/05/2026When the Democrats get similarly scrubbed in the midterms there will be think-pieces about how the party moved too far left. There will also be think-pieces about how the party moved far right. Some will blame Zionism. Others will blame antisemitism. None will blame rigged elections. 010
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 08/05/2026Why do the poors hate us? Anyway here's some pics of us at the Met Gala for you to look at while eating cold Chef Boyardee straight from the can on 15-minute break break at your third part time job. 120
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 08/05/2026Which is not to say that establishment neoliberal parties in the UK and the US did not make the bed they are currently lying in. But far-right politics aren't nearly as "populist" as people want us to believe. Populist policies generally aren't shared by billionaires. 000
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 08/05/2026Y'all willing to talk about fascists rigging elections yet? 000
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 06/05/2026Ken Griffin and Steve Roth should be careful what they wish for. "Tax the rich" might get them piqued but it's still a lot more generous than what the majority of Americans want done to them. 000
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 05/05/2026I love how the legacy media is covering Met Gala like this is something normal people might care about let alone have a positive opinion of when literally everyone I know wishes Khaleesi would roll up on one of her dragons and go King's Landing on it. 000
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 05/05/2026"Political violence is wrong" is the new "thoughts and prayers." Mamdani wore that shit like a kente cloth and fash-USA creamed him for it anyway. Next time just say what we were all thinking: We need some MFs with better aim. 000
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 02/03/2026Any actual dermatologists want to tell us what that weird patch of crusty red skin on Trump's neck is? Obviously the White House is going to lie about it, whatever it is. 000
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 02/03/2026Naming your dog wag Ep(stein)ic F(iles)ury is a Simpsons trope too tropey for any Simpsons episode past season 24. 000
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 01/03/2026Hey lib apologists saying "but Iran killed a bunch of protestors"... you get that that was a CIA op, yeah? You get that this is just the Jakarta Method all over again for the 8000th time, yeah? Maybe you just like war. Maybe it's in your bones, you're just not comfortable with saying it out loud. 000
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 19/02/2026The "well actually Epstein killed himself" crowd cracks me up. "There's no evidence" um do you not know what evidence is? 100
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 19/02/2026Epstein: Suicide by DOJ or living it up in some tropical paradise? The former seems cleaner. Dead men tell no tales. But someone using gmail for a treasure trove of potentially incriminating correspondence brings enough no-fucks-given energy that I'd assume he had a dead man's switch. 100
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 19/02/2026buttondown.com/VelvetAmbass...buttondown.comKC and the Sunshine Band You might have noticed, when our reigning techno-fascists are given a microphones and some time to talk, that they all sound like they're completely out of... 000
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 19/02/2026I use buttondown because it's not a VC-backed ponzi, you can disable tracking cookies, and its open-source. Perhaps there are better options out there - I know people like Ghost but are they really metal or just a pop band with Satanic imagery? Wait wrong Ghost - but yeah substack suckstak. 010
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 18/02/2026Re AOC and Taiwan: Stammering after a tough question is not a "gotcha." Answering a question confidently with sensible-sounding babble is. We don't want more leaders who can bullshit on a dime with absolute confidence. It's not working out too well. Would you agree? 000
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 17/02/2026Why are tax dollars being spent on massive ICE detention centers? I thought we were deporting people? And why are WAREHOUSES specifically being repurposed? These are questions you don't know the answer to if you haven't seen ANDOR S1. Who built the Death Star? Hint: It wasn't Storm Troopers. 010
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 16/02/2026The biggest problem with social media is that only the ideas we already agree are platformed. We aren't sharing because "wow I never thought of it this way." We're sharing it because "this is exactly how I feel." 110
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 16/02/2026If Robert Kraft is forced to sell the Patriots due to Epstein it will be the greatest day in Patriots history since February 3, 2002. 000
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 15/02/2026You just described the UK's "common culture." Not ours. But you wouldn't know this because you're not from here. You're a carpetbagger with multiple passports and your loyalties lie wherever you can make the most money and pay the least tax. That's not "culture." That's business. And it's boring. 110
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 14/02/2026buttondown.com/VelvetAmbass...buttondown.comGuilt by AssociationThere are a lot of names in the Epstein files and not everyone with a brief mention in an email exchange between illiterate billionaire douchebags was... 000
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 14/02/2026Anyone with even a remote whiff of Jee Vacation on them needs to be MeToo'd harder than Louis CK doing a set in Riyadh of his favorite Bill Cosby bits. 110
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 14/02/2026I notice "Wood Art" is trending. I've got a "Leaning Tower of Pisa" wood art sculpture (in my pants) if anyone wants to see it. DM for link to my OF. 000
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 14/02/2026Conspiracy Theory: Trump had Charlie Kirk Kirk'd. Same way they got that nerdy kid to fake-shoot his ear off. They have some pseudo-manchurian candidate shit going on with radicalized social media. CIA's been working on this shit since MK-Ultra, maybe private industry (e.g. palantir) perfected it. 020
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 12/02/2026The hardest thing in Culver City is the 8% ABV kombucha. 000
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 12/02/2026Seriously Pam Bondi calling out Culver City is like calling out Mayberry... and I mean literally. The Andrew Griffith Show was FILMED there. 000
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 12/02/2026All of Pam Bondi's burn book lines were clearly written by Corky Oddjob aka Steven Cheung. I will say this about CO, he's got a comedic "voice." It's not a good one but it's all his. 000
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 12/02/2026Super surprised that Nazi quack woo peddler Dr. Oz is a pedo cannibal. Oh hey this was in 2016 after everyone had supposedly "cut ties" with Jee Vacation. Guess "cutting ties" means inviting him over to watch you and your wife bang on V Day. 000
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 12/02/2026Funniest thing about Bondi's roast was when she tried to mic drop on Syndey Kamalger-Dove with the crime rate in Culver City. Culver City, for the uninitiated, is like if a Whole Foods was gentrified by an Erowhon. You MIGHT find a tear-down 2br craftsman for 2 million but only if it has termites. 100
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 12/02/2026Not all billionaires are bad people. Did you know that Jeff Bezos gave $26 million to one of Epstein's sex trafficking victims and even named a movie after her? 000
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 11/02/2026Ever wonder why so many esteemed surgeons go on to become MLM pseudo-science cranks? Blame Hollywood. Oprah mostly, but Hollywood in general. 100
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 11/02/2026If you take your medical advice from a purple guy with a voice like a clogged Insinkerator, you deserve ALL the cancer. 010
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 11/02/2026What's weird is RFK thinks we need more meat yet he's clearly made of meat. He's just a pack of hamburger left out on the counter so long it became sentient. Doctors: Actually, we need more fruits and vegetables... Guy Made of Meat: No! Meat! Meats to eat! 000
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 11/02/2026RFK Jr is blocking life-saving vaccines from going to market yet thinks we need more protein. Bro, have you not seen a TV ad in the last 6 months? If it's not full of AI it's full of protein. Whole country is scarfing meat like a 12-year-old Slavic girl on Zorro Ranch. 000
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 11/02/2026Esteemed members of Congress, if you step out of the Unredacted Room feigning indignant outrage but offering no new details, I will assume you spent your whole time in there playing Mario Kart and not actually looking to see which of your friends and donors skeet-blasted 10-year-olds on CIA Island. 000
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 11/02/2026Congress teasing Epstein Files tea like a local band promising"big things coming soon." 000
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 10/02/2026Happy to live a life where I haven't one single person bitching about Bad Bunny's half time show. Also, as a CalAngeleno, seeing Victor Villa and Villa's Tacos get the nod was almost (not quite) as good as the Rams getting in. 010
The Velvet Ambassador @velvetambassador.bsky.social · 10/02/2026Useful fictions: Andor One Battle After Another Eyes Wide Shut The Boys Where Eagles Dare Inglorious Basterds Fight Club Alphaville They Live Land of the Dead Snowpiercer A Serbian Film 010
