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Put Down that I Died of a Shark Attack @vanskafka.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Watching a show where people ask HGTV to renovate their house because it’s too “stuck in the 90s” and then some combo of like Urkel and Sabrina the Teenage Witch show up to redesign it lol

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Dr Hannah M. Rowland @hannahmrowland.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Hope your day was better than Darwin’s, on this day 165 years ago

I am very poorly today & very stupid & hate everybody &everything.

Charles Darwin
Letter to Charles Lyell
1st October 1861

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Put Down that I Died of a Shark Attack @vanskafka.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

These Maura Healey ads are making me think my Paul Pierce primary write-in vote didn’t take her out

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Put Down that I Died of a Shark Attack @vanskafka.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

The rules of whatever satanic rule making committee is in Ready or Not 2 and They Will Kill You seem arbitrary or capricious.

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Put Down that I Died of a Shark Attack @vanskafka.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

What was that emo instrumental song playing in the background of the Red Sox game for like 3 mins?

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Put Down that I Died of a Shark Attack @vanskafka.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

If the ref get political dribble like Bob Dole

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Put Down that I Died of a Shark Attack @vanskafka.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Would be super if this hit Boston on like a Tuesday

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Put Down that I Died of a Shark Attack @vanskafka.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Oh hell no. I’m mad that [insert niche special interest tv show] is ranked [# > 1] by NYT. Goddamn centrists.

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Put Down that I Died of a Shark Attack @vanskafka.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Is there a salsa designed so it can be eaten right from the jar?

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Put Down that I Died of a Shark Attack @vanskafka.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

The Jay Z thing with Rick Rubin on HBO is laughably bad (derogatory)

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Put Down that I Died of a Shark Attack @vanskafka.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

This Grateful Dead doc being on Prime is the most Grateful Dead thing about it

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Put Down that I Died of a Shark Attack @vanskafka.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

Does the >|< button on elevators do anything or is it just a good outlet to rage out when in a rush?

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Put Down that I Died of a Shark Attack @vanskafka.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

It is apparently now un-Woke to criticize the genius musical compositions of Macklemore and Ed Sheeran.

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Put Down that I Died of a Shark Attack @vanskafka.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

The 35th round of the MLB draft exists only on the Wikipedia pages of players from other sports #mlb #airmcnair

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Put Down that I Died of a Shark Attack @vanskafka.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

where the radio resounds from doppling traffic where the power lines steal esses from the hourly news de-pluralize our casualties drown the generals out in static we turn and watch our city sprawl and send us signals in the glow

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Put Down that I Died of a Shark Attack @vanskafka.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

Why’d they name vitamins with letters? My 88 part podcast with frequent ad breaks reveals that the answer is … inconclusive.

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Put Down that I Died of a Shark Attack @vanskafka.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

Frats/sororities are for dorks who need someone to tell them how to think, speak, interact. Unfortunately like 70% of the US middle management class was in one and it’s a weird gatekeeping structure even though everyone who participates is a loser, by default.

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Put Down that I Died of a Shark Attack @vanskafka.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

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Put Down that I Died of a Shark Attack @vanskafka.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

The 35th round of the MLB draft exists only on the Wikipedia pages of players from other sports #mlb #airmcnair

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Put Down that I Died of a Shark Attack @vanskafka.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

Lol pretty sure I just got rejected from a Quebec City restaurant because I’m from the US. This rules

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Put Down that I Died of a Shark Attack @vanskafka.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

The worst instantiation of American culture is when the guy says “hey baby” in the song “I Had the Time of My Life.”

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Put Down that I Died of a Shark Attack @vanskafka.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

Hey @universalhub.com any idea where to find the Boston version of this that Jamn 94.5 played all summer that summer? “Dorchester Dorchester crazy loot…”

m.youtube.com

Lord Tariq, Peter Gunz - Déjà Vu (Uptown Baby) (Official Video)

YouTube video by LrdTariqPeterGnzVEVO

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Put Down that I Died of a Shark Attack @vanskafka.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

I gave Troy Jackson $10 and I would now pay someone $100 to block and delete all the dem texts I’ve been getting since

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Put Down that I Died of a Shark Attack @vanskafka.bsky.social · 31/07/2026

Same but Mary Chapin Carpenter, Passionate Kisses, and Bridget Jones’s Diary

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NY Times Pitchbot @nytpitchbot.bsky.social · 19/07/2026

Strait to Hell Donnie jazz thought rocking the casbah would put the clampdown on Iran's ability to give Israel an atom tan, but the Sharifs' hateful ship jamming has our generals asking should we stay or should we go? by Maureen Dowd

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Put Down that I Died of a Shark Attack @vanskafka.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

House Hunters International needs some real fuckin demons

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Mina Kimes @minakimes.bsky.social · 11/07/2026

It’s not my best friend Haaland’s fault that he’s bigger and stronger than these lads

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The Onion @theonion.com · 11/07/2026

“For a while now, the World Cup games have commenced with each player stepping out onto the pitch holding hands with a random child, but we never told anyone to start doing that,” FIFA president Gianni Infantino told reporters

theonion.com

FIFA Admits It Has No Idea Why Soccer Players Walk Out On Field With Little Kids

NEW YORK—Confessing total ignorance as to the origins of the mystifying ritual, FIFA admitted Friday it has absolutely no idea why soccer players routinely walk out onto the field accompanied by a gro...

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Put Down that I Died of a Shark Attack @vanskafka.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

Axel Witsel should give us all a break and change his name to Alex

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dylan‽ @audhdylan.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

"bUt dEcOrUm" you could piss all over his grave on live TV and then run for reelection. Be serious.

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