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eve cigarettes

@twopumpprincess.bsky.social
76 followers 117 following 1.5K posts

i only block losers, if i blocked you that means you are a loser

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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 03/10/2025
can't fuck pumpkins on TV anymore due to woke
The Punkin Chuckin 2009 poster edited to say punkin fuckin
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
another one of my dastardly tricks
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
leaving a review on a rival magician's facebook page that says "you are like one of those cellphone towers disguised as a tree... not fooling anybody"
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
thinking of a fake body of water for a short story "i dunno... make lichigan?"
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
his face is not correct
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
me bitch as a fuck
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
i am so glad i don't know what power critique means or who the makeup lady is
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
new kerning just dropped
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
jeff bezos looks different now i am not the only one who is seeing this right
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Reposted by eve cigarettes
eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 10/09/2025
the worst thing to happen to halloween since rob zombie
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
halloween tip: don't get a scared
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
you wouldn't pin me against the wall and call me slurs... right 👉👈
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Reposted by eve cigarettes
brie “Stupid Twink” monger @stupidtwink.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
a four panel comic featuring matt and jay from nirvana the band the show in their house.

matt bursts into the room and yells “BIRD!” he continues “an all transgender lineup played the Rivoli and it sickens me!!” he presents a flyer designed by sk.ooty on instagram for a show played there a few months ago. Jay stammers “w-why-“

he’s cut off in the next panel which turns the proverbial camera to show Jay dramatically poised on his piano bench. matt shouts “you can get estrogen anywhere Jay!” a smaller panel inside of the panel shows matt elaborate “we couldve been doing this for years! Toronto’s full of chicks pawning off pills!” he continues outside of the mini panel: “we’re gonna be total lateshits compared to these girls, Jay!!”

panel three shows matt walking across the carpet to his whiteboard and uncapping his marker, he says “i’ve been on forums where you order it with bitcoin!!” jay asks “where are we gonna get a bitcoin?” to which matt replies “idk lol, which is why we need this plan”

panel four is a close up on the white board upon which matt has written “chemical castration”, underlined it and also circled it. underneath is written “Windex?”

END
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
if i started saying "whoopsie doodles" would you call me a faggot?
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 09/01/2026
i was with my grandfather when melissa hortman was shot and i will never forget him gleefully saying that "they got a liberal this time"
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
desperately waiting for midterms to be over so i can stop seeing horrifically transphobic and racist commercials every time I turn on the tv
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
the attack ads on kaptur still call her "pro-trans" by the way throwing minorities under the bus won't win over republican voters and actively turn away people who actually would vote for you
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
rad dudes be like "woah is me"
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
cocksucker loves cock? yeah, i'd assume so
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
they are putting me in fortnite but i have no idea why tim sweeney had to 3d scan my penis
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
me and who?
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
the big three
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
darren lies the problem
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
ahem
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
not many people know that the bee movie has a b in it
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
i'm not falling for that trick again chris hansen i know you put a whoopee cushion on that seat
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Mae @spiderpolice.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
yuritober day 6 solo play
its a girl laying on the couch after jerking off
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
austin powers never showers
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
i am all for living by the sword not a huge fan of the dying by the sword part though
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
do zombies ever get full? are they ever like "sorry i can't eat anymore flesh right now"
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
not only am i sipping on gin but also juice
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
transition timeline
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
i spent 18 days in heaven and there was way more fire and brimstone than i was expecting
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
eminem must have crossed a genie causing the last decade of his career to be a series of humiliation rituals
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
i hate milk and i am waging an all out war on cows
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
night of the giving head
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
going on a diatribe, you guys need anything?
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
desperately need a way out of my current living situation
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
jay leno's real name is jason leonard the fourth
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
halloween tip: never ask a ghost what they do for a living, that is considered insensitive
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
GREAT GRANDPARENTS LOST MEDIA?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
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Reposted by eve cigarettes
eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
you let the "stop talking about among us" guy win
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
zoomer coworkers are so crazy man like what do you mean you are nostalgic for ray william johnson videos
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
i am like joe biden if he was woke
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
warm blanket make eve sleepy sleepy
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
many such cases
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
restaurant that offers gluten free hamburger buns but doesn't disclose that they season their fries with wheat
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
energy star compliance tattoo
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
i am shocked that bert still puts up with ernie's bullshit
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eve cigarettes @twopumpprincess.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
you should be able to sue unfunny comedians you are being paid to be funny, so be funny
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